* Unemployment has had a sharp drop from 9% to 8.6%! This happened as 120,000 new jobs were added.

Wait a second; how does that add up? How can a measly 120,000 jobs cause unemployment to drop that much?

Oh, 315,000 also gave up looking for work. Why do we keep using the regular unemployment statistic? It seems to conceal more than it reveals these days. Usually, a drop in unemployment would be a good thing, but these days all it means is that people have given up.

* GM is now offering to buy back Chevy Volts so they won’t burn your house down. Winning the future, people; winning the future.

You know, the future is never what we expect, so it’s always a dumb idea to try and force technology in a certain direction. Know what I want for the future? My house to not be on fire.

* New study says that religious people trust atheists about as much as they do rapists. Atheists are a bit scary, but they don’t actually exist. Everyone I know who calls himself an atheist subscribes to some morality, and morality is betting on long term results on short term actions. Since you can’t logically prove it out, it involves a leap of faith. And if you’re making leaps of faith, you pretty much have a religion. So it’s not that “atheists” don’t have a religion, they just have a disorganized one. Which isn’t that scary.

* In a scientific (Science!) study done by Saudi Arabia, it was concluded that allowing women to drive will cause the country to have no virgins and turn people gay. It’s funny when some weird fundamentalist makes a silly proclamation like this, but this is a whole country. They really should just start doing a tourist campaign like, “Come to Saudi Arabia and have your pictures taken with modern day cavemen! Laugh as they’re frightened and confused by your women drivers!”

* Wisdom of the Day: “Do your part to drop the unemployment rate! Convince a discouraged job seeker to despair, drop off the grid and become a hobo.” –David Burge

* New Crowder video!

Should we be encouraging our children to join the entertainment industry? I’ll make a TV show if someone will pay me lots of money.

* In a Rasmussen poll, Newt Gingrich beats Obama 45% to 43%. He’s the most electable!

Jim Geraghty has a round up of all the crazy, non-conservative stuff Gingrich has said before. You do have to wonder sometimes why he’s the more conservative choice to Mitt Romney. Maybe it’s just that the left hate him so much; we always take that as a good sign.

Reader Jimmy pointed out, though, that the last Speaker of the House to be president was Polk, America’s most effective one term president (got everything he wanted done the first term so he didn’t run again). Maybe that’s a good sign.

* Obama has decided to abandon the white working class. Instead, he’s going to try to make a coalition between college professors on one end and poor minorities on the other. So basically people who like to think they’re smart (and thus don’t want to be one of those people — the Republicans) and people who aren’t supposed to have any choice but vote for the Democrat because of their skin color. I’m not sure this is a coalition built to last into the far future. Then again, if you’re planning for the really far future, who the parties should really be working to appeal to are robots and monkey-men.

* Hard line Islamists are surging in the Egyptian polls. That’s great, because the one thing I’ve said we’ve always needed in the Middle East is more enemy states.

Are things ever going to improve in the Middle East? Maybe it’s the oil. It’s bad juju. We should steal it all from them for their own good.

* The Obama administration has sealed the records on the Border Patrol agent murdered by the guns from Fast and Furious. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything bad to hide. I mean, it was just the federal government selling weapons to Mexican drug cartels; how much could have gone wrong with that?

* So how is the economic situation? Well, Congress moved quickly to restore the horse-slaughter industry. We just need to make sure we have killing and eating horses as an option for what’s coming ahead. Fido is safe for now, but Obama could get another term.

* New scientific study reveals that babies are vindictive. It’s true. I once told Buttercup “No!” when she tried to play with the remote control, and now she just quietly glares at me whenever I enter the room. How old are kids usually before they learn how to murder?

* More than 200 hundred arrested in peaceful sweep of Occupy LA. I’m not sure exactly what it proves that the Occupy movement keeps being successful in getting even the bluest cities to turn against them. Oh yes: It proves that everyone hates them.

