* Alabama and Mississippi vote today, and this could possibly mean yet another Gingrich surge if he sweeps them both. Will this primary ever end? Maybe we are heading to a brokered convention scenario, but I’m just not super hopeful the people making the decision there won’t just choose some super RINO who otherwise would have been unelectable in a Republican primary.

I really hate Republicans. It’s just a much smaller, less visceral hate than that of Democrats.

* Obama’s whole “There’s a war on women and I’m going to save you from having to go to Walgreens and buy contraception yourself” strategy doesn’t seem to be helping him as he’s hitting new lows in the polls. Probably because of things people actually care about like gas prices. Obama desperately wants a lot of distractions to help his chances of reelection, but I’m not sure that any amount of smoke and mirrors can cover how much he sucks at being the president.

Maybe he should learn to juggle. Anytime people point out how bad the economy and deficit are, he can just start juggling. And if people still question him, he can switch to juggling knives. Ooh! Knives! He could hurt himself. This is exciting!

* Actually, I do have one bit of praise for Obama. Despite all the recent horrible setbacks in Afghanistan, Obama has assured everyone that there will be no “rush for the exits” which seems like the right thing to say. The only times Obama seems presidential is in occasional dealings with the military — probably because he deviates the least from his predecessor in his strategies there. It’s not that he’s done anything particularly good — it’s just the one area where Obama had preformed above my really low expectations.

* Have you noticed how about 95% of modern feminism is about contraception and abortion? I.e., most of feminism is about being able to have consequence free sex — so it’s feminism as designed by horny teenage boys.

Also, have you noticed how most of the women shrieking about how the Republicans want to control their bodies are people who no one wants to touch their bodies with ten foot polls?

Just observations.

* Eric Holder is opposing the Texas voter ID law because he says it’s harmful to Hispanics. Being a racist, you may think minorities are like anyone else and that getting a photo id would be an extremely simple thing for them as it is for everyone, but progressives want you to know that minorities find things that are simple to white people to be extremely confusing and complicated. An Hispanic getting a photo ID? That’s like teaching a dog to walk on its hind legs, apparently.

Photo IDs are used for tons of things in every day life; instead of these voting laws, shouldn’t we be focused on helping the people who somehow have trouble getting a photo ID get one?

* Also, have you noticed how Democrats try to claim Republicans are the stupid ones, yet the Democrats’ reelection strategies all seem to be about getting as many uninformed people to the polls as possible?

* Wisdom of the Day from La Shawn Barber:

Next time pharmacy person at CVS asks to see my photo ID when I buy pseudoephedrine, I’m gonna shout, “Jim Crow has returned!”

* As you’ve probably heard by now, the Obama administration purchased the rights to the movie version of Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything, and the movie will be coming out Thursday this week. Over at PJ Media, I wrote up my thoughts on this momentous occasion.

* More primaries tomorrow. I guess Southern states. I really don’t care; I just want this over. We all know our nominee is going to be Romney and we’re just delaying the inevitable. I don’t like any of the other choices enough to keep pretending, though. Can’t we just end this and focus on how bad Obama is. Please?

* Democrats have their new talking point: The GOP is doing a “War on Women”. And the sad thing is some people are dumb enough to think that’s a real thing. I for one just find it supremely dishonest with the left pretends to care about anything other than their own politics. Democrats care about women the same way they care about blacks — they’re groups they can get votes from. If you ever want to see great examples of misogyny or racism, see how the left reacts to women and minorities who disagree with them.

If the left really cared about women, they have lots of misogyny on their own side to police without ever having to worry about conservatives. Plus, their own side might actually listen to them. But they tolerated a Senator who left a woman to drown in a car. And enthusiastically supported a president who sexually harassed women and dismissed accusations of rape against him. And just look at how they treat Sarah Palin. So if a liberal says he cares about women, tell him, “You care about women the same way I care about your face.” Then punch him really hard in the face.

* Hey, remember Alan Grayson? The liberals would talk about the need for civility, and then support this moronic, dishonest blowhard. So, were you wondering what he’s been up to since he lost his reelection by a wide margin? He ran a red light and crashed into a bus while heading to a campaign rally. Apparently he was heading to one of those $1000 a plate “We care about the poor” dinners. I don’t know if I could eat dinner with Alan Grayson in attendance; he probably eats like the cookie monster.

People supported that guy and still vote to this day. It’s scary.

