B4B

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s B4B.

What’s the story behind your name? It derives from a screen name ( Bonkers4Boobies) I used on an old (and crappy) game / chat site. As you can probably guess, it has nothing to do with aquatic birds found in the Galapagos Islands.
Where do you live? I live in Plainville, Connecticut. It’s a small town and the name is befitting. Here on the “right coast” we are awash in liberal based political correctness, but at least we make Nu-cler submarines.
How old are you? Old. So very old. I just turned 41. My bones aren’t even good for soup.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Nothing extraordinary. I’m married ( 20 years), have 3 kids. The lil one (7 yo ) we call The Camminator. My two oldest are “Bart and Lisa Simpson”. “Lisa” at 14 is a gifted young lady entering high school while “Bart” nearing 19 has matured into a selfless young man who will be entering basic training this October. All signs point to him being “over there” at this time next year after he completes his M.P. and K-9 training. God speed son. I work in Physical Therapy. The wife works for some french store .. Target I think.
What’s your favorite Bush nickname the left uses (e.g., “Chimperor”)? I don’t have a favorite. But I do enjoy the fact that the libs still can’t agree on whether he’s simply a bumbling idiot, or an evil dictator bent on world domination through planetary destruction.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Just a few months.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I admit that I do enjoy reading the Daily John Edwards Fabulous Facts, or anything pertaining to firearms ( I love my Para Ord P-12 .45 , got rid of my Walther PPK/S because the slide on that little bastard likes to attempt spontaneous amputation of my thumb due to the high thumb position I use… no such problem with my Glock 26 and zero malfunctions after 3k rounds makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.) My problem is that I don’t frequent the site enough, so by the time I read anything it’s near archive material and posting seems pointless. I was the last to post on, “Just Something I’ve Noticed” 8/12 , the list of liberal propaganda code words …. just seconds later it went to archive.
What’s you favorite political issue? Always the 2nd Amendment, but lately it has to be all of this self-important, nonsensical rambling about “global warming”. Key fact here… sometimes the earth gets warmer, and sometimes the earth gets cooler. This has been going on since the dawn of creation, and will continue until the evil USA blows it all to hell. Get a life people. I’ll sit patiently waiting for the “global cooling” hysteria thank you.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. No.
If you could shoot powerful beams out your eyes, how often do you think you could actually find a use for that? I honestly can’t think of any situation that wouldn’t call for it’s use…. from simplifying meal prep, un-clogging a drain, reducing lines at the DMV, would also be a big hit a children’s parties I’m sure…. It would be the closest we mortals could get to being Fred Thompson.

If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

JamesT

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s JamesT.