* Obama is on the campaign trail pushing a payroll tax cut — trying to bribe us to reelect him with our money. But I thought we needed more revenue? Oh, we’re going to make it up by raising taxes on the rich. The successful in this country are the people who provided us with all the jobs and technology that led to our cushy lives we now have, yet they always end up the scapegoats. It’s like we have a goose that lays golden eggs, and any time things go wrong for us we punch it in the face.

* So I guess we’re helping out Europe financially. How can we do that when we’re deeply in debt? Are we just moving money from China to them? And does China really have all this excessive money to lend to everyone, or are they in debt too? Does anyone actually have this money to lend to anyone? I’m no economist, but I really think this system is going to one day collapse in an extremely spectacular fashion. Hopefully not while we’re around; maybe it will happen to our kids. That’ll teach those snots.

* The public is split on whether the OWS protesters should take a bath and get a job, with 43% agreeing with Gingrich’s statement and 43% disagreeing. I wonder how the polling would be if they broke out the two parts — like how many agree they should get baths and how many agree they should get jobs. And how many thinks they should get flea dips?

* McDonald’s has found a way around the San Francisco Happy Meal ban: give the toy in exchange for a ten cent donation to the Ronald McDonald house. That’s capitalism; it always finds a way. People think they can restrain it, but it’s like a force of nature — a life form that will strive in even the harshest conditions. Plus, a drunk squirrel could probably outsmart the people who make up San Francisco’s government.

* Wisdom of the Day: “With American Airlines stock at 20 cents, I can’t decide between paying for two checked bags or buying half the company.” –Tim Siedell

* Looking to have an abortion? Don’t expect any help from your iPhone as Siri won’t come up with answers to questions like, “Where can I get an abortion?” So iPhone aren’t just the tech of the future, they preserve it too.

* I have a New York Post column with the only workable plan to reduce government spending: a masked vigilante. It may seem ridiculous, but no one else has a workable solution and we need to do something.

We talk grimly about leaving all that debt to our children, but I don’t think many of us fully realize how horrible it would be. We probably have in the back of our minds: “Children today receive much more expensive educations than we did, so they’ll be better able to figure things out.” But when it’s up to our children and our children’s children to cut spending, guess what they’ll conclude? “Hey, here’s a great way to reduce costs: Take all those old people who left us trillions and trillions in debt and throw them out in the street.”

* So we’re finally getting rid of Barney Frank, as it ends up the only reason such a horrible, horrible congressman could stay in office was very precise gerrymandering and now his district is getting changed. Can we do anything about the awful people who kept reelecting them, though. Can’t we publicly shame them. I want their names printed in registries like sex offenders.

With the economy in complete shambles, someone suggested Barney should hang up a “Mission Accomplished” banner as he leaves. Really, the only just end is for him to go to prison and have all his fortune confiscated, but at least he’ll be gone.

* Apparently the British embassy in Tehran is being stormed. I know if I lived in a horrible oppressive country like Iran whose government kept everyone backwards, the one thing I’d be really mad at would be… the British.

As I’ve said before, the problem in the Middle East isn’t that everyone is too angry — because there is a lot to be angry at there — they’re just never angry at the right things.

* Fitch Rating is keeping America at a AAA status, but changed our outlook to negative and expect to reduce our rating because we can’t do any actual spending cuts. Hopefully they’ll reduce our credit rating soon so Barney Frank can add that to his resume.

* In a book review about the KKK in the New York Times, it was slipped in how the Tea Party is like the KKK because… who knows. You’d think if the person paid attention to the book, he’d notice all the similarities between the KKK and the New York Times editorial board. Like the KKK, the New York Times is made up of people of dying cultural significance who cling to the past and try to prop themselves up by their views that others are inferior. The KKK held the evidence-less view that blacks are inferior to keep their worldview, while the New York Times holds the evidence-less view that conservatives are violent and racist so they don’t have to change their worldview. Also, both are predominantly white.

