Rick

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Rick.

What’s the story behind your name? What can I say but that it’s the name Karl Rove assigned me when I was born. I just noticed recently that there is another Rick on here, so I will be changing my name to Raving Lunatic. How do I come by that? Because my raving lunatic ways. They keep the crazies away. Or maybe it’s the guns…
Where do you live? Goldsboro, NC. Home of Seymour-Johnson Air Force Base and the freakin’ awesome F-15E Strike Eagle
How old are you? A psychotic 38. Some days I feel like I’m 11, others I feel like a salty old codger who’s discovered young punks on his grass.
Tell us briefly about yourself. NC Native. Former musician. Private Pilot. NRA Life Member. Math Wizard. God’s gift to Structural Steel Estimating. Super Stud (okay, I made that up). Brief enough?
Name a situation in which you’d expect someone to exclaim, “This looks like a job for Aquaman!” I dunno, I’ve never been that drunk.
How long have you been reading IMAO? About 5 months (thank Michelle Malkin). I came over once before, a little over a year ago, read a couple of posts, and said “This crap is stupid.” It must have been an off day for us both!
[We don’t do smart crap. -Ed.]
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Know thy Enemy and In My World are pretty dang good
What’s you favorite political issue? Isn’t that sort of like asking which limb you enjoy having amputated? I care most about 2nd Amendment rights, National Security, and reducing that monstrosity we call the Mafia… oops, I mean the Federal Government. Illegal immigration ranks up there, too.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yuppers, I’m one them there amateur bloggers. It’s at 360.yahoo.com/rwoolard69 and it’s called the Bodega of Babble. Of particular interest to you Frank, in all your worthy ninja worship, would be the entry Baby Ninja Strikes. The blog mostly consists of me being a smartass about politics and vainly attempting to be funny, plus political cartoons. And the occasional raving lunatic rant.
Do you think IMAO is balanced enough in its opinions, or is it too balanced? I think it’s a little too balanced. We here at the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy are beginning to think you aren’t a real right winger. As per the recent Republican fundraising letter I received, “We’re beginning to doubt your credentials.” You’re beginning to sound an awful lot like a monkey-faced liberal, and quite frankly, we’re tired of it. Get it together, son!

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

ChrisA

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s ChrisA.

What’s the story behind your name? I was originally posting as Chris, but then another Chris started posting, so I decided to copy FrankJ and use my last initial. I’m not very clever at inventing nicknames for myself.
Where do you live? Winnebago, MN. And yes… we have a Dairy Queen here… not much else, though. My wife and I moved up here a year ago from Phoenix. You can shoot guns out on the farms! All I have to do now is finally get my own gun.
How old are you? 27
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m married, work in a factory, go to church as a part-time aspiring Catholic. My hobbies are BBQing, playing with power tools, and making fun of hippies. I’m also looking at going to school to become an engineer.
Humor is fascist. Explain. I would’ve almost said it wasn’t. But, maybe it is in the sense that it causes you to laugh uncontrollably, have difficulty breathing. After having experienced real humor, you’d have even more trouble being able to tolerate hate-filled lefties. So could it be fascist for having forced a change?
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’ve been reading for a few years now. I’m not sure how I found it anymore, but it made me laugh.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? In My World has been a favorite along with some of the Don’t Be a Hate-Filled Lefty. Fabulous Facts of John Edwards have been fun, too.
What’s you favorite political issue? I like anything that exposes corrupt politicians or debunks the mainstream media. Crushing the immigration bill has been a real ‘power to the people’ moment.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have a dorky blog at http://bitofterrific.blogspot.com/ I don’t post very often, and it’s usually about food when I do.
What would you do with a million pesos? I would ask my wife for a quarter, then I’d combine it with the million pesos and go to Burger King to get a value meal. Or, I could convert it all into Canadian money and be one of the richest people there!

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

GEBIV

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s GEBIV.

