55 Comments

  1. Seriously- this “Russian woman” is not just any random female, but is the first woman in space, who orbited back in 1963. (It took the US over twenty to duplicate this.) She’s already in the history books.

    But what to send with her?

    That’s easy- Major Kong knows what to bring:

    – One forty-five caliber automatic
    – Two boxes of ammunition
    – Four days’ concentrated emergency rations
    – One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine,
    vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
    – One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
    – One hundred dollars in rubles
    – One hundred dollars in gold
    – Nine packs of chewing gum
    – One issue of prophylactics
    – Three lipsticks
    – Three pair of nylon stockings.

  2. A Russian woman volunteered to go on a one-way trip to Mars. Also going…

    …several passengers booked on the connecting flight to Dallas. Hey, it was either that or connect through Atlanta.

  3. …is her tombstone.

    …will be Jimmy Carter to make sure those Martian canals don’t belong to us.

    …is 400 pounds of bacon and six rolls of duct tape. And Harvey.

    …will be an emergency choose a savior and religion kit for those anxious last Communist breaths.

    …are all of MSNBC and CNN’s network employees in the hope that there might be a viewer on Mars but at least Valentina will provide a ratings bump if they can wrest the remote from her.

  4. @36 – “will be Jimmy Carter to make sure those Martian canals don’t belong to us”

    Historical reference bacon to Dohtimes!

    That one still sticks in my craw, and is just one of the many reasons that I’ll be dancing a merry jig when that substandard bureaucrat finally joins the choir invisible.

  5. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.