* More trouble for Cain. If they’re all false accusers, he certainly has a lot of them. Of course, we all know Newt had an affair, but there’s no denying there. Well, maybe it’s all nothing… but it’s certainly a lot of nothing and hasn’t helped with other Cain concerns such as foreign affairs. Maybe Cain would be good in the cabinet though — but everyone would probably expect him to bring pizza to every cabinet meeting. They don’t give him free pizza anymore, so that’s unreasonable.

* Wisdom of the Day: “Herman Cain has now denied more sex than I’ve had.” –Josh Malina

* Really detracting from the green-ness of the Chevy Volt is how it might burn your house down. Do you know the carbon footprint on that? It’s not good. But think of how much you’ll save on gas by no longer having a home to drive to!

What I want to know is how do you take the explosive fuel out of a car and make it more flammable? Genius engineering, that’s how. Good job, government motors!

* In case you haven’t seen it yet, I was on Instavision with Glenn Reynolds:

I still have a lot of room for improvement in interviews, but I feel like I’m at least moving in the right direction. And, BTW, buy my book.

* NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWT!

Gingrich got a major newspaper endorsement in New Hampshire (which apparently actually means something there) and now he’s surged on Intrade to over a 20% chance of getting the nomination.

Now, I know we’re all desperate for a not-Romney, but I wonder if he’s the one we really want. He’s got baggage in his past, and you just know in his arrogance he’s going to say things that will anger us and things that anger everyone else. Then again, he does have a record from being Speaker of getting significant legislation through that actually leads to real change — i.e., I’d have more hope of useful things happening during his presidency than Romney’s.

But I’m starting to get kind of worried of how mad will Romney be if he isn’t nominated. We hear over and over how he’s the smart reasonable choice, so will he turn on us if we reject because we just don’t like him? I mean, could he just as easily go from liberal to conservative and back to liberal?

* Speaking of going liberal, David Frum is threatening to leave the Republican Party if we don’t nominate Romney or Huntsman. Didn’t we kick that twerp out?

There seems to be a cottage industry of useless idiots decrying how dumb and unreasonable everyone is in the Republican Party other than them. Of course, these people never have any solution for how to do things such as get real reductions in spending; they just like patting themselves on the back. It’s very masturbatory, and really shouldn’t be encouraged in public.

* Politico has up a story on how Obama’s toughest critic is himself… which is hard to believe since he hasn’t committed seppuku. If Obama ritually disembowled himself, do you know what I’d say? I’d say, “I misjudged him. I thought he was completely out of touch, but now I see he shares some of my own beliefs.”

* More ClimateGate emails have come out about the manipulation of global warming data to make it look like the science is “settled”. We really need to reverse this almost religious reverence some people have for scientists. If you put a white lab coat on an idiot, you don’t get an infallible sage — you just get an idiot with more pockets.

* Wisdom of the Day: “When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple ‘calm down’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset.” –Bryan Donaldson

* It’s happening. The U.S. government is confiscating fat kids. With us already so much in debt, how are we going to feed all these government-held obese children? And pay for chair repairs?

Anyway, now you have something to help get your kids to eat their vegetable. “You have to eat healthy or you’ll become fat and the government will take you away. It’s true. I can just leave you on the curb Monday; that’s when the government picks up fat kids.”

* It’s an early Festivus miracle!

* Hey, there is a story about me and my book in Politico (including some clips from the Michael Medved Show). Read it and pass it around since it’s important news.

BTW, I’m going to be interviewed by Glenn Reynolds today for his PJTV show. That’s right: Frank J. and the puppy blender head to head for the first time!

* So the Republicans had their 832nd debate on CNN last night. It was actually pretty good without anything too significant happening, though. Probably most of note was how Gingrich went all amnesty when talking about illegal aliens, but didn’t step in it as much as Perry. Also, Huntman finally sounded pretty decent on a few issues and now he’s surged to third on Intrade. The guy has a pretty good resume, he just doesn’t seem to like Republicans or know how to talk to them. But maybe he’s figuring it out. He’s Mormon like Mitt Romney, but still isn’t Mitt Romney so he has that going for him.