What’s the story behind your name? Well. My first name is James. And my middle name starts with a “T.” The “T” stands for “Thaddeus”, a proud and stately name that comes with a mint. Of course, according to my parents, I was almost named either “Rasputin” or “Osgood.” If that had happened, I prob would have wound up a serial killer from the repeated playground beatings from my peers.
Where do you live? Overland Park, Kansas. And contrary to rich effette poo-flinging monkey faced liberals from Mission Hills there is nothing the matter with Kansas. We are doing just fine, so piss off you Mission Hills snob.
How old are you? I quote Chiun, Master of Sinanju, “For a plum, I am old beyond my time, for a mountain, I have not begun my years, for a man, I am just right.”
Tell us briefly about yourself. Well. I live in Kansas. I am a lawyer for a mid-sized engineering firm. I came to Kansas to go to college and pretty much stayed. I, am, of course, a gun owner, a TV fanatic, avid video game player, reader of all things sci-fi and have a Barry Goldwater figure on my desk. Despite all this, I am married, and even have a daughter who turned two over the holiday weekend. I plan on raising her to be The Ultimate Living Weapon, and at 18 unleash her upon an unsuspecting world as my vengeance. My wife is provisionally on board with this plan, as the alternative is the raising of an army composed of my clones. We have three cats. All are mean. Two live indoors, and the one that is a whirling dervish of white hot feline rage and fury lives in outside where she attacks our neighbors pugs on a regular basis. One consistently craps on my shoes. I think there is a message there. I am your typical neo-libertarian leaning Kansan who thinks Sam Brownback needs to shut up and get back to work and put down the dream pipe.
What do you think was made first: The can, or the can opener? Support your argument. Thats an easy one. The can opener. Rocks, tree branches, jawbones of your slain enemies have been around much longer then cans. The can opener just made it easier to eat the contents out of the can, rather then licking the spatter off the walls.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since, I dunno, 2002? 2003? Long time. I first started when I had a state job and had lots of free time as a result.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Anything with Buck The Marine. My brother is a Marine, and he kinda talks, and acts on occasion, like Buck. Which makes the Buck segments all teh funnyer as I imagine my brother saying those lines. A close second are the In My World Posts. Those at times have been so funny, I have cried. Which sounds kinda wussy, but they were tears of mirth, and it is far more manly then peeing my pants from laughter.
What’s you favorite political issue? Eminent domain. I view this as an assault on the basic and most important underpinnings of a free society, the ownership of property. If you own property at the sufferance of the government, then you are no longer free. This has been a long held issue for me. I almost married a girl from law school because of her views on Hawaii Housing Authority v. Midkiff (1984) (well, ok, all I did was try to sleep with her, and thus creating among my law school peers the “Hawaii Housing Authority Dating Standard”) and started a near riot in my Constitutional Law class advocating armed resistance in Wickard v. Filburn, (1942) and calling FDR a “big fat socialist stooge.” Of course, after that only members of the Federalist Society would talk to me anymore.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. A website? Nope not me. Mainly because I am really, really lazy. And because I have no website, that allows me to criticize the websites of those who do with impunity and authority.
Who do you think would win in a fight between a ninja and a Shaolin monk? According to the documentary, “Ninja vs Shaolin”, the Shaolin monk would win. Of course, this does not take into account a ninja who was Lee Van Cleeff. In either case, Chiun could kick both they asses.

If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Estella

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Estella.

What’s the story behind your name? Some of my friends said I was a modern-day version of Estella, from Great Expectations. I’m not exactly known for my empathy, I suppose. Thus, “Modern Day Estella”
Where do you live? Just a small town in central Louisiana … but I’m one of those Katrina exiles from New Orleans. Most of my family moved back, but I opted out of living in a coastal bowl. Instead, I chose a nice little town where gentlemen carry your groceries to the car for you, and almost everyone has a gun rack and a hunting dog.
How old are you? 25
Tell us briefly about yourself. Wellllll, I’m a lawyer, and a former competitive rock-climber … fiscally conservative but socially libertarian … and a die-hard metalhead. I’ve played in several bands you’ve never heard of, and are probably glad not to have heard of.
For my 25th birthday, I got myself a s&w model 640 .357, and it’s my baby. My boyfriend’s dad is an instructor at the range, and I love going with him to shoot. There’s little better than bonding over revolvers!
I’m a member of the Federalist Society. I’ve read the Federalist Papers in their entirety several times.
And I want to start a movement to bring fun, excessively violent games back to P.E. in grammar schools. Life without dodgeball, melting candles freeze tag, tackle kickball, medic, and Death Soccer simply isn’t worth living. Do we really want the upcoming generation to be total wimps and hippies?
When I draw liberals, I always imagine them wearing pointy hats. Why is that? It takes a pointy hat to cover a pointy head I’d assume said pointy hat is made of tinfoil?
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since sometime around early 2005
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I love “In My World” and anything with Aquaman. Especially Aquaman having a bad day. And I like any about guns.
What’s you favorite political issue? Political corruption, specifically politicians who claim to be in it for the “little man” getting caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar. I also get pretty passionate about constitutional law debates. I’ve been involved in some Second Amendment cases.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Nope, I don’t have a website. I’m somewhat of a luddite. My computer is a glorified typewriter with spotty internet access.
Where have all the flowers gone? Wherever they are, hopefully the so-called “flower children” will follow them, and never ever come back. Damn hippies. We need to come up with a way to use hippie-stench as a renewable energy source if they won’t simply disappear of their own accord. Nah, it can be a non-renewable energy source. Like the human goo from The Matrix … or Soylent Green! Yeah! A new use for the Green Party!