* I think I’ve realized one of the great things about Andrew Breitbart was how much he scared the left. They’d act all dismissive of him, but freak out whenever he did anything and try to figure out what his trap was so they could prevent it before hand. It’s like how the White House immediately fired Shirley Sherrod when he released that one video. “Take that, Breitbart! Now you’re attacking someone who doesn’t even work for us anymore!” Of course, they ended up falling into it by doing that. And now some new videos of Obama’s college years are coming out and the left are jumping over themselves to say how insignificant they are. Because they’re scared. And that’s funny.

* So the left freaked out over Rush Limbaugh saying slut, but Bill Maher calls Sarah Palin a c-word and says other misogynist things, and Obama is all like, “This guy should fund raise for us.” The left don’t care about women. They care about politics. That’s why they’re always hesitant to talk about abuses of women in the Middle East, because to say Islamists are especially bad is to support right-wing viewpoints — and helping the other ideological side is much worse to them than anything that could happen to a woman, such as being drowned in a car. They’re the same way about racism. They like racism against people like Michelle Malkin and Clarence Thomas because they have different political views and thus deserve any horrible thing you can think of.

So next time the left acts like they don’t like harsh or vulgar rhetoric, we need to say to them, “No you don’t. You never disliked that. Shut up.”

* And people need to spend more time pointing out what a moral coward Barrack Obama is. He has a history of hanging around awful people and never speaking up. He went to Jeremiah Wright’s church for 20 years, he hung out with terrorist Bill Ayers, and now he won’t denounce Bill Maher because he wants that filthy lucre. And you know how dumb stupid Sarah Palin stood up against her own party in Alaska because it was corrupt? Is there any story of Obama standing against his own party on corruption. Maybe he just never ran into corruption… in Chicago.

When asked about Bill Maher, Obama said he’s not going to single out more bad people and just lead by example. Well, considering how awful the left acts, he’s a horrible leader.

Obama: Moral coward and useless as a leader. That’s all provable.

* The Keystone pipeline was once again defeated, though because of numerous Democrat defections there were 56 votes for it. If we had a problem with jobs and gas prices in this country right now, this would be a really big issue.

* Charles Murray has some ideas on how to reduce the isolation between the upper and lower class. I have my own idea: a fight club. Everyone is equal in a fight club. Also, rich people love punching poor people.

* Words of Wisdom from jon:

Just because I prefer white chocolate doesn’t make me racist but in the interest of full disclosure I do not care for minorities.

* So there’s going to be this big documentary of the Obama presidency. You’d think it would be pretty cool — like one of those big disaster films like the movie 2012. But apparently it’s going to be a campaign tool for the Obama campaign, which means it will be about the Obama presidency but they’ll somehow portray all he’s done as good. So I’m not sure if it’s a documentary or science fiction.

* Joe the Plumber won a primary to run for the seat that Dennis Kucinich will not be running for. He probably has no chancehas it’s a very Democrat district, but it’s nice to see him out there again. As you remember, Obama came by his property and he dared to ask Obama a pointed question. So the media then searched into his background, doing all the research on Joe the Plumber that they refused to do on Barack the Community Organizer. Basically, Joe the Plumber reminds us of exactly why we hate the media and want to punch them in their stupid hippie faces. So good luck to Joe, but luckily he has an actual marketable skill to fall back on if he doesn’t get elected… another big contrast between him and Obama.

* There’s some talk that Obama may try some attack on gun rights in his second term… which seems pretty suicidal. I mean, it won’t hurt Obama if he’s already been reelected, but it will decimate the Democrats, most of whom have learned that the 2nd Amendment stove his hot — don’t touch it!

Of course, the Supreme Court case showed we’re only one judge away from not having an individual right to bear arms recognized. Obama claims he supports a right to bear arms while also pointing to the judges unable to identify and read the 2nd Amendment as his model justices. Isn’t it stupid how much of our rights depend on under which president a justice dies or retires? We really have to come up with a better system that the current Supreme Court.

* So apparently video games make you a quicker thinker and smarter. So basically, all my video game playing is making me like a super human. If you’re wondering how I became this awesome political writer, it was finding all the heart pieces in Legend of Zelda games. So if you’re wife or girlfriend tells you to play less video games, remember she’s just trying to make you weaker and dumber so she can control you.

Why again do we have wives and girlfriends? They really get in the way of playing video games.

