lolterizt! Part 122

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From me (Harvey):

From Kris:

From Paul:

From Paul:

From Paul:

[reference link]

From me (Harvey):

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From me (Harvey):


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

From Paul:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Michael Vick

I’m all for second chances, but I guess I just don’t get it with Michael Vick. It’s probably the nature of the crime. I like dogs, and extreme cruelty to dogs to me is just slightly less worse than cruelty to children; I don’t really get how you come back from that.

“I was molesting children only because I didn’t know that was wrong. But now that I got caught I totally realize it’s wrong and want a second chance.”

This isn’t just one mistake; this is a fundamental malfunction in the guy’s moral makeup. It’s not a simple thing to turn a blind eye to such cruelty as dog fighting; that’s sociopathy. Dog’s give their complete trust to people, and to use that to torture and kill them is not normal human behavior. And we’re supposed to believe he completely rearranged how his brain works because he got caught and served some jail time?

Then again, I guess you don’t need to not be a sociopath to be a good quarterback.

Frank J. for RNC Chair

I saw there was like a debate for RNC Chair, and, assuming the pay is good, I would like to suggest myself for the job.

I believe the ultimate goal of the RNC Chair should be the eradication of Democrats. They should be chased out of America and then hunted down in whatever country they hide in like Nazis. I will keep this in mind in everything I do.

The secondary purpose of the RNC Chair should be to dispose of RINOs. Right now that is handled noisily in public, but I will handle it quietly in the middle of the night and leave no evidence. Just one day, people will say, “Hey; where did the RINOs go?” And I will say, “Shut up; we don’t talk about them… unless you’re a RINO too and want to share their fate!”

The third purpose of the RNC Chair is to raise money. I don’t like begging, though, so I will get most of my money through heists like in Ocean’s Eleven. I won’t steal from Americans, though (that’s what Democrats do), so they will be international heists. So more like Ocean’s Twelve.

The fourth purpose of the RNC Chair is to settle intra-party disputes. This will be done with a thunderdome, the construction of which will begin immediately.

The fifth purpose of the RNC Chair is a secret and I won’t tell you. You can try guessing, but that might get you killed.

So vote for me for RNC Chair as I will keep focused on the true responsibilities of that position. We will have a mighty RNC that will crush our enemies and then find new enemies to also crush so we don’t get bored from lack of crushing.

Thank you.

Random Thoughts

I’m okay with not having a litmus test as soon as we get rid of the RINOs.

New policy: Never speak bad of a fellow Republican, but murdering RINOs while they sleep still on the table.

Why do politicians not want a litmus test? They think they’re better than my hot tub?

Obama’s follow-up phone call to Michael Vick

Last month, the president phoned Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick. According to the White House, the president praised the Eagles for giving Vick a second chance. Our sources say that the president also asked for some advice. And that he called to thank Vick after he returned from vacation.


Mike! It’s Barack…


Barack. Barack Obama. The president. Of the United States. Of America.


Yeah! Hi! How’s it going?


Getting ready for the what? Playoffs? What’s that?


Really? Huh. Never heard of it.


Anyhoo… I just wanted to call and thank you for the advice. Yeah, it’s working. Poll numbers are up.


No, not much. But it’s a start. You know how that is.


Yeah, I’m doing the whole makeover thing.


Yeah, I’m doing the whole package. I mean it worked for you. You’ve got that whole “play offs” thing going. That’s a good thing, right?


Yeah, well, again, I just wanted to say thanks.


Someone’s coming. I gotta run. Okay, bye.


Barack! Where’s Bo?