If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Pork & Beans

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Pork & Beans.

What’s the story behind your name? I wrote a practice on vernacular for my writing instructor in college that had to do with eating pork & beans. She loved it and most everything else that I wrote. I signed all my homework with that name. At the end of the term she suggested I read Twain’s and Patrick McMannus’ books; she said they have that “pork & beans” flavor. Kinda stuck.
Where do you live? I live on a wide spot in the road in rural western Oregon called Kings Valley.
How old are you? 51, but I feel older most times.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I grew up in the area where I live. I worked as a logger for many years (that’s why I hate those filthy stinkin’ hippies!). After my body started to break down, I worked for a major printer manufacturer as a technician for 11 years. Now I’m laid-off and looking for work. My wife and I breed Siberian Huskies and that helps a little.
Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Aquaman if the fight were underwater (remember that Wolverine can’t breathe underwater)? Also, Wolverine’s claws are broken, he’s hung over, and he put his mask on backwards. Who would win? I can’t breathe underwater, don’t have claws, I’m extremely hung over, put my pants on backwards, and even I could probably kick Aquaman’s butt. Wolverine, hands down!
How long have you been reading IMAO? Three or four years I think.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I have to say “Frank the Artist” is my favorite. You are an artistic and comic genius! I love Newsish Fakery (my photoshop work was posted there once).” There was a post by Lawrence Simon about your’s and his trip to the Olive Garden that was great. And, anything by Harvey.
What’s you favorite political issue? It’s all so maddening, but too important to ignore. The things democrats do to win just boils my blood. My state is “vote by mail.” My mail carrier is a stinkin’ hippie with Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers on her old Volvo station wagon. Our county (Benton) voted for socialized medicine when this blue state voted it down by 70%. I’m sure my ballot hasn’t been counted since 2000.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes I have two. One is for our dog breeding business(it was built using MS Publisher so it needs to be viewed in IE) and the other is a blog I just started. I aspire to write like Patrick McMannus and thought I’d start writing funny stories about growing up here along with other things that come to mind. It’s pretty lame and only has one real post on it, but it’s a true story (I’ll embellish later). http://skipnrocks.blogspot.com. Be kind!
How would you protect the borders? Personally, I’d have the oil companies build several refineries in Mexico first. Then I’d launch a full scale invasion on Latin America and conquer everything to the Columbian border. Panama would be broken into two states separated by the canal. The state of South Panama would become our largest military base. Our Southern border would be less then one hundred miles and a ten mile strip to the north would be firing range for all weaponry. Otherwise, I’d utilize S.M.I.T.E or the Mexi-Cannon.

If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Hebert

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Hebert.

What’s the story behind your name? My parents named me Hebert. It’s from the Bible.
Where do you live? Tacoma, Washington.
How old are you? 22 years old
Tell us briefly about yourself. I have a hilarious job (well…the disconnect between what I imagined my job would be when I was a kid and the job I ended up with is hilarious) that pays much more than I’m worth because I have a degree from an expensive school which I couldn’t afford. The system works!
I don’t think I like you. Why is that? There are lots of possible reasons. You might resent the fact that I’m funnier than you. And smarter. And that I’m better looking than you and that my girlfriend is prettier than your wife. Or, you may just resent my malignant narcissism.
However, if any of those are the reasons, then an additional reason would be that you’re crazy, because most of those aren’t even remotely true.
Maybe the reason you don’t think you like me is that you just don’t think about me at all. Which is fine. Nobody else does either.
Whatever the reason, should I assume that you do think you don’t like me? (Gets out pen and list of names…) Just curious…
How long have you been reading IMAO? Umm…two years, I think.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I like Frank the Artist. Also, whenever the crazy monkey posts (not spacemonkey, the dumb monkey.)
[Not spacemonkey? -Ed.]
What’s you favorite political issue? Imperialism! For fun and profit! Like this:
“Everything looks good from here… Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive.”
( Stegosaurus) “We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… ‘This Land’.”
(T-Rex) “I think we should call it…your grave!”
(Stegosaurus) “Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
(T-Rex) “Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh…now die!”
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes, I have a myspace page that I put together in High School. At least, I think I do, but I can’t find it.
If you could fire liberals out of a cannon, what would fire them at? Uhhhh….Helen Hunt, maybe. Or the Bahamas. Probably the Bahamas.