* Wisdom of the Day from Alex Baze:

Love means never having to say you’re sorry. Marriage means never saying anything else.

* So what sank the Titanic? Scientists are now blaming… the moon! If the moon causing one of our greatest naval tragedies isn’t an act of war, I don’t know what is. And don’t think it’s the last time the moon will strike against us if we let this go unavenged. So how should we retaliate? I think you all know.

* So SarahK, Buttercup, and I went to Idaho’s first ever caucus last night. Usually Idaho has a primary so late no one ever cares. In 2008, Barack Obama was the only candidate of either part to visit our state, but this year we got all four remaining Republicans to come… so some success.

Anyway, for Ada county where I live, over 9,000 of us came to the Taco Bell Arena (only yards away from the Smurf Turf on the Boise State University campus which luckily had free WiFi). Here’s a picture from before it finished filling up (the next row above those picture also got filled up).

After a really long time to let more people come in (they were supposed to close the doors at 7pm MT but kept them open another 30 minutes), representatives for each candidate spoke for five minutes (Santorum had a video). Then we went to vote which consisted of dropping a penny in the jar of which candidate we wanted. And then they counted the over 9,000 pennies. First round of voting wasn’t finished until 10pm. And luckily, Romney got a little over 50% the first round ending things there (Newt only got 3.5%; could only see one sign for him there and it was homemade). At the rate things were going, it could have literally lasted all night to go the maximum three rounds (at least one person would be eliminated each round until someone got more than 50%).

BTW, I voted for Romney because I wanted to get out of there quickest. That’s my philosophy on the primary now. Maybe that’s not the best reason to vote, but the baby had to get to bed.

* And that’s all the time I have for blogging this morning, which is too bad because there’s lots to talk about. Romney didn’t do so great yesterday while still making himself more and more inevitable. Interesting is this Right Wing News poll of right-wing bloggers where Romney wins against each of the other three candidates but loses to unknown from brokered convention.

Also, Dennis Kucinich lost his primary (his district was merged with another). So there goes a longtime running joke. He’s so goofy and completely out there, but it’s just impossible not to like the little guy. He at least seems so sincere. It seems easier to be that way in politics if you’re crazy.

* Oh, and one more thing, I heard someone on Twitter (Slublog) say how much he liked the new DirectTV ad with Charlie Sheen, and I was like, “My sister worked on that!” I hadn’t got to see it yet, but here it is:

No, I’m not sure how near Charlie Sheen got to my sister, and I am worried.

* It’s Super Tuesday! Super!

This is Idaho’s first year to caucus, so I think SarahK and I are going to go get registered as a Republican (Idaho didn’t used to have party registration) and participate. Who will I caucus for? I don’t think I can say because I’m like a journalist or something I need to pretend to not be biased. I am a journalist, right? Well, if I do something wrong, I’m sure someone will sue me to let me know.

So, anyone else participating in this Tuesday which is super? I really hope this primary is over soon because I want to focus on attacking Obama since I hate him. I mean… maybe I hate him. You wouldn’t know, since I’m not biased.

* Steny Hoyer says that Sandra Fluke should sue Rush Limbaugh for libel for implying she’s a slut. Do you ever find it disturbing that so many people in government are ignorant of the law and freedom of speech? I try not to worry about stuff like that. We can get so wound up about politics when so little of it directly affects us. I try to focus on more down to earth stuff like properly stocking my bomb shelter.

* It ends up that contraception isn’t the only thing Sandra Fluke wants private insurance to be forced to cover — she also thinks they should have to cover gender reassignment surgery. I could make some jokes about this at Fluke’s expense, but then the president might yell at me.

The Democrats are trying to portray Fluke as some poor college student, but she’s actually a 30-year-old weirdo activist. She’s probably never even had sex.

* Obama has said that he “has Israel’s back.” So Israel should go forth knowing full well knowing that Obama is behind them… actually, that would creep me out. I’d keep glancing back saying, “What are you up to, Obama?” I just don’t trust that guy. You really want him in front where you can see him. Then again, if he leads the charge against Iran for Israel, he might get to Iran first and warn them an attack is coming.

Actually, if I were Israel, I might just leave Obama out of it. Unless they’re problem is not enough contraception mandates.