What’s the story behind your name? It’s my initials… plus my number. I’m the 4th GEB.
Where do you live? Just outside of Buffalo, NY. And no. It doesn’t snow here year-round.
How old are you? 33. But I’ll be turning 35 about 2 weeks before the next Presidential election. If Fred Thompson doesn’t throw his hat in the ring, I’ll give some serious thought to running, myself.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m not tall. I’m single. (Coincidence?)
When people compliment me for this hilarious things Harvey wrote, is okay I take credit? I’d be careful about that. I’m pretty sure he knows where you live, and has a working understanding of radioactive materials.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Long time. I think, since about when the whole Puppy Blender thing started.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Hard to pick a real favorite, although some of the “In My World” episodes have made me laugh so hard I saw spots.
What’s you favorite political issue? Global Warming. And it really is political, more than scientific.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I’ve had There’s One, Only! for a while. It used to have lots of humorous stuff about politics and Evil Glenn, back when I was posting stuff for The Alliance roundups. But lately, it’s been mostly rants.
If you could ask one questions at a Republican presidential debate, what would it be? “Are you going to stand up to Congress and the MSM, and represent Conservative ideals after you’re elected, or are you going to stab us in the back like a RINO?” -or- “Boxer’s or briefs?” It’s a toss-up.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Wacky Hermit

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Wacky Hermit.

What’s the story behind your name? I don’t get out much, I just stay in with my kids a lot of the time, and it makes me kinda wacky. There’s a bit of a Coleridge poem on my blog’s sidebar about a hermit who loves to meet travelers. Mostly I just like to meet people who aren’t hanging from the chandelier, demanding snacks, or sticking Legos down their pants. It makes a nice change.
Where do you live? I live in Tooele (pronounced too-WILL-uh), one of Utah’s many rural towns, about half an hour’s drive from Salt Lake City. It is a very boring hick town where the best shopping is at Wal-Mart.
How old are you? I have a brother. 22 years ago, he was half my age. Our combined age now is 62. You do the math.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I am married with four children; two have Asperger’s Syndrome (a kind of autism) and two have multiple food allergies. My husband works for a very nice software company. I have an M.S. in mathematics and I am a part-time adjunct professor. I like all sorts of geeky things. My laptop has Linux. I can make my own cheese. I’ve done about half the things on Lazarus Long’s list already. And any minute now, I’m going to die of exhaustion. 🙂
What do you recommend should be government policy on monkeys? Monkeys should be trained to operate graphing calculators so that high school students can be relieved of that responsibility and get on with learning some real mathematics.
How long have you been reading IMAO? A few years; I can’t keep track of time anymore. I had to get out a pencil and paper just to figure out how old I am now!
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I love the editorials, Know Thy Enemy, and In My World. Anything by Harvey is good for a laugh too.
What’s you favorite political issue? Education. I can rant on and on about education (particularly math education) until somebody yanks the soapbox out from under me, or until my baby starts flinging his poo, whichever comes first. Usually it’s the poo.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have a blog, Organic Baby Farm (http://organicbabyfarm.blogspot.com), which I update every whenever-the-hell-I-get-a-minute-to-have-a-stray-thought-and-write-it-down.
I also sell my fabulous needlework and tie-dyed baby onesies at http://curiousworkmanship.etsy.com .
If you could ask one question at a Democratic debate, what would it be? “When is it over?” I really have no interest in listening to pie-in-the-sky weasel-talk. I’ve already had to replace the needle in my bull$#!^ detector several times during college. It’s a pain in the butt and I don’t have time to do it again.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

hwy93

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s hwy93.