If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

George guy

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s George guy.

What’s the story behind your name? I was named George after my grandfather, and I’m a guy.
Where do you live? State College, Pennsylvania. It’s basically the armpit of Penn State
University.
How old are you? 21.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m an artist for the most part, even though I didn’t get through art
school. I blame the evil socialist public school system for squelching my ambition. I was going to get into animation, but it was really hard, so until I can try again I’m cleaning houses.
If you were to condense IMAO into one word, what would it be? Plausible.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Close to 3 years, I think.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? This one: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2004/08/in-my-world-opening-old-wounds/. I think it’s the
first really funny one I read.
What’s you favorite political issue? Education, if that can be called a political issue. I rather like the idea of having kids some day and it’s rather depressing to see all the crap going on in the schools these days. I don’t think education should be a political issue. The fact that politicians have a say in what goes on with schools is itself a problem.
If education doesn’t count, I’d go with federalism. Keeping government localized is a good way to keep the liberals and their insane policies contained before we get to the point where we can seize power and punch them all in their dumb monkey faces.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. http://thinginess.comicgenesis.com It’s a sort of surreal serial adventure comic strip. Among other things, it has environmentalists getting slaughtered. I should have another page up by the end of the month.
The bomb will go off in three more seconds. Red wire, black wire, blue wire, green wire: Which do you cut? I’d rule out the blue one because that’s nobody’s favorite color except for the UN, and they don’t use bombs so much as stern condemnations. Red’s the favorite color of communists, but they’re all environmental now and bombs make too much carbon dioxide, contributing to global warming. Green would be out too in that case except that it’s also the Muslims’ favorite color, so I’m inclined to go with green. They could just as easily choose black, but I don’t think they’d want to be associated with emo punk kids, as that lifestyle is a form of devil worship invented by the Jews and Americans in the 19th century, so they say.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Patriot Xeno

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Patriot Xeno.

What’s the story behind your name? Nothing exciting. I adopted (stole from Orson Scott Card) Xenocide as my name for Counter Strike, which was shortened to Xeno, and added the Patriot when I started blogging just because it sounded cool. I’m pretty sure Grim suggested it – I probably was thinking something like “Xeno the Impaler” or something.
Where do you live? Just a small town in northern Indiana that nobody’s ever heard of. 2 stoplights – it’s fantastic. If I could live there the rest of my life I would.
How old are you? 26.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Just your typical ultra conservative Christian Marine nerd. I shoot guns, despise hippies and wish Batman was real.
If you saw a monkey faced liberal but had your hands tied behind your back, what would you do? Well not bite him, that’s for sure. There’s no telling where he’s been.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since late ’04 – Grim emailed me one of your articles saying “dude, this guy is you, only funny”
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Probably this one “https://www.imao.us/index.php/2005/03/in-my-world-the-dark-cloud-of-glorious-reality/ “, but there are some other great In My Worlds, and I’m pretty partial to Know Thy Enemy and the Aquaman bits.
What’s you favorite political issue? Tough call, with all the big ones out there I get fired up about, but I’d have to with either taxation (it’s out of control) or the ridiculous regulations they keep imposing on legitimate businesses ( i.e. no smoking in restaurants, no trans fat, osha, etc)
Are you aware that Batman is by far the greatest superhero? Yes.

Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes, rhog.blogspot.com. It’s pretty awesome – we went to war with China a while back and totally thrashed them because they banned our site (but no more!) My buddy from college (Citizen Grim) started it with me a couple years back, largely influenced by IMAO. We used to post a lot more but we’ve gotten a lot busier. Which is ok, since I will never again write anything as good as my older stuff – especially the eHarmony saga.
You met my brother at Marine OCS; is he as dumb as he looks? He’s good people, I’d have no qualms about him watching my back.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

brandEn

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s brandEn.