* Leaked word is that Osama wasn’t buried at sea and the U.S. government might still have his body. What do you think they’re using it for? Hopefully not a cloned army of mini-Osamas. They probably have them in a lab somewhere for research purposes, but you know something is going to happen and then they’ll escape and it will be like Gremlins but with Osamas. No matter what they do, no matter how much they cry, always force-feed them bacon after midnight.

* Wisdom of the Day from Kurt Schlichter:

I don’t think Sandra Fluke is a “slut” – I think she’s a whiny moocher with fascist tendencies. If she was a slut I’d like her better.

I have a new New York Post column in which I introduce the phrase “kung fu fighting invisible ninjas”.

One of the greatest success stories of Barack Obama’s presidency has been his ability to govern despite hundreds of millions of Americans who just can’t stand the fact that the president is black. They’re also about 99.9999 percent invisible, but that’s not the salient point. The point is that they’re racist, which we all know is wrong, and good people have stood up to them, and thus far the presidency has survived.

Go read, enjoy, and then proclaim to all how smart and clever I am and that everyone should read me.

* So unemployment is crazy high, gas prices are skyrocketing, Iran is working towards nuclear weapons, so we need to… Oh! A radio talk show host called a woman who spent $3000 on contraception a slut! The president needs to drop everything and focus on that!

We have a lot of big problems in this country. What we also have are really boring problems and thus seem to easily latch on to distractions. We’re a country in dire need of Ritalin.

* Apple says they’re responsible for creating 514,000 jobs in this country. Not only did they create those jobs, but they didn’t forcefully confiscate any of our money to do it. And we got cool things like iPads as part of the deal. Obama took our money, lost jobs, and all we got out of the deal is him interrupting our favorite TV shows with his asinine speeches. So is Apple better at helping our country than Obama? Yes, but you can say the same for the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

* Andrew Breitbart wrote a column before he passed away: THE VETTING, PART I: BARACK’S LOVE SONG TO ALINSKY.

I guess Breitbart decided it was time to start looking into Obama’s background. Over three years into his presidency seems like a good time — especially when the rest of the media has refused to.

Also, the death of Breitbart has inspired the creater of HBO’s Carnivale to come out as a conservative. Hollywood is a hard place to work if you don’t mindlessly subscribe to all left-wing viewpoints. It’s a lot of biting your tongue to just do your job.

Oh, and I thought I never interacted with Andrew Breitbart, but I forgot that he once stole my race card. So I never got to meet him, but he once stole from me. That’s something, right?

* Wisdom of the Day from Jon G.:

Obama 2008: “This is the moment when our planet began to heal!”
Obama 2012: “Uh… I can probably hook you up with free rubbers.”

* Because so many moral midgets bad-mouthing Andrew Breitbart on his death pointed out how Breitbart wasn’t nice about Ted Kennedy when Ted Kennedy died, we’ve got to revisit what a black mark on liberalism and the country in general the existence of Ted Kennedy was. I wrote a lot of my feelings right after Ted Kennedy died on PJ Media, but I’m still not over it. The existence of Ted Kennedy is a horrible thing from the past that I feel previous generations owe me an apology for. Murder shouldn’t be a partisan issue. Everyone should have despised Ted Kennedy. I would think people would finally realize that after his death, but there are still people who stick up for him and ignore the fact that he let a woman drown — didn’t even try calling for help. And then he ran for reelection, and Massachusetts, like a battered wife, just went along with it. And then everyone in Senate acted like it was a normal thing that this guy who should have been rotting in prison was there in the Senate. And then this king of all scumbags had the audacity to run for president, because we really needed the leadership of a guy who would leave a woman to drown to save his own sorry, worthless hide.

A lot of people think Breitbart did something bad with what happened with Shirley Sherrod, but if Sherrod were stuck in a car and drowning, I’m absolutely certain Breitbart would have least tried to do something about it. Because he had basic humanity. And that’s why no moral person should celebrate his death. Even his political opponents should celebrate Breitbart’s life because in free speech, we need political opponents to make us stronger.

We don’t need scumbag cowards like Ted Kennedy just because he’s from some made up monarchy and agrees with you on your piddling crap political issues. Anyone who voted for Ted Kennedy and ever supported him: I demand an apology.