I think all the candidates have done enough talking by now. When is the physical challenge?

* Obama says his religious faith gives him hope that Republicans will raise taxes. Man, we’ve heard all these Muslim rumors about him, but it ends up the dude is a devil worshiper!

Notice with all the plagues God inflicted on Egypt, even He didn’t raise their taxes.

* Obama told Occupy protesters that “You are the reason I ran for office.” So Obama ran so that smelly, violent hippies could block people from work for incoherent reasons while pooping on each other. Some thought Obama was a sleeper Muslim terrorist out to destroy our country, but terrorists just aren’t that creative.

* The DHS has issued a warning about deep frying turkeys. Deep frying a whole turkey is pretty dangerous. I think it’s estimated that when you deep fry a turkey, you have about a one in three chance of burning down your house and maybe about a one in six chance of destroying everyone you love or care about. So well worth the risk if you’ve ever tasted it.

* Ominous news for Obama at Cafepress: Sales of anti-Obama merchandise outpace pro-Obama merchandise 79% to 21%. Also, sales of ebooks making fun of him are up a startling amount.

Maybe Obama just needs better merchandise. I know: The Official Obama 2012 Turkey Deep Fryer!

* Wisdom of the Day: “Just because I have a windowless van does not mean I’m a child predator. It’s just a horrible coincidence.” –senderblock23

* Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I have a lot to be thankful for lately, and am quite thankful for all the support of you loyal IMAO readers. You guys are the best!

* I put up my interview with Michael Medved in which I argue that Obama is a demigod with angry callers. Don’t miss it.

* Some cracks are starting to appear in Romney’s perfect veneer. Ends up as a teenager, he tried a cigarette and tasted beer. Dude was crazy. What he didn’t do as a teenager, though, was create a giant new government health care program with unconstitutional mandates. No teenager is that irresponsible.

* Michael Moore likened the UC Davis pepper spraying incident to Tiananmen Square and vowed to eat a whole roast pig in solidarity. It is pretty similar as in Tiananmen Square students were protesting for democracy and were threatened with tanks. At UC Davis, students were protesting — whatever it is OWS is about — and were threatened with an eye irritant.

In defense of the police at UC Davis, though, peaceful protesters are a lot easier to hit accurately with that stuff.

* Frank Rich tried to link JFK’s assassin — a guy who defected to the Soviet Union — to the right wing. Maybe the easiest thing for the left to do is declare violence to always be a right wing act so anyone who is ever violent is by definition right wing. Then we can call Bill Ayers Obama’s right wing friend.

* I have a solution for the super committee’s failure: We take all the Congressmen who don’t want to cut spending, seal them in metal boxes, and throw those boxes in the ocean. Actually, I don’t know if that solves anything; it just seems like a really good idea.

* Michelle Obama was booed at a NASCAR race. No update yet on her proud of America status.

* Some Democrat pollsters are saying that Obama should step aside and let Hillary run for president. Few Democrats want to come out and say what they know in their hearts: Obama just isn’t very good at being president. Would Hillary be a better president? We can’t say for certain, but she is someone other than Obama so there’s at least a 90% chance she would be.

* Wisdom of the Day: “Whenever I address Frank at home now, he won’t answer unless I call him ‘Bestselling Author Frank J. Fleming, sir.’ So it’s quiet.” –SarahK

* Well, my book has done really well. It’s still number one for political humor which hopefully I can hold for a while. Also, it’s got 29 reviews so far, all five star. And as an extra bonus, I’ve finally learned to be entertaining on the radio thanks to the help of Michael Medved. Instead of trying to be me but funny — which just doesn’t work — I just be someone ridiculous (such as someone who think Obama is a demigod) and argue that seriously. Anyway, hopefully I can get audio from my Medved appearance to put up (I was on for most of his second hour) or one of my other radio appearance (completely forgot to mention I was on the 55 KRC Morning Show in Cincinnati this morning; hopefully some people caught that).

