lolbama! Part 55

Wow! LOTS of good entries this week. Had to make some tough cuts to get it down to 15. If you didn’t make it this week, you’re in good company.

Except you guys submitting Stuart Smalley captions. You guys all suck! A pox on the lot of you!

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Hart of That Hero:

From Kris:

From Proof of Proof Positive:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From AlanABQ:

From Amanda:

[reference link]

From Arik:

From Hart of That Hero:

From Hart of That Hero:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

From Matt:

From Steve:

[reference link]

From Ziba:

[reference link]


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Yeah, this ain’t a gimme like last week’s, but I have faith in your creative abilities.

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

The Future Will Be Now Soon

It’s 2011, and here is finally the sort of headline I expected to see in this year: “Laser cannons to defend ships from pirates”.

Of course, I expected it would be space pirates. And the lasers would incinerate them and not just blind them. And dinosaurs would fire the lasers. Still, it’s a start. I hope we see much more innovations in the future like this.

“This local 7-11 has a great new way to stop robberies: MISSILES FIRED FROM SPACE!”

“As a new weapon against drug dealers, police have deployed KATANA WIELDING ROBOTS!”

“This small Oklahoma town has an unusual person run their daycare: A NUCLEAR POWERED CYBORG!”

Let’s get working on more things like this. After all, it is THE FUTURE!

Not Raising Taxes Is Like Slavery

Here’s a quote Ramesh Ponnuru posted without comment that I will comment on:

“[T]wo ideological factors caused most Southern whites, including those who were not slave-owners, to defend slavery. First, Americans are wondrous optimists, looking to the upper class and expecting to join it someday. In 1860, many subsistence farmers aspired to become large slave-owners. So poor white Southerners supported slavery then, just as many low-income people support the extension of George W. Bush’s tax cuts for the wealthy now.”

I like to think I’m an understanding person, but I never for the life of me understood the left’s complete and utter freakout over the rich not getting their taxes raised. For the right, it was a pretty simple thing as we thought that was what’s best for the economy and we hold no animosity towards rich people and know we don’t get a special prize if they suffer, but for the left… I dunno. Maybe it’s just the concept that people like to keep money in the private sector is a bit like a rejection of everything the left stands for. Deep down the left know their time is over and everyone is disgusted by them — just like slave-owners knew near the end — but they can’t consciously admit it so they lash out. Well, whenever they reach that realization, slave-owners will keep a seat warm for the left in the dustbin of history.

No Opportunity for the Left

Despite even liberals having to admit there is no evidence the Tuscon shooter was influenced by the right, they’re still hoping to capitalize on the event because they’re ghouls and have nothing better going on. Liberals have been starving for a while, and since they finally smell a little blood in the water, they’re in a complete frenzy. Also, they have it in their head that Bill Clinton recovered after 1994 because of the Oklahoma City bombing, so that means this shooting is Obama’s awesome opportunity!

Here’s a little bit of wisdom that needs to get repeated more often: History never repeats itself. Ever. I don’t know who came up with the expression to opposite effect, but it’s moronic. Or maybe I should say, “A watched history never repeats.” For one thing, the first time something happens, you don’t have people everywhere saying, “This is just like that other time, so here is what will probably happen…” And that’s the big difference: Expectations. What happens most of the time is people look back in history for results they want and try to force current events to fit the past. So what was organic and unpredictable the first time is now awkward and forced. For people who call themselves “progressives”, their heads are stuck in the past quite a lot. It’s like how liberals try to see every conflict like the civil rights battle because they feel that’s something they clearly won and want to repeat, but all it demonstrates is they never really understood what happened there.

So now liberals see a big tragedy as a political opportunity thinking of how in the past things vaguely similar led to political gains… except everyone now sees that’s what they’re doing and they’re exposed as ghoulish. that the left even failed to convince a majority of Democrats that heated rhetoric is to blame for the tragedy. So once again the left just keeps failing in big ways because of their disconnect from the general public; there’s just too much information out there now for their silly narratives to take hold.

Random Thoughts

The frustrating thing about a lone crazy person is that in the end there is no one to really blame except the lone crazy person.

Know what caused the collapse of the Roman Empire? Talk radio.

It’s the allowing of heated rhetoric in America that protects us from political violence.

It is a little disturbing how Sarah Palin names caribou after liberal politicians just before she shoots them.

Shouldn’t evil Dick Cheney get some blame? He taught us it’s okay to shoot people.

There is no problem with heated political rhetoric as long as we all follow proper heating instructions.

I always assumed the Dupnik stupidity is a hope to find a scapegoat other than himself.

There are tens of millions of armed, angry conservatives. If the left were right about us, wouldn’t they all be dead?

What’s with shaving your head and being crazy? Maybe hair help keeps brain at right temperature for sanity.

At least the left and right will all be able to unite to despise Fred Phelps.

I Love the Handy Self-Parodying Feature

Via Politico:

“Today we have seen the results” of “irresponsible and dangerous rhetoric,” former Democratic senator and presidential candidate Gary Hart wrote on Huffington Post.

Rhetoric like “follow me around”?

Yes, we HAVE seen that, Mr. Hart.