No one thinks Obama can solve the nation’s problems anymore, and even Obama’s biggest supporters are starting to lose faith in him. If he’s going to have any chance at reelection, he’s going to need to take some measure soon to make people have confidence in his administration. Since I like being helpful, I came up with some ideas:
WAYS OBAMA CAN INCREASE CONFIDENCE IN HIS ADMINISTRATION
* Start and end every speech with the phrase, “I’m very, very smart.”
* Replace Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner with a eleven-year-old who knows how to use a calculator.
* Make Joe Biden wear a helmet and mittens at all times.
* Demonstrate an understanding of the middle class by publicly being seen reading an article about them in The Economist.
* Put Harry Reid in a retirement home. One he can’t get out of.
* Announce he won’t rest until he create some jobs or at least understands what one is.
* Take an interest in public health by banning large sodas and children.
* Dump a bucket of water on Nancy Pelosi so people can see she doesn’t melt.
* Wear a mortarboard hat at all times so people know he’s smart like that owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial.
* Be publicly seen with dogs while very conspicuously not eating them.
* Spend more time with Hollywood celebrities (‘A’ list only)
* Switch from arrugula to romaine.
* Stay away from buckets.
* Ask his boyfriend to marry him.
* Kiss Madonna on stage.
Make sure his wife goes all the way down.
Cry publicly on how democracy died, tonight!
Be seen talking to someone who owns a Volvo
Hug and kiss jojo biden.
Fire his administration.
Appoint new administration and quickly resign.