Also, Scott Ott (bless you, Scrappleface) reviewed my book. He also has a book out which is now $0.99 for a Kindle download. I wouldn’t mind it also getting ahead of Bill Maher in the political humor charts as long as it stayed behind mine.

* The supercommittee was a complete failure at coming up with an agreement on spending cuts. Anyone surprised by that? No hands?

And what were they trying to accomplish anyway? $1.2 trillion in cuts in ten years? Hasn’t the deficit been increasing by more than that per year? Even if the supercommittee was a rousing success, we’re still only letting up on the gas a little on that car heading towards the spending cliff. At some point, we have to think of bailing from that car. Try to roll when you hit the ground.

Stephen Hawking says human survival depends on space exploration. Which got me thinking: Know what’s not deeply in debt? Mars. We can go live there.

* Nancy Pelosi says she’s going to do for child care what she did for health care. What’s it with liberals and threatening children.

“There’s only so many slots for government child care Timmy; I guess you’ll have to make your case to the death panel. We call it the ‘Happy Clown Panel’, but let’s be frank about what it is. So make a good case for yourself.”

* Business leaders could face jail time in Europe for claiming that water cures dehydration. I guess Science! hasn’t concluded that in a double blind study, so, you know, jail if you say it. And really, maybe this whole “all life needs water to live” urban legend was just cooked up by Aquafina.

Or maybe Europe is just too dumb to live. Hey, you can lead the EU to water, but you can’t make them conclude it’s necessary to drink after a multi-year study.

* The other day, Michael Moore wrote this on Twitter:

“What would you like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? Tweet your ideas!”

So here are some of my ideas:

– Self-awareness.
– A drum sphere.
– Replace electronic voting with twinkles/down twinkles.
– Fry and eat a chupacabra.
– Make 60s hippies look reasonable in comparison.
– Develop an exit strategy.
– Tar and feather the fattest member of the 1%.
– Learn to ask this question before starting a movement.

* Wisdom of the Day: “If OWS’ fabled ‘revolution’ ever comes, we have guns and they have bongos. I like our odds.” –Jon G.

* It’s more bad lipreading, this time with Ron Paul. Listen to him sound the sanest he’s ever been:

* New New York Post column! This one is on the absolute worst example of the wealthiest 1%: Uncle Sam.

If you want a good example of income inequality, compare him to your average billionaire.

* They finally broke up the Occupy Wall Street Obamaville in Zuccotti Park. They can still stay, but no more setting up tents and camping. So now they’ll have to live like regular homeless people instead of the fanciest 1% of homeless.

* Someone took at shot at the White House. Ends up he’s a crazy person, which makes sense as you’d have to be pretty crazy to think shooting the president helps things. If someone shot the president, wouldn’t that be the absolute worst thing ever to conservatives? I mean, I guess it would be pretty bad to Obama too, but it would be horrible for conservatives. As long as the guy had once visited FOXNews.com on his computer, they’d paint him as a right-winger and then the media would all be like, “See! Republicans couldn’t stand a black president being so awesome!” And, feeling so bad about Obama, we wouldn’t be in the mood to strike back. It would be awful. So don’t shoot the president!

* Obama told a bunch of CEOs that they’re “lazy”. Isn’t it awful how we’re always disappointing Obama? Unemployment would be 4% and the economy skyrocketing if we were all just better Americans who worked as hard as him. Maybe it’s unfair to keep him as president just so he can keep being disappointed in us.