* On the lighter side, scientists have determined that the T-Rex had the strongest bite of any land animal. You know there are some kids out there who look at a skeleton of a T-Rex and say, “Eh, I bet he couldn’t bite that hard.” and the T-Rex isn’t around to defend himself so that burden lies on scientists. So scientists used all their science and said, “The T-Rex’s bite would have the force equivalent to an elephant sitting on you. But not a large elephant. But not a baby elephant either. We’re talking a medium-sized elephant. We’re scientists and we measure bites in terms of elephants sitting on you.”

No word yet from scientists on how many rockets launchers a T-Rex could carry.

* A British medical publication has argued that killing infants is no worse than abortion and should be allowed. So there we are at infanticide like we didn’t know that’s where this abortion thing was going. Everyone knows that whether the infant is in the mother or out of the mother is rather arbitrary to the value of the infants life. Some would interpret that as why abortion is horrible, but abortion defenders need to go the other way to be consistent… so, infanticide should be allowed.

Since Obama voted against a born alive act that would prevent doctors from killing a live infant who survived an abortion procedure, we should rub his nose in this. “Look what you did! Look what you did!” Obama has complained before about how people talk about him like he’s a dog, but it does seem like the best way to get him to learn.

* From the other end of the spectrum, mobile euthanasia units! Eventually there is just going to be this small little period in the middle of your life where people aren’t allowed to kill you. My suggestion to save yourself: Murder someone. We already know liberals don’t like killing murderers; not so sure on anyone else.

Hmm. What if we taught babies to murder? Maybe then liberals would defend their lives. Not sure if there’s a downside to that plan, though…

* The Blunt amendment to have a religious conscience exemption to Obama’s mandates was defeated. People were portraying it as a ban on contraception, because if you can’t force someone to buy something for you, it’s now a ban. That’s the little Orwellian journey we’ve gone down.

We really need to make a remedial course on rights explaining what rights are and what they aren’t and make everyone take it. Anyone who fails the course will be deported. Which will probably be most of Congress. So awesome.

* Wisdom of the Day from Lee Doren:

The people cheering that Andrew Breitbart is dead want to control your healthcare.

I was about to write my normal post when I saw the news about Andrew Breitbart’s sudden passing. Let’s just consider the mushroom cloud on IMAO to be flying at half height today.

Inevitably, there are a lot on the left celebrating his death. I have trouble understanding that one. The one death of someone I disagreed that I wasn’t civil about was Ted Kennedy. That’s my barrier — you actually have to kill someone to not get my full sympathy. Politics is just too silly to actually hate people over. And the ones joyed by Breitbart’s death are simply exposing their fundamental problem with freedom of speech. They hate to hear anyone disagree when it’s the diversity of opinion in this country that should be celebrated. We keep each other honest. And that’s what Breitbart did; he shined a light where the left didn’t want anything exposed. And having to confront their demons because of him, the left are now better for it.

My prayers go out to Andrew Breitbart’s family.

* It’s February 29th — Leap Day. An extra day you get this year. So, as an American, it means an extra day for you to be awesome. So try a new meal with bacon and punch an extra hippie and blow something up. As Americans, we need to be using every day to its fullest, so this year should be 1/365th more awesome than the previous year.

* So from out of nowhere this Romney guy comes in to win both Arizona and Michigan primaries.

Seriously, though, are we back to Romney being inevitable? I know I’m hoping this primary gets wrapped up next Tuesday — the super of Tuesdays. It’s not that I like Romney as much as I’m just tried of the stupid primary and want to focus on how bad Obama is. Why can’t we just focus on him? He’s awful.

* Olympia Snowe is retiring. You know her; she’s kept a seat warm in the Senate for years while tsking all those mean conservatives. Republicans are panicked because they don’t think they’ll be able to replace her. Is it really that hard to find some boring moderate Republican who vows to never to do anything useful that might upset the status quo? I’m pretty sure there’s oodles of them just sitting around chiding others for being extreme while offering absolutely no solutions for the problems of bloated government and increasing debt.

Or we could just train a dog for the job. One bark yes, two barks no. It would be a big change to have a senator who is loyal.

* Apparently students in Georgetown are going broke with all the contraception they have to buy. Really? That’s not just regular slutty, that’s like super mega slutty. Anyone buying that much contraception should probably be writing it off on her taxes as a business expense.

It used to be freedom was having access to contraception. Now freedom is forcing someone else to buy contraception for you — which isn’t really freedom at all. Well, less freedom, more loose women.

