It’s 2011, and here is finally the sort of headline I expected to see in this year: “Laser cannons to defend ships from pirates”.
Of course, I expected it would be space pirates. And the lasers would incinerate them and not just blind them. And dinosaurs would fire the lasers. Still, it’s a start. I hope we see much more innovations in the future like this.
“This local 7-11 has a great new way to stop robberies: MISSILES FIRED FROM SPACE!”
“As a new weapon against drug dealers, police have deployed KATANA WIELDING ROBOTS!”
“This small Oklahoma town has an unusual person run their daycare: A NUCLEAR POWERED CYBORG!”
Let’s get working on more things like this. After all, it is THE FUTURE!
If it’s going to be Space Pirates, I vote for Samus Aran to be the one to wield the lasers.
Yeah…this might be good…but I think a better way to deal with pirates is to use the tried and true SEAL method.
The Future is in the Past, my friends.
Please sign my petition to modernize the USS Iowa and her sisters with nuclear power, a flight deck for launching Pterodactyls with rocket launchers, and an underwater hangar for Navy SEALs and sharks with torpedoes.
According to this article, the laser dazzles and distracts them. I want a laser that ignites them, and leaves the wind and the waves to disperse the remaining ash.
Is that too much to ask for?
Lasers are cool, but there is something so attractive about the Russian method.
“Freed Somali pirates ‘probably died’ say Russians” was the article title I lovingly recall.
‘Twas a time when we sent the Marines to eliminate pirate bases, thereby eliminating pirates. Now, we are going to “dazzle them with light.” I like the laser thing, but if we aren’t going to vaporize the pirates — or at least bore neat holes through their heads — can we truly call this progress? I’m a supporter of the dazzling laser if by using it we capture the pirates, lock them in gibbets, and hang them over the prow of the ship that captured them. I think dead, rotting pirates in gibbets would be a better deterrent than dazzling light.
Burmashave, you are once again correct. I will add that “dazzling” opponents with light is the strategy behind the “uniforms” of the Oregon Ducks. I dare say that didn’t work well.
If the laser is just “dazzling lights” we should keep that one for liberals and continue to develope the “burning holes in pirate heads” version. Show the liberals the dazzling lights with one hand, and behind our backs we’re burning holes in pirate heads.
Leave it to the weenies in europe to try to “dazzle” pirates with pretty lights.
Personally I believe in the “seeing stars and crimson tides” .308 method for pirate control.
Whats wrong with just putting Ninjas aboard ship? Perfect protection against pirates.
Did someone say something about the Russian method of pirate control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDmdtcyDVlg
Unfortunately for the pirates, it looks like the Russians may have forgotten to let them get off that boat before they made this catchy music video.
uses lasers to incapacitate pirates by dazzling them
Then, once their fellow members of the religion of peace realize how dazzling they are, they’ll knock a wall over on them and the world
will be a better place. good plan……
That was very insightful, Mr. M, and I thank you.
Shirtless men firing automatic weapons. I dare say Russia’s version of a Marine Corps appears to be any ordinary day in the Deep South.
Saw on the news today that Hillary Clinton took a tumble while boarding her aircraft. I’m just wondering if we’ll now have to suffer through endless episodes of Saturday Night Live watching an aged Chevy Chase do pratfalls on stage in order to ridicule her fauxpas as he did when Gerald ford was president?
What I would like to see in the future? The left spending any time on defense. How about a machine that makes accusations against them that America hears and then we fecklessly ramp up the next accusation/narrative to drown out or change the subject while they try and defend themselves. I wonder how angry they would have after about 40 years of that day in and day out.
This spaghetti at the wall approach to accusations against the rest of us is why we are always on defense from one inane ridiculous assertion after another. While we have plenty of ace, Allah, Ed, NRO etc.. to dismantle their nonsense America never hears any of it. We have got to find a way to break this dysfunctional cycle. Its the thing about the left that makes me most angry.
Thank you MarkoMancuso. At first I was worried that the Russians were firing on the boat with the pirates still on board, but then towards the end I noticed the heads of Somalia pirates bobbing in the water alongside the boat, as it was in flames, and being shot up. So it looks like the Russians let them get off.
Wait, why develop lasers to burn holes in they skulls? We should burn holes in their chest so we can decapitate them and put their heads on pikes on top of the ships as trophies.
Mr M: Thanks. Can I just say that it was a treat to see an actual Russian wielding an AK-47? I can’t remember the last time I saw anyone but a terrorist with one.
I like their overkill. Russians have that down well, and it is an effective deterrent. As Henry Fonda once said, “People scare better when they’re dyin'”
On the other hand, I was disappointed with their ability to put rounds on target at mebbe 1,000 yards, before they closed range. I did like their airburst weapon. I wonder if we have anything like that, mebbe in a 5″ version, for our destroyers. I had to look up the heavy machine gun at the end. It’s a relatively new Russian 50 cal (Kord 12.7). It has such low recoil that it can be fired by infantry from a bipod.
I still like the old Battleships and the 16 inch guns! They need to be brought back because they were so awesome! Why fire a laser beam when a 16 inch shell that weighs around a ton full of super high explosives will do? Let’s see the Somali Pirates take on the Iowa or the Missouri!
So, they expect this to work kinda like a cloaking device? If it works that’s kinda cool, but to be totally effective it needs to have a sonic disruptor feature as well. I await transporter technology, so they can transport the pirates into the engine block of the pirate ship.
Don’t worry, pirates: “The laser, which will have to be approved for use under the UN’s protocol on blinding laser weapons before it can be deployed on ships,”
Let’s just hope the pirates never learn about sunglasses.
Why don’t they just hire the cardinals to dazzle the pirates?
@USSJC: I was pondering on battleships as well. Videos of a 2,300 lb shell literally vaporizing a tiny ship would be much more enjoyable than watching Russkies shoot at it with AK-47’s.
Why not just disable their engines with a few .50 cal rounds, then run’em over and leave’em for the sharks?