Apparently there are halal KFCs in Australia, and someone asked for bacon there and… it did not go well. I’m glad that hasn’t happened so far when I asked for bacon on my 5 Guys burger. I mean, what if asking for bacon becomes a hate crime? That would be bad because bacon is all about love.

That gets me to thinking: What are ads for Beggin’ Strips like in Muslim countries since they hate both bacon and dogs? I guess in the ad the dog is sniffing around yelling, “It’s bacon!” but then comes to a Muslim holding the bag who says, “It’s not really bacon. I tricked you, infidel!” And then the dog gets strangled.

Now that Republicans are in charge of the House, the Democrats need to start fear-mongering about them. Here’s some attacks I hear they’re working on to get people good and scared of Republicans:

IF THE GOP HAS ITS WAY…

…not only will there not be abortions, Republicans will put more babies in you.

…NPR will be nothing but Juan Williams expressing fear of Muslims.

…Latinos will be hunted for sport.

…the only book used in science class will be the Bible.

…the ability of the government to help you will be limited by a document written by rich, white racists.

…everyone will get the same health care as horses.

…they’ll tax being poor.

…we’ll declare war on Islam and start by invading Michigan.

…children will be so fat they’ll be legally required to say “Hey hey hey!” before announcing their names.

…they’ll only allow gay marrying if you show competency with a firearm.

…racism against taxes will reach dangerous new levels.

…Obama won’t get a 2nd term which was when he was saving all his competency for.

The GOP reading the Constitution was a pretty obvious political stunt, and all the liberals had to do was ignore it and it would go by unremarked. But they just can’t help themselves. So instead you had Democrats objecting to the Constitution being read, the NYTimes writing editorials about what a horrible waste of time it is, and liberals on the net freaking out like Gremlins when exposed to a bright light. It’s like they’re Muslims and the Constitution is bacon.

The left has just lost control of themselves. They’re angry all the time and they don’t even have coherent reasons why. They are about as hard to politically outsmart right now as it is to outsmart a cat. I mean, the Republicans could have announced, “We’re going to read the Constitution so the left will freak out and prove they hate it.” and the left would have said, “Oh yeah! We’ll show you by freaking out even more than you expected!” Anyway, we now have plenty of clips of “Democrats hating the Constitution” for 2012. Of course, if the left doesn’t eventually get some control over itself, it’s not like it’s going to take lot of political maneuvering to be successful next election.