* Gitmo detainees are getting a $750,000 soccer field. That’s outrageous. Not so much the cost as much as we’re letting our enemies play a stupid European sport on our dime. We can’t have terrorists run around for ninety minutes to end in a 0-0 tie; that will just reinforce their angry, terroristy behavior. Teach them some useful productive sports. Build them a football field. Give them each a football. And then tackle them. Bam! That’s how we do things in America! And, I guess, also how we do things when we’re in Cuba.

* This is pretty inevitable: The endangered species act has led to mass slaughter of animals. Yes to help save the spotted owl, they’re going to kill off another owl. Law to save animals plus bureaucracy equals mass slaughter.

So what will health care plus government bureaucracy equal?

* Wisdom of the Day from Jonah Goldberg:

Ed Schultz is on MSNBC complaining about “Bullies.” Like Jesse Ventura complaining about gravelly-voiced paranoid nut jobs.

* Apparently prehistoric penguins stood nearly five feet tall. Scientists estimate they were the world’s deadliest creatures ever and possibly killed off the dinosaurs. Maybe using laser rifles. Five foot penguins with laser rifles — that’s why you only stick to historic times. Because the time before things were historic — the prehistoric times — were crazy.

* Now Gingrich is starting to talk about us getting out of Afghanistan. When so many people riot and murder over a couple books being burned, you do start to wonder what exactly it is we hope to achieve over there. Maybe in the future instead of nation building we should stick to just blowing stuff up in other countries and leaving. We won’t be engaging countries on a more direct level, but maybe they’ll still figure out how to behave if we blow them up enough times. It’s like a more extreme version of hippie punching, as a hippie getting repeatedly punched in the face may eventually help a hippie to learn to not be such a hippie… at least according to a recent scientific study I conducted.

* According to a poll, most Americans believe Obama’s health care mandate is unconstitutional. Obama never did make Obamacare as popular as he hoped… probably because of that whole ignoring the Constitution thing. Now if only five out of nine of the Supreme Court Justices have basic reading comprehension they’ll find Obamacare to be unconstitutional too. And there goes Obama’s biggest achievement. Well, he’ll still have the hundreds in billions in “stimulus” he wasted to no real purpose.

* In another poll with bad news for Obama, 75% of people think the rich should pay 30% or less in taxes — which is lower than their current tax rate. If Democrats were expecting people to be irrationally greedy and hateful of rich people, they might have some trouble. I blame Occupy Wall Street. Through them, people got to see how dumb and pathetic you look when all you do is concern yourself with someone else’s wealth. No one wants to end up as a hippie… because then you’ll find yourself in a scientific experiment where I punch you.

* The Supreme Court won’t take emergency measures to prevent the Asian carp from reaching the Great Lakes. Who in the world, though, when threatened by a fish, would turn to Supreme Court for help? That’s definitely a job for Aquaman. Well, if Superman, Batman, and the Green Lantern aren’t available. Then — if Wonder Woman is one of her “moods” — it’s definitely a job for Aquaman. You’ll just have to buy his plane ticket to get him from the ocean to the Great Lakes.

Aquaman!

* Wisdom of the Day from Sean Thomason:

In modern usage, “Santa Fe” translates roughly to “there’s corn in it.”

* If you live in Michigan or Arizona, remember to vote in the primary today. If Romney doesn’t win in Michigan, it’s supposed to be doom for him. Then we may end up with Santorum as our nominee — who could be a huge disaster in the general election. Or possibly more electable. Though maybe Romney is better positioned because everyone already knows his faults and there will be no surprises. Or no one will vote for him because no one likes him. Then again, perhaps Newt Gingrich is the only one who will actually energize people with a positive view of America and its future. Or he’ll say something stupid and implode as he always does. So anyway… RON PAUL!

* The Michigan and Arizona primaries are tomorrow, and then we’ll find out if Romney still has a threat from the last not-Romney standing. And then next Tuesday is Super Tuesday, and maybe things will be sewn up then. I kind of just want this primary over so we all can just focus on how bad Obama is instead of Republican infighting. Everyone already knows how bad Republicans are; we need to focus on people comprehending how bad Obama is. It’s kind of like with the debt: It’s so large it’s difficult to grasp. That’s how bad a president Obama is.

* But Obama won’t take this competition lying down. He’s unveiled a new slogan: Greater together. And it’s quite true as Obama is very useless by himself and thus much greater when paired with other people. Of course, while helping himself, he tends to diminish us. Kind of like a parasite. Maybe that could be the emblem of his campaign: A tick.

