34 Comments

  1. . . . repeated CDC assurances that rats are not a known Ebola vector, stated that rat-infested ships from West Africa would not be prevented from docking in New York, and urged everybody to just calm the hell down and stop stigmatizing the afflicted populations of Africa with irrational, isolationist, jingoistic and demeaning over-reactions. RAAACISTS!!1!

  2. After being told the city’s rat population was on the rise, NYC’s Mayor…

    was a bit confused since rats normally leave a sinking ship. Or conversely,

    was proud to announce proof that Obama was helping to grow NYC.

  3. …Didn’t give a rat’s [rear end].

    …As long as they didn’t smoke, use salt, drink more than 16 oz of soda, or carry guns they’re welcome in NYC.

    …Was concerned about all the diseases they might catch from the average New Yorker.

  4. … wondered if the number of blood-sucking parasites would see an up-tick also. (Boooo!)

    … did his best Dean Vermin Wormer impression, and told them to put Niedermeier on it.

    … suggested raising taxes.

  5. After Being Told the City’s Rat Population Was on the Rise, NYC’s Mayor… said “Nothing to see here, this is just part of the Family Reunification plan”….. and proceeded to blame Bush…. seemed like the right thing at the time.

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