What’s the story behind your name? Hwy93 is the main street of Liberty.
Where do you live? Liberty, South Carolina. Not sure what the population is but the whole town can fit in the high school football stadium.
How old are you? Just turned 43.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Recently remarried, just celebrated our 2 month anniversary. It was both of our second time around. She had three boys and a girl and I had three girls and a boy, so now we have four of each. Only six are still at home but four of them are teenagers. Fun Fact: Our Moms set us up. So naturally I had to stalk her before our first date to make sure she wasn’t heinous. You do NOT want to trust your mom’s opinion on whether or not a girl is hot.
Why do you think liberals’ faces resemble those of monkeys? My theory is that it’s due to the amount of time liberals spend looking at the monkeys on the evolutionary ladder one rung above them.
How long have you been reading IMAO? approx 4 to 5 years.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? “SuperEgo” and “In My World.” SuperEgo would make a great movie.
What’s you favorite political issue? Since Lindsey Grahmnasty is my senator it’s illegal Immigration the GWOT and getting rid of Lindsey Graham.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I’ve toyed with the idea, but I’m really just too lazy.
If you had flying battle armor like Iron Man, how awesome would that be? It would be the most awesome ever! I would however have a bottle opener and a sound system installed. That way when I wasn’t doing pointlessly vicious things to bad people like terrorists or Lindsey Graham, everyone would want me to come to their parties.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Bob in Feenicks

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Bob in Feenicks.

What’s the story behind your name? My name is Robert but most people call me Bob. The city where I live sounds like “Feenicks”. I spell it phonetically to be different, and to confuse any monkeys who might be out to get me. The monkey threat, which I learned of from IMAO, is the reason I prefer my location to remain undisclosed.
Where do you live? Oshkosh. (weren’t you paying attention to the answer to the previous question?)
How old are you? 39.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I was born in Queens, NY and my family moved to Pho…I mean, Oshkosh when I was 13. I’m a civil engineer and I am still single. I’m also Catholic, and a member of the Knights of
Columbus. If you’re familiar with the KofC, you know about the first four degrees, but I’m also a member of the secret fifth degree, which is the militant wing. It’s our duty to behead all who insult our Religion of Peace, because Jesus, the benevolent, forgiving and merciful wants us to. Jesus Ackbar! (I have a sword too, but it’s really dull, so it hurts more)
If you couldn’t nuke the moon, what other celestial body would you want to nuke? If possible, I’d launch Michael Moore into orbit and nuke him. He’s big enough to be mistaken for a moon.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’ve been reading IMAO for a long time. I was around for IMAO’s first blogiversary and the Great Blog War. Although, it was a while before I posted my first comment.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I really enjoy In My Worlds. I’m amazed you were able to get a bug in the Oval Office, and that the Secret Service hasn’t found it yet.
What’s you favorite political issue? Whatever crazy, wacky antics the left is up to in which their actions blatantly contradict their words, such as ‘supporting our troops’ or creating ‘the most ethical congress ever’. It makes it so much easier to mock them. And fun.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. No, I refuse to have anything to do with the internet because AlGore invented it.
-Oh wait a minute.
If you could wish one politician away to the cornfield, who would it be? Just about the entire democratic party, but if it’s only one, it would be…John McCain. Mavericks like corn, right?

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FormerHostage

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s FormerHostage.

What’s the story behind your name (didn’t I have a post on that?)? Iran, November 4, 1979. Google it.
Where do you live? Second townhouse from the left.
How old are you? I forget and it’s hard for people to guess my age because I have the body of a 20 year old (and he’s gonna be real pissed when he sees what I’ve done to it!)
Tell us briefly about yourself. Born in a small town. Joined “The Suck” to get away. Re-enlisted twice, got accepted to a commissioning program. Retired as a Captain. Conservative but not rabidly so. If you have different views, that’s cool just don’t bother me with your sillyass ideas. I’m a math wiz, a programming demi-god, and a damn fine woodworker…I made all my son’s furniture in his room along with several bookcases and end tables. My wife once bought a pair of brushed silver star shaped door knobs and told me to “build something for them!” The result was a “ship locker” style armoire for my son.
Iran: Is it as fun as it looks? Only through a bomb sight.
How long have you been reading IMAO? A few years. If you need a more specific date you’ll have to contact NSA and get a FISA warrant.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? The “Know Thy Enemy” posts tickle me.
What’s you favorite political issue? Killin’ territz.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. whitehouse.com…no…wait!
Have you ever fantasized about being a Scanner (i.e ., able to make people’s heads explode by staring at them)? Ahem…I was a Marine Mustang (prior enlisted commissioned officer), that’s one of the tests you have to pass before you get your bars! Actually, I was on active duty when I got my degree through the commissioning program so I had to wear my USMC uniform all the time along with the appropriate “war face.” When my future wife told a friend that she was dating me, he remarked, “Oh. He’s the one that always goes around looking like he’s ready to kill someone.”
No, my fantasy is to be able to become invisible. Then I could sneak onto the stage at the Democrat debates and eek some nasty poots and see if anyone would say anything.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

NMUSpidey

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s NMUSpidey.