Which would lead to another great campaign slogan: “Spoooon!”

* Will Obama be able to compete with Romney’s ability to relate to the common man, though? In showing he was just like any other redneck who enjoys NASCAR, Romney said that he’s friends with people who own NASCAR teams. And then he said, “I appreciate McDonald’s too; I once had a lobster dinner with the CEO of McDonald’s.” And then he added, “And Wal-Mart is a great store. I haven’t shopped there, but I did shop for a yacht with the owner of Wal-Mart.” And then he had a money fight with the locals, which he always wins since he tends to be the only one with large wads of money ready to throw.

* The creator of the famous Obama “HOPE” poster has pleaded guilty to contempt. Hey, remember back in 2008 people thought Obama was going to be this transformational president? He sort of lost a lot of his mystique when he actually became president and really sucked at it. But at least we’re having progress now that his mindless supporters are being arrested and put on trial. A few million more to go.

* Richard Dawkins says he can’t be sure God doesn’t exist. Well, you know what I do when I’m not sure about something? I go on a big crusade about it and write a bunch of books on the subject. No, wait, that sounds more like what someone with a mental disorder would do. That’s one of the crazy things about lots of atheists: They’re whole movement is supposed to be about being logical and reasonable, yet they tend to rail against religion is a very mindless way that doesn’t seem to serve any more purpose than a tantrum. Perhaps I just don’t understand their strong faith in not having faith.

* Wisdom of the Day from Tony Hernandez:

Contrary to what girls say, they LOVE watching guys play video games

* Obama told a Hispanic audience that “I’ve got another five years coming up.” People think he’s being arrogant about his reelection, but maybe he had been told by a gypsy of when his untimely death would occur and he was referring to that.

The context, though, was him explaining why he hadn’t done all the amnesty pandering he had promised Latinos, so his answer was basically, “I’ve got plenty of time; I’ll get to it later. Why, is this like important to you people?” Hope Latinos weren’t expecting affordable gas either, because that’s another one Obama is totally going to get to in a few more years or so.

* Hamid Karzai has demanded a trial of whoever it is that burned some Korans. Twelve people have been killed in the idiotic riots from the results of this nothing, but let’s totally worry about a couple books. Why did Obama apologize for this? The apology should have been, “I’m sorry your country has so many barbaric, morally twisted individuals who would riot and murder random people over some paper being burned. It feels me with a deep sadness and a desire to just start slapping people in the Middle East and just never ever stop.” Are we ever going to start treating Muslims in the Middle East like fellow human beings and thus have expectations that they act like human beings, or are we going to stick with considering them wild dogs who we have to be careful not to irk because they’re just mindless and violent?

And maybe the Muslims there should consider finding a much more powerful god who isn’t threatened by a little fire.

* Obama is mocking Republicans over the high gas price issue. Yeah, that makes sense.

“Ha. Look at those Republicans all licking their chops ready to make my huge incompetence and complete uselessness an election issue. They’re probably also going to make a big deal out of how I blocked the Keystone pipeline that would have helped with gas prices and created jobs; how silly of them. And I guess next their going to point out how I’m wetting my pants right now; what goofy goof Republicans. Ha. I am laughing.”

But don’t worry, Obama has a comprehensive plan to bring down gas prices. And it will succeed because Obama has a long history of comprehensive plans that totally work and do useful things. And he’s also sent us each our own unicorn. They’re invisible; that’s how you know they’re authentic unicorns.

* Wisdom of the Day from Loren Heal:

Shorter Obama: GOP acts like oil is just waiting underground.

* Paleontologists are using 3D printers to make small robot dinosaurs. While this doesn’t necessarily help make dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them, it certainly doesn’t hurt the cause.

So what would a Paleontologist use small robot dinosaurs for? What a silly question.

* The final Republican primary debate was last night. I don’t think it did Rick Santorum any favors. When attacked he simply didn’t respond very well. I mean, people go after Romney on how he’s basically the father of Obamacare and somehow he weasels out of it, but every time Santorum got attacked on earmarks or supporting Arlen Specter, he was like, “Let me explain.” And then he gave some long, eye-rolling explanation (“Sometimes you have to take one for the team.”) that didn’t seem to help much.