What’s the story behind your name? It is my name. Just with an emphasis on the part that people misspell. I hate it when people misspell my name.
Where do you live? Coral Springs, Florida (but I’m currently in Orlando for college).
How old are you? 19.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m a 2nd year computer engineering student at the University of Central Florida (go Knights!). Sometimes I like to pretend I can take really good pictures. I don’t show them to many people, so my bubble never gets popped. Other times, I like to pretend I’m a superhero. I’m very complex.
I think the moon has been getting closer lately. Does this trouble you? Yes. It means the man in the moon is finally exacting his revenge on the peoples of Earth. God save us if he unleashes his zombie/android/pirate monkeys (he’s had a lot of time to combine things). The only good that’ll come of this is that nuking the moon should become even more popular.
How long have you been reading IMAO? For about 3 years.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Any that talk about Aquaman getting his butt handed to him by something mundane.
What’s you favorite political issue? Affirmative Action. It’s really easy to taunt it’s supporters. Them: “We support Affirmative Action” Me: “Why? Do you think minorities aren’t good enough to get jobs on their own? RACIST!” And then I laugh and punch them in their dumb monkey faces.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. No, I’m not cool enough.
[Few are. -Ed.]
If space aliens land in D.C., should we wait to listen to their message of peace or should we kill them immediately? We let them live, but make them replace the current Congress (anything would be an improvement). We, of course, could still hold the threat of death above them to make them perform more to our liking.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Andrew

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Andrew.

What’s the story behind your name? One day I was walking along and was blinded by a brilliant flash of light. As I stumbled around in a blind stupor I heard a booming voice declaring, “I am Fred Thompson. From this day forward you will work toward advancing my political goals under the name Andrew. No go forth and punch liberals in their dumb monkey faces.” Oh, and that’s also the name on my birth certificate.
Where do you live? Scottsbluff, Nebraska
How old are you? 18
Tell us briefly about yourself. I am a freshman at the University of Nebraska majoring in broadcasting and political science with plans to become a sportscaster. I’m also very proud to say that I have a number of family members who have served in the military, including a cousin who will begin his second tour in Iraq beginning sometime around November.
What do you think made John Edwards such a little sissy? My theory is that when he was young he was taunted constantly for having a name very similar to that of known scam artist Jonathan Edward and was regularly beaten up for his lunch money by Rosie O’Donnell
How long have you been reading IMAO? About three or four years. I first became interested in the sight when I saw the Fun Facts About The French t-shirt on Thoseshirts.com and loved it.
What’s your favorite IMAO post?
There are so many, but I’ll have to say Know Thy Enemy, Fred Thompson Facts, and IMAO Condensed are my favorites.
What’s you favorite political issue? I’m not sure I really have a favorite, but the one I talk about the most is winning in Iraq, which in a sane world wouldn’t be political at all it would be common sense. Other than that, I’m a big fan of anything that leaves liberals in a sputtering rage.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. www.andrewexmachina.blogspot.com Basically I post about whatever is going on in my life that I feel the need to write about or that annoys me. I try to post regularly every Friday and whenever I have something to talk about during the week. As much as I wish I could take credit for the clever Latin title that makes me sound smart, I must confess I ripped it off from the Dennis ex Machina segments that Dennis Miller sometimes does on his radio show.
You are being attacked by zombies. Which weapon do you choose: shotgun or flamethrower? A shotgun that uses flaming shells. That way I can have the best of both worlds when killing zombies. However the most effective way is still to tell Fred Thompson the zombies want to raise his taxes.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

G Fresh

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s G Fresh.