What’s the story behind your name? I earned my BA at Northern Michigan University and I like Spider-Man.
Where do you live? Currently, Toledo, OH. But in less than 5 days, Osaka, Japan.
How old are you? More than 25, less than 27.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Well, I am engaged to a ninja, I will be teaching English in Japan, and I love comic books.
What’s the most suspicious thing you’ve ever seen a monkey do? Wear The Man’s big yellow hat.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Something like 5 years, maybe? 4? They all run together, you know.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I really like “IMAO Condensed.” But I also like “Know Thy Enemy” and anything that is like “Fun Facts About.”
What’s you favorite political issue? Hm. I would say shrinking the government. They should be worried about bombing small countries filled with sand while we worry about our lunches.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have started a couple blogs, but I’m horribly unmotivated and find myself never updating. EVER. Also, a myspace page. Just try and guess the address!

Who would win in a fight between Aquaman and Spider-Man? What if it were underwater? While it is possible that Aquaman could summon flying fish to throw at Spider-Man, the reality is that he would probably see the black spider on the red and blue costume (or the big white spider on the black costume: my favorite) and run screaming in terror, John Edwards style. Underwater, the costume may just be obscured by the water and lack of light to allow Aquaman a few quick punches before he trips over himself and Lex Luthor and the Legion of Doom capture him and Spider-Man has to come to the rescue.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

AlanABQ

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s AlanABQ

What’s the story behind your name? The story behind my name is trivial, at best. ABQ is just a freight abbreviation for Albuquerque; I used to do a lot of loading dock work here in North Mexico, before I realized that it was a job that Americans don’t want to do…
Where do you live? I think the previous answer pretty much summed that up.
How old are you? I am chronologically 36 years old, but mentally I shift between a 13 year old & a 70 year old with Alzheimer’s.
Tell us briefly about yourself.I used to be a stagehand & got to work on a lot of really cool stuff, but due to some really bad experiences with day care providers, I now stay at home during the day with my two little gifts from God. I love to read, play guitar, spend time with my beautiful fiance, hang out with our children & drink copious amounts of coffee.
What’s the most exotic thing you ever punched?The most exotic thing I ever punched was a hole in a crowd of antiwar protesters in ’03 at the university where I worked at the time. And I almost got arrested for it!
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’ve been an IMAO fan for a mere year & a half, but I have enjoyed every day of it.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? One in particular I found hilarious was under “I Hate Frank”, titled ‘Eating Habits in the Ghetto’ where you responded to an especially vulgar email. Other than that, it varies from IMW to random daily posts.
What’s you favorite political issue? Illegal immigration. Bill Richardson for president. This country could do without either one and be a better place for it.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have a MySpace page, but let’s face it; MySpace sucks. Anyway, myspace.com/AlanABQ
What would you do with an army of ninjas? What wouldn’t I do with them? They’d be good for yardwork, slicing pizzas, getting to the front of the line at the DMV, rounding up liberals & “guest workers”, etc.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Dr. Phat Tony

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Dr. Phat Tony.