* “Let’s have a seance this afternoon and ask al-Awlaki if he would’ve preferred waterboarding. I’m pretty sure I know the answer.” –Dennis Miller

* BTW, I still want you to buy my book. Have you bought it? Have you read it? Have you written a great review of it at Amazon or Barnes & Noble? If not, do so now! It is your duty, ronin! I’ve gotten close, but I still haven’t beaten Bill Maher’s book to become the number one political humor book on Amazon. I guess then I could set my sites on beating Kelly from the Office’s book and being the number one humor book, but, come on, she’s Kelly from the Office; that would just be insanely ambitious.

Buy my book!

Buy My Book!

BUY MY BOOK!

“Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything” is out now. There is no other news. Go buy it, download it, and read it. Right now!

Click on the image now and go buy it. Only $1.99!

If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download an app for your tablet PC or smart phone. Or you can just read it in browser off of Amazon. Or you can buy it in another format such as for Nook or iBooks (link to other formats here). There is no excuse. You have two dollars for it. Buy it now. If you need more convincing, here’s a little write up I did on why on wrote the book.

And if you enjoyed the book, go write an Amazon review. If you didn’t enjoy the book, keep that to yourself because the people most likely not to get my humor are pedophiles.

So go buy the book and read and tell me your favorite parts in the comments. And then tell everyone else to go buy it. I need to sell lots of copies so Buttercup can know her father is a big time author and finally respect him.

Her daddy needs money to buy her more hats.

So, what are you waiting for? Go buy, download, read, laugh! And tell everyone!

* My ebook drops (downloads?) tomorrow, so expect a lot of this.

I’m excited for people to finally get to read it. Are you excited? You should be excited.

* After watching that stunning defeat of Boise State on Saturday (at least with how bad our kickers have been this year, we expected him to miss that last second field goal), I was hit with even more bad news: There was another Republican debate. These things will just never end. This one was on foreign policy, so Cain just tried to fade into the background while Ron Paul put on his full crazy for all to see.

Winners: Romney, who always seems to know what he’s talking about even while being weasely. Also, Newt Gingrich because it’s just so much fun to see him lecture moderators. It would almost be worth nominating him just to see him talk down to Obama.

Well, only… fourteen more debates to go. Wow. By the end of this, I’m going to be almost as sick of seeing Romney on TV as I am Obama.

* Obama made it clear he disagreed with the Republican candidates on whether waterboarding is torture. He said, “I’ll incinerate an American citizen with a hellfire missile, but I draw the line at pouring water on the face of a known terrorist mastermind!”

* It’s official — the Supreme Court is going to hear appeals on Obamacare. Do we have individual liberty, or can the government force us to do and buy whatever it one day feels like because… Commerce Clause.

If the Supreme Court rules that the Commerce Clause is so expansive as to basically eradicate the entire purpose of the Constitution, I think I might riot. Who wants to riot? Nah, on second thought, I probably have work that day.

* Even though they’ve had their biggest stands in blue cities, everyone is just fed up with Occupy Wall Street groups, and thus police are in full hippy whomping mode, breaking up the occupations in Oakland and other places. I wouldn’t expect too many of the protesters to end up arrested; they’ll probably just be the 1%.

* Wisdom of the Day: “‘We are the 99 cents.’ — Wendy’s Value Menu” –Sean Thomason

* Man, I hope my book sells well. I want Buttercup to be able to look up at her father as a big time author. She really needs that since she already has enough disadvantages on account of us naming her “Buttercup”.

* Happy Veteran’s Day! And happy birthday to my brother, Joe foo’ the Marine. Funny how his birthday almost always lands on the same day as Veteran’s Day.

Anyway, thanks to all veterans who, by killing evil foreigners, allows me the cushy life of being able to earn money making fun of politics.

* A national poll still has Herman Cain on top with Newt Gingrich now tying Romney for second. Of course, a national poll means little since a few freak states are what actually determines who is ahead, but I’m still holding out hope for an upset. Every time all the pundits are all wrong, an angel gets its wings.

