Dear Shabby:

I am an Ivy League robotic Democrat soy-milk-drinking man-bun-combing tattooed vegan skinny-jeans-wearing self-proclaimed pusscake who goes biking every night and to bed sipping Bud Light out of a wine glass while reading the New York Times in red plaid pajamas by organic-beeswax candlelight to save Mother Gaia. How can you help me attract a desirable mate? All the ones I’ve met so far are f***ing dogs.

Signed,

Lonesome in Bunny Slippers in Bed-Sty (the good section)

I once had a British co-worker.

She said that England had gradually sort of adopted the idea of Halloween from America (probably with the encouragement of “sweets” companies).

This discussion took place many years ago, but the gist was that it was not a tradition when she was little and growing up, but gradually it seeped into the culture over there, and now it’s just seen as a fun night out, analogous to Guy Fawkes Day. Or Guy Fawkes Night. Doesn’t matter.

I think that Halloween and Thanksgiving are enviable contributions of America to the rest of the civilized world. But Canadian Thanksgiving is a thing, too. Someone should Google which came first. I’ll wait.

Biden bites three babies at White House Halloween party
Daily Mail | October 30, 2024 | Emily Goodin

President Joe Biden bizarrely bit three babies as he greeted the children of staff to his final Halloween party at the White House.

“Oh, MAGOOF! You’ve done it again!”

They spelled “Oppovision” wrong.

Hmm. You have to show ID to view this, but not to vote.

Two redheads? Could be trouble.

Vest-wearing giant rats could be smugglers’ worst nightmare
New Atlas  | October 30, 2024 | Michael Franco

Most of us are familiar with the vest-clad beagle that hunts for illegal fruits and plants in the travelers’ luggage at airports. Now, a species of giant pouched rat has been trained to fulfill a similar role in finding illegal wildlife products.

The rodents who underwent the training are African giant pouched rats and, despite their somewhat terrifying name, really only grow to be about 750 mm (about 2.5 ft) long from the tip of the nose to the end of the tail, with the tail taking up about half that length. While that’s indeed big for a rat, it makes the animal small enough that it could wander among tightly packed crates in shipping containers to combat illegally smuggled products.

i.e., a message delivered via a crypt:

And just the other day, a speaker at his rally called Puerto Rico a ‘floating island of garbage.’ Well, let me tell you something. I don’t — I — I don’t know the Puerto Rican that — that I know — or a Puerto Rico, where I’m fr- — in my home state of Delaware, they’re good, decent, honorable people. The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters — his — his demonization of Latinos is unconscionable, and it’s un-American.

Challenges Women’s Volleyball Team

*?*

Now you know how I feel reading the news these days.

Astronauts on the ISS are braced for an urgent evacuation – as NASA uncovers 50 ‘areas of concern’ including leaks and cracks on the 25-year-old space station
Daily Mail | 28 October 2024 | Wiliam Hunter

NASA’s astronauts aboard the International Space Station have been told to prepare for an urgent evacuation amid growing safety concerns.

The US space agency and its Russian counterpart, Roscomos, are tracking 50 ‘areas of concern’ related to a growing leak aboard the station.

NASA is now calling the cracks in a Russian service module a ‘top safety risk’ – escalating the threat rating to five out of five.

Astronauts have been warned to stay in the American section when the module is open so they can be close to their spacecraft in case of an emergency evacuation.

Although officials have been aware of the issue since 2019, the exact source of the leak is still unknown.

Concerns over the station’s safety are now so high that NASA has negotiated with Roscomos to only open the hatch when absolutely necessary and to keep it sealed in the evenings.

…

NASA is now tracking 50 ‘areas of concern’ related to a leak in the Russian Zvezda Service Module Transfer Tunnel (labelled) which sprung a leak in 2019

…

The air leak is located in the Russian Zvezda Service Module Transfer Tunnel which was installed in 2000 and is used to house life support equipment and to access a Russian cargo dock.

In 2019 it was noted that the module had begun to leak a small amount of air through an unidentified crack.

However, despite efforts to seal the module, the amount of air escaping the station has only increased over the last five years.

In February this year, NASA was forced to hold a press conference on the issue as the amount of air escaping temporarily increased from 0.2 lbs per day (0.09 kg) to 2.4 lbs (1.08 kg) per day.

Just as an academic exercise, guys — you know, for back-of-the-envelope stuff — could we find out how many pounds of air we have aboard? With the two extra unplanned passengers, I mean.