So I think Santorum is on the way down. And I don’t think Gingrich has an extra life left. So… Romney. At least he’s our weasel… sort of. Well, Arizona and Michigan vote on Feb. 28 and Super Tuesday isn’t long after that, and hopefully this mess will be over by then and we can focus on the nitwit we want out.

* So the UK raised taxes on the rich, and now they are… getting even less revenue. This is the sort of thing you should figure out playing Sim City before you get into actual government. If in that game you tried to get more revenue by constantly raising taxes, it doesn’t work because people leave. It’s a simple point, but liberals seems physically unable to grasp it as they are just determined to punish the rich despite having no actual reason or logic behind it.

* 51% of Californians say they’re ready to reelect Obama. Considering how horrible the state has been run and yet Californians keep reelecting the same idiots, at what point do you stop considering that enthusiastic Democrat support and instead characterize it as a suicide attempt?

This is an interesting strategy the Democrats have where they fail a state into solid Democrat control. They just make things so horrible that all the sane Republicans leave. Not really sure what the counter strategy is to that. I just hope Idaho eventually passes a law that Democrats aren’t allowed to immigrate here because we don’t want that happening to our state. Won’t someone think of the potatoes!

* So Google is working on glasses that we’ll wear and information will pop up on while we’re walking. So basically they’re trying to kill us all by making us wander into traffic or something. Maybe I’m just being a Luddite, though; maybe a data overlay can be helpful without being a deadly distraction. Still, when these come out, I’m going to stay off the streets for a while. I mean, that was the whole point of the internet in the first place — that we don’t need to leave our houses.

* If you were worried that males were going to go extinct, scientists say you can stop your worry. Since the y-chromosome doesn’t recombine and just gets passed as is from male to male, scientists were afraid that in about 5 millions years it would be reduced to nothing. And then there wouldn’t be men… which might seem like a problem for the human race. Like, who would kill spiders then? But scientist now think the y chromosome has about stopped degrading, so males will be around for a long time — they’ll just be much sissier as modern trends indicate.

* The White House website still touts Obama’s pledge to halve the deficit. It was $1.3 trillion, and for the fiscal year of 2012, the deficit is projected to be $1.3 trillion. I would check the math on whether $1.3 trillion is one half of $1.3 trillion, but my calculator doesn’t accept numbers that big.

So he didn’t divide the deficit by two, but he did divide it by one. That’s halfway there.

* I was thinking: Isn’t good economic news bad for Obama at this point? Right now, it’s starting to look like the economy is doing better, but a lot of that is because people are so discouraged that they stopped looking for work thus taking themselves out of the unemployment statistics. That gives an artificially low unemployment rate, but if word gets out that the economy is doing better, those people may start looking for work again and suddenly unemployment will go up again because of more people in the workforce. So, best strategy for Obama may be to keep the economy hurting — which he’s much better at than helping it anyway.

* There’s a huge protest at U.S. base in Afghanistan over rumors that a Koran was burned. Things must be going great in that country such that they have no other problems to deal with other than rumors of a book being burned. No wonder things are so awesome in the Middle East!

* Apparently a teenaged girl was knocked up by Hitler. Expect this to enter the contraceptive debate. Of course, you may believe contraceptives will protect your daughter from having Hitler’s love child, but you probably should raise your daughter in a way where she wouldn’t sleep with Hitler in the first place.

* Dick Cheney is lobbying in Maryland for gay marriage. And did you know that the Koch brothers are also pro-gay marriage? So there you have it: The nexus of right-wing evil all in favor of gay marriage. So what’s the chance gay marriage is a right-wing trap that will lead to higher profits for oil companies and more baby seals being clubbed? 99.9%.

* Mexico put up a billboard at their U.S. border saying no more weapons — a jab at America. I’m just surprised the Mexican government functioned long to enough to erect a billboard.

* Wisdom of the Day from Dan Cronin:

Sure, angels can fly, but don’t forget, they live in constant fear of scalpers who want to turn their hair into pasta.

* Here’s another article to file under “Why again are they called ‘progressives’?” It’s a fearful left-wing article about home schooling. Basically the conclusion is that everyone needs to stick to the current school system because that’s how we’ve been doing things and it shouldn’t be questioned and though it’s not great we need to subject our kids to it anyway and just hope eventually it will get better. It’s about as mindlessly dogmatic to an old system as you’ll ever see. As I’ve said, whatever the left accuses us of, that’s what they’re doing — even when they accuse us of being mindlessly conservative.