What’s the story behind your name? Stupid army nickname. My army buddies and I were sitting my room watching the Simpson (the episode that Bart was a bartender for the mob) and since my last name shortened is Tony they all thought that having someone named Phat Tony would be cool. I’m sure that it was Fat at one time but the name was modified after people saw the caliber of women I dated. I added the Dr. in front after some weirdo in your comment section (here) claimed to have a doctorate in some miniscule scope of science to give his wacko ideas more weight.
Where do you live? I live in North Alabama. About 6 hour drive from Spacemonkey land.
How old are you? 29
Tell us briefly about yourself. Just a guy who joined the Army as an infantryman and got lucky enough to serve as a long range surveillance soldier. I had to go all the way to Germany and be stationed there to meet my Polish wife.
Exactly how phat are you? It depends on how cold the water is.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’ve been reading IMAO since 2003. Had seen an ad for your Know thy enemy t-shirts and looked you up.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I really loved the IMAO Podcasts. Whatever happened to those things? I bet it’s Spacemonkeys fault, or the token Jooooooo.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Who doesn’t have a blog now days? http://drphattonys.blogspot.com/ My archives are probably much better than my current stuff, Lately it’s just been a left hand writing blog. I broke my first bone on Sunday and did this whole interview with my left hand. All that lefty stuff and I still don’t want National Healthcare.
Ever wish you had claws like Wolverine? I always thought Beyonder was the coolest Marvel character. I’m all about being omnipotent.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Laura

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Laura.

What’s the story behind your name? According to my father, my mother wouldn’t let him name me “Shithead”. I know it’s vulgar, but it’s the truth.
Where do you live? Craphole (AKA Spokane), WA.
How old are you? 25. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I was birthed by a jackal and raised by a troll. After 12 years of preliminary education, I decided to follow my lifelong goal…To take over the World, and eat pancakes galore!
Ever killed a chipmunk? Ever wanted to? Unfortunately, no. Although, I heard they splatter when you hit ’em with a .50 cal.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’m a “new” subscriber. Only four short months of readership.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? lolterizt, and any of the “In My World” posts.
What’s you favorite political issue? Illegal Immigration, gun rights, local/national/international terrorism. Oh, and Fred Thompson.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes I do. It’s my vile little hole of spite and cookies on the intraweb. http://conservativedreaddie.blogspot.com
If you could shoot a powerful beam out your eyes, do you think you could find the spare time to fight evil? Only if evil is defined as Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, John Edwards, Barack Obama, and anyone with the last name of “Clinton”.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

ussjimmycarter

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s ussjimmycarter.

What’s the story behind your name? I like the irony of an attack US nuclear submarine named after a dufus like Jimmy Carter who I loathe.
Where do you live? Mound, MN which is a suburb of Minneapolis in occupied territory of
the People’s Republic of Minnesota.
How old are you? 54
Tell us briefly about yourself. I didn’t do very well in college (Party Time) so I became an IT
guy. I am a Program Manager by trade. I married my high school girlfriend and I ride motorcycles.
Do you know thine enemy? Hippies, Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid and Al Franken who will probably get elected as our next Senator here in Minnesota (sigh).
How long have you been reading IMAO? 3 years, it’s my favorite blog since I discovered it!
What’s your favorite IMAO post? In My World! They are the best!
What’s you favorite political issue? Right now it’s Republican stupid! When I watch the Democrats and what they have to offer it’s truly amazing that the Republicans ever lose to these guys on any issue in any election in any state period!
Do you have a website? No!
Why are there wars? We’ve spent a lot of money on our military and how much fun would it be if they never got to kick someone’s ass?

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Jonag

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Jonag.