* Obama has yet again made another bold declaration of “Present!” Since the decision on whether to build the Keystone pipeline put him between environmentalists and union workers, he’s punted the issue until after the 2012 election. I thought this guy liked jobs and stuff? Oh wait, he likes his job and wants to do whatever he can to keep it, even if practically it makes him a useless coward. Hopefully, after November 2012, he’ll be able to make a decision on the pipeline with a clear head knowing he’ll only have the job for a couple more months.

* Leo Panetta is warning that sweeping military cuts would invite aggression. Does he mean from the enemy or from Republicans?

* Cain has apologized for calling Nancy Pelosi “Princess Nancy”. Pelosi’s actual title in the harpy hierarchy is “Grand Buzzard”.

* Now people are getting shot over Occupy Oakland. This whole movement started as some vague strike against Wall Street, and now it seems more like they’re trying to start the planet of the apes.

* Wisdom of the Day: “This 1% everyone keeps talking about are the critics who liked Jack and Jill, right?” –Cole Stratton

* BTW, I’ll be taking next week off from my day job. Part of that is because my aforementioned brother is visiting home on leave, and the other part is to leave me free to promote my book which comes out next Tuesday. So, still expect me to blog each day — and also probably have some radio appearances to announce.

Amazon has started ranking my book, and it’s already number 3 in political humor for the Kindle. Hopefully it can get past Bill Maher when it actually comes out.

* So a D.C. court upheld Obama’s health care law. The opinion was basically, “Yeah, it infringes on personal liberty but, eh, that happens.” Maybe we need to add something to the Constitution that emphasizes that individual liberty is important… like some sort of rights bill.

* A U.N agency says that Iran’s nuclear program raises “serious concerns.” Serious concerns about what? Oh yeah: Them nuking stuff. That is kind of serious. Of course, no one takes me seriously when I suggest nuking the moon. I can’t tell you how many classified Pentagon meetings I’ve been laughed out of. “Aren’t you just one of the caterers?” they always say. And they never compliment the muffins I made.

* Did you know there are elections on odd numbered years? I sure didn’t. Apparently there was some pro-union victory in Ohio. Why do we still have unions? I thought we traded in the concept of using corrupt union bosses to keep your jobs for the concept of just being good at your job. Should I be in a union? Have I been good at my job all this time to no purpose?

* A rugby players had a stroke and turned gay. So that’s a warning sign to look for. You may think if you’re having a stroke you’d be feeling miserable, but you may in fact instead feel fabulous.

* The federal government is going to test its emergency broadcast system today which will allow it to interrupt any broadcast with an annoying beep — so way better than getting your show interrupted for an Obama speech.

* I have a new New York Post column. In it, I show that the double standard in the media is actually because the media loves us and thinks little of liberals.

“If there is a whiff of scandal — no matter how flimsy the evidence — the media will work overtime to see if there is anything to the scandal, because the media expect perfection from conservatives. That’s how much they believe in them.”

Actually, I’m just kind of tired about all the whining about the double standard. We get it. It’s been going on for like forever. And we’ve been succeeding despite it.

Hey, look! There’s now a picture of me on the online version (my picture has been accompanying my column in the physical paper for a while). Now you can just look at me and know it’s going to be a super smart column before you even start reading it.

* Things aren’t looking good for Cain. We actually have some specifics now. I’m not sure if it’s anything illegal, but it’s creepy if true. And even if it isn’t true, it looks like the end of Cain-mentum as he just doesn’t have the scandal-handling skills. Politics is for politicians, unfortunately.

Anyway, we know we’re going to nominate Romney and we can’t stop that, but I’m still willing to pretend we can get someone else. All we have left are Perry, who has a good resume but sounds like a drunk idiot in the debates, and Newt Gingrich, who’s smart except for some glaring flubs and has some weird past of his own. Do you know how Newt asked to divorce his wife while she was dying of cancer? Of course you do… even though it didn’t actually happen.

