Archive of entries posted by Oppo
… And I Think to Myself, What a Wonderful World
Straight Line of the Day: What Is One of the Cool Moments You Remember From High School?
I was in a student theater production (the course was mandatory, you understand. I’m a shy guy.)
We had to present a revue on stage at the end of the semester, to parade what we’d learned. As I recall it, I devised the scenarios for the whole 30-minute show — four skits, depicting four years of high school — though others wrote lines. I was already a big Monty Python fan, so this seemed easy to me.
The last skit called for senior high school students to be smoking weed, which called for the prop folks to provide tobacco, to pretend it was weed. I substituted weed. My friends in the audience told me that it was obvious that I had done so.
I was a big hit with myself. Also, during the act, an actor threw a Frisbee from stage left to me, which I caught, behind my back, stage right, with the joint still in my mouth. To applause.
Haven’t done weed since freshman year in college, though. Dangerous stuff. Beer is more self-limiting.
Welcome to IMAO! Already Getting Ready for Our Annual Pay, With Christmas Bonus
Take THAT, God!
(Not for the weak of heart, or stomach)
How Gender Reassignment Surgery Works
Live Science | 8/26/13 | Ross Toro
Ugh. Toto, Toro! It’s worse than a bullfight.
Converting male anatomy to female anatomy requires removing the penis, reshaping genital tissue to …
OK, that’s enough.
An incision is made into the scrotum, and the flap of skin is pulled back. The testes are removed.
I said, that’s enough!
Following surgery, estrogen (a female hormone) will stimulate breast development, widen the hips, inhibit the growth of facial hair and slightly increase voice pitch.
Will you please shut up?
Female-to-male surgery has achieved lesser success due to the difficulty of creating a functioning penis from the much smaller clitoral tissue available in the female genitals.
Oh, for the love of —
I’m going to go watch some 70s and 80s sitcoms, or even old IMAO comments, to cleanse my worldview.
Wait — What in Hell Am I Reading?
Pickleball victim breaks silence after shocking on-court attack: ‘Lost memory for three hours’
NY Post | 11/20/2024 | Andew McMurty, News.com.auThe man who got kicked in the face in a shocking moment of pickleball violence just wants to be done with it and has no plans on pressing charges.
Footage of the fiery on-court altercation at a tournament in Mexico has gone viral, surprising many given pickleball’s reputation as a friendly sport.
In what appeared to be a match point, the eventual kicker, who was wearing pink shorts, received a serve before approaching the net, where he illegally stepped over the non-volley line.
That mistake gave away a foot fault, and ultimately the match.
Lost memory for three hours? Wearing pink shorts? Kicked in the face? Had he been maintaining silence, and now broke it? Pickleball? Kicker? “Appeared to be a match point”? Wasn’t anyone keeping score?
Straight Line of the Day: How Else Could You Demonstrate the Significance of Relativistic Effects in Superheavy Elements?
The Periodic Table Just Got Wilder: Scientists Unveil the Secrets of the Heaviest Element Ever – Moscovium
Scitech Daily | November 21, 2024 | GSI Helmholtz Centre for Heavy Ion ResearchMoscovium and nihonium have been identified as more reactive than flerovium, demonstrating the significance of relativistic effects in superheavy elements.
An international team led by scientists from GSI/FAIR in Darmstadt, Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz, and the Helmholtz Institute Mainz has successfully determined the chemical properties of the artificially produced superheavy elements moscovium and nihonium (elements 115 and 113).
Moscovium is now the heaviest element ever to be chemically studied.
Welcome to IMAO! Here’s Something From the Motor Pool To Go Pick Up the New Intern From the Airport
Friday Night Open Thread: Fear and Fish
An Hour Later, They Wanted To Vote Again
Election 2024: Here’s Why Asian Americans Shifted Right
Real Clear Politics | 11/20/2024 | Neetu Arnold… Asian Americans soured on Democrats as they watched their quality of life decrease. …
“You only understand what you signed up for after they [Democrats] win and you have to put up with crime and squalor,” Pennsylvania voter Teesta Dasgupta said.
And I thought they were well-educated. Speaking of which:
In Fairfax County, Virginia, Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology changed its merit-based admissions policy in a bid to “decrease the representation of Asian Americans” in favor of other racial minorities.
Incitement
New Phrase of the Week
Thousands of British Farmers Protest Changes to Inheritance Tax
Legal Insurrection Foundation | November 19, 2024 | Mary Chastain… Sky News spoke to one farmer: …
“We’ve probably buried our head in the sand a little bit. I think, back of a fag-packet rough estimates, tax is going to be north of half a million [pounds].”
Work it into your next conversation!
We use backs of napkins and envelopes, ye heathens.