What’s the story behind your name? Total inspiration. My first name is Jona (pronounced “John-uh”) and my last name starts with G. [Still more clever than “Frank J.” -Ed.]
Where do you live? I live in Gilbert, Arizona (about 20 minutes from Phoenix). We’ve been her 12 years and really hated it the first 5 years but now realise it’s a great place to raise kids so we’re staying put. One day I will meet Bob in Feenicks and DesertElephant for a beer in Tempe (whilst wearing our Nuke the Moon shirts) and much hippie bashing will ensue.
How old are you? 42
Tell us briefly about yourself. I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. I have been happily married to Joey for 20 years and we have been blessed with 5 brilliant Rabid Reagan Republicans in the making. I have been homeschooling for over 11 years (including 3 hours of Rush Limbaugh 5 times a week, except when he talks naughty and we have to turn the radio off. I don’t want to hear “Mommy, what’s a Gorbasm?” just yet.)
I engage in a little bit of capitalism from my home which supports my sewing addiction and coffee habit.
How much do you hate hippies? A hippie once told my mom to go eff herself. Unfortunately for him he did it in front of my dad and sisters. They seriously effed him up. I wish I had been there.
Portland was once a beautiful town but the hippies have ruined it’s beauty and reputation (and odor). Another reason we’re not moving back.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I have been a FrankJ fan since the letter to Michael Moore of April 2003 (although it seems like forever really)
What’s your favorite IMAO post? My most favoritest post ever is this one: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2003/08/in-my-world-the-duke-versus-stalin/ The IMW: The Duke vs Stalin. Everybody should go read it. (oh, and #20 on this one: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2004/04/the-imao-t-shirt-babe-candidates/)
What’s you favorite political issue? It’s a toss-up between the war on terror and border security. I’m concerned that the flood of illegals will undo all my well laid (no pun intended) plans to destroy the democrat party by outbreeding them. I’ve already produced enough voters to undo all of my liberal sister’s family’s votes and still have 3 conservative votes left! Everyone should be doing their part.
Do you have a website? Not yet. When I get one it will be a pretty periwinkle color.
Do you ever wish you could control fire with your mind? Only when I’m flying over San Francisco.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Motopolitico

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Motopolitico.

What’s the story behind your name? Motopolitico is an amalgam of what I thought my blog would be about when I established by Blogger account way back when. Moto= Motorcycles. I like motorcycles. Let me be more specific. I like good, practical motorcycles, not those chrome plated toys ridden by lawyers and doctors on weekends. Politico= politics. I studied Political Science and History at the University of Vermont, which was pretty much like someone who smokes opium progressing to heroin, at least for me. Lots of monkey-faced liberals on that campus. Ward Churchill received a hero’s welcome when he spoke on campus.
Where do you live? For the instant, I am living in Louisville, Kentucky attending The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I am in the process of relocating back to the Peoples’ Republic of Burlington, VT, the city that gave a voice to Bernie Sanders. I’m gonna miss this red state.
How old are you? I will be 28 next month.
Tell us briefly about yourself. My mother immigrated LEGALLY from Canada, and has now been naturalized. That makes me a dual citizen. I went through the phase of pretending to be Canadian when I lived in the UK for a year, but living there really made me appreciate life here in the United States. I repented of my sins and believed in Jesus Christ at the age of 22, a few weeks after 9/11. At the University of Vermont, I brought a 100 dB air horn to a “2 minutes of silence for peace” protest, and worse. This was before I had heard of Protest Warriors. Another interesting fact about me is that during the mandatory Race and Culture class at the University of Vermont, I quit attending, went into the exams assuming white male heterosexuals are the scum of the earth, and got a B+. I think every conservative should attend a liberal college. It helps to make you strong, and also weeds out the RINOs. Oh, and I’d like to take the chance to personally apologize for the fact that I voted for Jim Jeffords in 2000. Truly, at the time I thought he was much better than the alternative.
Do you think punching can be a constitutionally protected form of expression? Yes, but it should be well-regulated, so that it is limited so that only monkey-faced liberals are the target. Monkey-faced liberals should be permitted to punch each other. We should do all we can to promote monkey-face on monkey-face violence. Thank you Cindy Sheehan, DU, and the Kos kids for helping to make my dream a reality.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I’d say since at least 2003. Back before it was uncool to post a comment FIRST!
What’s your favorite IMAO post? The one during the Terry Schiavo incident when it was suggested that we should allow folks in Africa to starve and dehydrate to death. It was a good mix of dark humor, an amazing point, and a serious issue.
What’s you favorite political issue? That one is a trick question. What I get most fired up about are my least favorite political issues. Lately, I’ve been thinking we need to get rid of open primaries and go back to the smoke filled room. That would make conventions far more interesting! I am socially conservative, so I strongly support pro-life and anti- gay marriage initiatives. I also think the resurrection of the “fairness” doctrine is going to be the next major political battleground.
Do you have a website? Having a blogger account these days is an awful lot like having an aol account used to be. It makes me the target of derision. But it is free, and allows me to blog as a hobby. My blog is located at http://motopolitico2.blogspot.com and uses a bog-standard blogger template. It is almost never “moto” since I sold my motorcycle before coming to seminary, nor is it especially “politico” anymore. It is really a seminary blog, where I post some of my better papers for classes and comment on the theological issues of today. A lot like a theological version of the Puppy Blender, only I don’t say “heh”. I hosted (and censored) the Carnival of Comedy once. My blog is usually not intentionally funny, although stay tuned for a piece of satire I am still carefully crafting.
The latest outrage on which I’ve done anything approaching groundbreaking is a prominent Southern Baptist pastor who, the week of the Southern Baptist Convention in San Antonio promoted his website where he sells complete sermon manuscripts in .pdf format for pastors to preach word-for-word for five dollars. He doesn’t believe that to be encouraging plagiarism. You can read the incredible details here. I’ve bought the domain name seminarian.us, and if I can get my act together, I might actually get it off the ground as a legitimate seminary blog, complete with podcast interviews of any theologian I can get my hands on, about current theological issues. This blog would also have google ads to fill my empty pockets. I don’t know if I can approach the awesomeness of the whatever Number One prize pack, when it comes to scamming fund raising potential.
If you could control the creatures of the sea with your mind, what would you do? I would command the dolphins to go back in time and rescue that young woman from the waters of Chappaquiddick so she could be prosecution witness #1, and Ted Kennedy would be living off the taxpayers in an entirely different way. He would share his cell with Bubba.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Shimauma and Moonbunny