What’s the story behind your name? This bar I used to hang out at all the time back home in Indiana had one of those 25 cent touch screen gaming systems, or as I liked to call it, “The Crack Machine”. I had a huge Crystal Balls rivalry with a friend of mine who worked at the bar. Whenever you got one of the top 3 scores you got to put your name on the high scorers list. Unfortunately, there were only 7 characters allowed so rather than trying to do a personalized license plate version of my full name, my friend suggested that I use G Fresh because I am the whitest and un-hip-hoppiest person ever. It just kind of stuck. I actually have friends in real life who call me G Fresh pretty much exclusively.
Where do you live? Nashville, TN
How old are you? I just turned 30 on 07/07/07. It’s not too late to send me presents. Hookers and blow or Frank J’s book are always a good way to go.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m 30 years old, single and childless which I suspect makes my parents think I’m either gay, which I’m not, or that I’m just retarded when it comes to relationships, which is a distinct possibility. I’m a singer/songwriter who shamelessly plugs himself constantly (and not in the weird, creepy John Edwards kind of way, but more along the lines of www.myspace.com/matthewgates ) and I like beer…and waffles.
What’s worse: A monkey or a liberal? Whew, that’s a tough one, but I think I’m gonna have to go with a liberal on this one. The intelligence level is about the same between the two, but liberals tend to have an adult human digestive tract which produces far more poo for flinging than a monkey’s.
How long have you been reading IMAO? A couple of years I think. I “Stumbled” on it one glorious, life-changing day and finally found a place where I could freely express my (until then) hidden desire to nuke the moon.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I’m a big fan of Frank the Artist as well as In My World.
What’s you favorite political issue? Currently it’s illegal immigration and the always popular Global War On Terror.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I’ve got the obligatory musician’s Myspace which I plugged earlier, but I’ve also got a youtube site with some of my musical performance videos at www.youtube.com/mattygfresh.
What would you rather have: A star destroyer or a death star? I think having a death star would be a little bit scary because that would mean that the moon could in fact nuke you. I’m gonna have to go with the star destroyer. The mere thought of the carbon footprint I could create by flying that thing around makes my giblets go all-a-tingle. It’s like the ultimate SUV!

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

CCHEMuse

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s CCHEMuse.

What’s the story behind your name? I wish I had some mystical reasoning behind my choice of handle….in actuality it’s my old blog alias & it defines who I am: Conservative, Catholic, Home Educating, Muse. Yes, “Muse” – as in GODDESS!! Okay – not really goddess — just “Muse” because I ramble about nothing in particular from time to time, but in my own private world it all makes sense….have I ever told you I think the guy that invented the Pringle’s canister was a genius?!
Where do you live? Well, in the old Beetle Bailey comics, they called it Camp Swampy, but we call it Fort Stewart, GA….pretty area, about an hour west of Savannah where Paula Deen makes a mean pot pie!!
How old are you? Ouch…..according to the calendar, I’m just starting to squint towards 40……but according to the way I feel, I’m easily 92…..
Tell us briefly about yourself. Well, I’m a proud, Proud, PROUD ARMY wife of a deployed soldier who is serving again in the sandbox over there…..I’m also momma to four — 1 college double major (Culinary / Psychology – not sure HOW that happened!), 1 USMarine, and two cute blondes – 1 just started high school & the other just started fifth grade….hmmmm – maybe the calendar is right….we’ve also got a shepherd (Yo Adrian), a lab (Zoe), and a psychotic cat (Peyton) to round out the brood……..Okay – if I tell you the rest, you still have to let me play here, alright…..I’m a vegan, I do believe in Roswell, and I don’t believe we ever walked on the moon — other than that, I’m perfectly conservative!!
Name one use for a liberal. Gosh – only ONE?? Ummm…..target practice readily pops to mind…..or IED shield……either way works – oh – only one – yeah – target practice for sure…
How long have you been reading IMAO? Actually, GW (that’s my hubby – yes, his name is GW, yes, the rest is the same too, and yes, we’re actually related….) found you guys about 2 years ago while searching for conservative t-shirts, but I didn’t start reading faithfully until he deployed, so, about a year……
What’s your favorite IMAO post? That’s a tough one….I love the IMAO Condensed series….Harvey‘s the bomb…..and the Fred Thompson facts are a riot…….but honestly, I think I’m most looking forward to the Ronin Profiles when I tune in each day now — it’s kindda nice to see the ‘real people side’ of the world renown IMAO blog – you’ve got your own cult following…I might start selling ‘IMAO Groupie’ t-shirts or something….