Grr… I hate Romney, but maybe he can have a fun VP pick like McCain did. Yay fun VP pick!

* Even if it means Romney as president, it still will be awesome to see Obama kicked out of the White House, at least. Right now, his administration is on record opposing adding FDR’s prayer to the WWII memorial. Here’s what Obama said about that:

“Prayers are the leading cause of bitterness and clinginess, so I oppose them in all venues. Mmm… waffles.”

Well, I don’t know if he actually said that, but we can safely assume he did at some fundraiser where press wasn’t allowed. One with a waffle bar.

* So what has Occupy Wall Street been up to lately? They’ve been using children as human shields to block traffic. Not great, not great. They’ve had a lice outbreak. Also not optimal. But have they gotten any of their demands met… or figured out what those demands are? That does not appear to be so. But rest assure they’ll stay put until… something.

The whole “We’re the 99%” slogan does seem like a desperate reassurance they’re not fringe weirdos.

* There’s talk that Eric Holder may use the Fast and Furious hearing to push for gun control. Well, here’s my idea to reduce gun deaths: Let’s get rid of this administration and replace it with one that won’t sell gun to Mexican drug cartels. That’s so crazy it just might work!

* Crowder visits Occupy Wall Street. If you’ve always wanted to see Crowder argue for Communism to a bystander, here you go:

* My book, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything, will be out in one more week. Make sure you tell everyone about it. Everyone. And it’s only a $1.99, so no excuses will be accepted for not having bought it. Even if you don’t have a reader, you can read it on your computer screen or even in the in-browser reader Amazon offers. You are going to buy it on November 15th and then read it and then write a glowing review on every website that accepts them and then tell everyone you can find about it. That’s how it’s going to be, so just go ahead and keep November 15th clear.

* So what did Herman Cain do to sexually harass a woman? The accuser won’t tell us. She wants us to know it’s bad, but won’t tell us what exactly it was. Some are calling this a high-tech lynching, but it’s kind like a lynching where no one behind it knows how to tie a knot.

* Study shows we’re falling behind in science and engineering because getting those degrees is hard. Well, as someone who successfully got an engineering degree from one of the toughest schools out there — Carnegie Mellon University — I have this to say: Ha! The more of you who drop the degree, the less engineers there are in the workforce, and the more I get paid. So I have trouble seeing this as a problem. If anything, I want engineering to be harder to get into. Same thing for blogging and being a columnist.

* New Occupy Wall Street: Free food from McDonald’s. When someone had the gall to ask an Occupier to pay for his food, he threw a huge fit and started breaking things. Hey, that give me an idea for a great new mascot for OWS.

* John Hawkins has started a new website: Not Mitt Romney. I have no idea what it’s about.

* The Obama administration has denied that it has any knowledge of extraterrestrial life. Kind of weird they just suddenly came out and said that. Especially as an unknown object hurtles towards earth. And who was that guy standing behind Obama smoking a cigarette while the announcement was made?

Oh, it was just Mark Block.

* Here’s yet another accusation against Herman Cain for sexual harassment. This time it’s from Sunny and she does have details:

* Wisdom of the Day: “Several women now claim Herman Cain exposed himself, raped them and had oral sex with an intern … oh, sorry, that’s Bill Clinton.” –Ann Coulter

* There’s a new web comic out from the artist behind Axe Cop: Bearmaggedon. This time, Ethan Nicole is writing it himself instead of farming out that job to a five-year-old. From the title image, it looks like it’s still going to be full of awesomeness. It’s already posed a great question: Who would win in a fight between a gorilla and a grizzly bear? I tried that on SarahK, and it’s quite a stumper. I kind of want to give the edge to the bear since it has sharp claws, though.

Also, I wish someone would actually make the game that appears on this page. Man, it would relieve so much stress to be able to beat up all of nature.

Anyway, new page comes out every Wednesday and Friday. Check it out and support the arts.