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Shimauma and her daughter Moonbunny.

What’s the story behind your name? Well, my comic company that I’d started with my friends as a fifth grader was nameless. I, being the only one to notice this, came up with Moonbunny comics co. like ‘Marvel’ and ‘DC comics’ and it’s based on the ancient belief that there’s a bunny in the moon. I didn’t use it as an online name until my mother started doing so on IMAO. Shimauma adds: It’s also to do with Watership Down stories of Elhahara. That’s how we got the name for Moonbunny’s little sis, Hlaoroo.

Where do you live? I wanted to say Mordor, Middle Earth, but my mom says we live in a crappy blue state as ussjimmycarter can vouch for.
How old are you? Mom says I’m not allowed to tell…she’s really old though…and hits really hard.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m an observer/witness in the subtle (not) dramas of some highschool buddies, teetering on the edge of insanity, gaming, drawing, hitting things with sticks and writing …………..BALLOON!!!! Shimauma adds: She’s got a little sister and a cool dad that passed on all his gaming knowledge with the same reverence of a Mafia boss handing over the family dynasty.
Is your kung fu strong? My mom says no, she uses deodorant, but so far I’ve mastered the Katana, Wakizashi, Streetfighting, Archery, and I know how to shoot a gun and hit the target thingy.
How long have you been reading IMAO? ?__? Can’t ‘member, but Mom says she found it about 3-4 years ago when she was looking up mean things to say about Michael Moore.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? In My World because of Chomps eating hippies, and Rummy strangling hippies and Dubya’s being funny and beating up of that Reid guy. Mom likes Frank Art because it reminds her of stickfigure theater on something called liquid television.
What’s you favorite political issue? Lemon……
shimauma butting in: per the answer of a smart alecky teen, Socialized(government run) Education is a sore spot with me; give me a voucher for a charter school of my choice any day
Do you have a website? If so, briefly tell us about it. Shimauma answers: Our webpage is www.moonbunnyscomics.blogspot.com and was initially meant to just feature Moonbunny’s Zombie Squirrel comics, but I’ve been known to highjack it to post my right wing views or just to put up something silly, though I’m certain the comics have silly covered pretty good. Back to Moonbunny.
If you had Superman’s heat vision, how often would you use it? A lot. Heatafied vision is fun.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!