What’s you favorite political issue? Right now it’s a toss up between the War on Terror and Illegal Immigration…..I still think we should flatten everything that doesn’t say USA and say to hell with it…..
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Website, no — blog that drones on & on about nothing, YES! Nothing much of any real interest to anyone other than my soldier – it’s the way I kept him linked to the girls….but now he can only access it from certain areas within that place with the airport, so – yeah – just a bunch of ‘what matters most to me’ stuff! But, if you’re so inclined, be my guest! http://peytonsmom.blogspot.com/
Do you think flamethrowers should be used by the U.S. military again? While I won’t answer that directly, I will say that I think the Geneva Conventions & the Law of Armed Conflict are a little too restrictive – what’s the point when WE’RE the only ones upholding the standard…..and in some of the close arms combat we’ve seen recently, I can see where the revival of the flamethrower idea has merit….Gives a whole new meaning to ‘fight fire with fire!’ Plus our guys can roast marshmallows in their down time!

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Da Coyote

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Da Coyote.

What’s the story behind your name? I joined a group trying to keep Space Above and Beyond on the air many years ago. The group was organized as a fighter squadron that had a canine theme. I selected Coyote (sort of doggish) and soon after the show was canceled. I kind of liked the nickname, rather fitting for me if you’ve ever seen a Road Runner cartoon, and so I began to use it as my online alias other places. But Coyote was, more often than not, already taken. As was “The Coyote”. So I threw a “Da” in front of it. That makes it different enough that it is usually not already taken. So now in many corners of the net I’m known as ‘Da Coyote’
Where do you live? Beaverton, Oregon
How old are you? 34 years and change.
Tell us briefly about yourself. 34, married, one kid, employed, in debt up to my hairline (which is receding), concealed handgun permit bearer, gun owner, voter, and though such titles are too vague to properly describe the range of issues involved you might call me a ‘Libertarian Federalist’. Maybe it’s just easier if I say that I haven’t read anything from Thomas Sowell that wasn’t right on the money.
Trolls: Do they make comments more or less entertaining? Depends on if it’s a Ron Paul supporter or not.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Off and on for about 1 1/2 years.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I’d have to go with the Fred Thompson Facts.
What’s you favorite political issue? Not a ‘favorite’, but I’m most passionate about the right to bear arms. Federalism is a close second, but I truly believe that the day the government goes for the guns is the day America, and the world in general, will fall into a new dark age.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I have a ‘space’ with the MSN network that comes with my net access called “Blatant Plagiarism with a smile” but I’ve never got around to putting anything there. One of these days perhaps I will post a tome of wisdom there for the betterment of humanity. Probably not though.
If you had enough strength to throw someone across a room, how often do you think you would do that? I do have enough strength to throw someone across the room- but my two-year-old hasn’t quite eroded my sanity that far yet.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Katablog

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Katablog.

What’s the story behind your name? It starts with Katsuey, which was a word my hubby invented to describe what he was threatening to turn one of my cats into (It involved Chinese food). I took the name as an Internet nick and from there came katsuey.com, a free legal research site, my web site design business, katsueydesignworks.com and finally my blog katablog.com.
Where do you live? Someplace no one has ever heard of : Lansing, KS
How old are you? Older than dirt, but not quite as messy when I get wet.
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m an Accountant turned Paralegal turned Website Developer. I guess I have a problem making up my mind, but I’m not sure about that.
Do you believe that trees are evil? Only certain trees. Like the ones that give off that cotton fluff and of course all trees that provide refuge to illegal immigrating squirrels.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Probably about 1 year.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I love the John Edwards fabulous facts and I enjoy reading the reader profiles. Many of the take-offs you do on current news stories are really funny but because the world is so screwy I sometimes can’t figure out which part is true and which is fiction.
What’s you favorite political issue? Hmmm, favorite? I’m not sure about that, but illegal aliens (now called immigrants by MSM and NutRoots) really gets my blood pressure boiling along with learning just how my tax money is being spent this year.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Katablog.com is written through the eyes of my very politically savvy kat, Cowkitty. He’s too lazy to actually write it so I end up having to pen his thoughts.
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? More appropriate of a question would be, what wouldn’t I do for a
Klondike Bar.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Dick

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Dick.

What’s the story behind your name? I was involved in a rather nasty argument a few years back with a crazed, tree-hugging, liberal broad. In the midst of the furor, she stopped what she was doing, then began to scream out that I was nothing but a big dick.
I thanked her for the beautiful idea, smiled pleasantly, and walked away.
Where do you live? Dallas, Texas, where I was born and raised. Sorry, no habla. Should I?
How old are you? Somewhere around seven in dog years. What about yourself?
Tell us briefly about yourself. I’m one of the growing number of people who’ve met the love of their life through blogging and I couldn’t imagine a life without her.
I freely admit that I was a Liberal when I was young. Fortunately, by the age of six, I learned to read and write, resulting in my political leanings changing dramatically.
I spent six years in the US Army Infantry, leaving as a Buck Sergeant. Most of my time in the service was spent far down South or in Europe. My drink of choice is Cuervo Black tequila straight, three fingers at a time. I was spit at, and called a baby killer back when it was fashionable.
My first novel is going to press as I type.
What is it about terrorists that makes us love to kill them? What’s not to love? Every time a terrorist is toasted by one of our guys, Rosy gains another pound. Other than that, it has to be the crunchy sound they make when they go.
How long have you been reading IMAO? A couple or three years now, but that all depends on how much I’ve had to drink.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Me? I enjoy your quick quotes. The Fred Thompson and John Edwards facts are usually priceless. Notice I said usually. Sometimes you drop a turd, but I pretty much let those slide.
[Hey; no one bats a thousand. -Ed.]
What’s you favorite political issue? Anytime Charles Rangel screws up and opens his pie hole. That gravy sucking bottom dweller cracks me up with the ludicrous crap he spews.
Also, I’m one of the few who wouldn’t mind a civil war, but only if we could get the geographical boundaries sorted out.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. http://bigdicksplace.blogspot.com/
It’s small in comparison to this joint with only 800-1000 readers a day, but I have fun with it. My Fattie Fridays are not for the weak of heart.
How do you cheer yourself up on a rainy day? It’s the middle of August. I’m in Texas. We’re begging for rain.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Devil_Dog

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Devil_Dog.

What’s the story behind your name? It’s a nickname for United States Marines– of which I am one. It comes from WW-I when the German officers said the American Marines fought like “Teufel-hunden,” which were the vicious, wild, and ferocious mountain dogs of Bavarian folklore.
Where do you live? Currently in Reno, Nevada (from Colorado, though).
How old are you? Forty-three… chronologically, that is.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Retired from USMC. Currently working in national nuclear security, teaching all manner of death-dealing (armed and unarmed fighting skills). All “free” time spent with family and writing my novels.
Do you think ninjas are underused in foreign policy? There is no way to overstate just how underused they are in foreign policy! Imagine the instant respect (and cold, stark fear) from the world if Condoleezza Rice had appointed a ninja to a high-level diplomatic post… instead of Cal Ripkin Jr. Now THERE’S a press conference for you!
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since 2003.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Hands down, “In My World: Career Day”: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2003/04/in-my-world-career-day/ – You’ve never written anything funnier than that one!
What’s you favorite political issue? Probably national defense, since nothing else matters unless we’re safe from the bad guys.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. For two years, I posted on Right Equals Might (www.rightequalsmight.com). I just put that site on hiatus in order to concentrate on my books. Just published one about Guardian Angels called “Guardian Dear” (here’s the trailer for it: http://youtube.com/watch?v=j8ckPtJwz28 – and the web site for it: http://www.guardiandear.com/ ), and I’m finishing another on a completely different subject.
BTW, you would like “Guardian Dear,” since it deals with lots of violence (swords galore!) and the Book of Tobit figures prominently in it. Non-Catholics will like it, too… maybe just not as much.
What kind of person do you imagine dislikes IMAO? Probably the standard, prototypical, drooling, dumb, monkey-faced drone who sacrificed a sense of humor for “speaking truth to power.”
Also probably werewolves… what with the whole moon thing and all.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!