Saudi Arabia has released a travel guide for its citizens so to avoid culture clashes with tips like don’t sexually harass women and don’t invite children to your house over the internet. Here are further tips:
TIPS FOR SAUDI ARABIANS TRAVELING ABROAD
* If possible, try not to look like the villain from a Disney movie.
* People are often aware there are Jews around them, so there is no reason to point at each one and scream, “Joooooo!”
* No one is impressed by a Fat Albert impression anymore.
* Remember: What might be considered normal conversation back in Saudi Arabia could be taken as the speech of a deranged serial killer abroad.
* The big bowls of water in the restrooms are not for drinking.
* iPhones are not magical totems worth killing for and can in fact be purchased at many stores.
* The common way of getting the attention of women in Saudi Arabia is called “flashing” in other countries and is discouraged.
* When visiting another person’s home, it is impolite to eat his cat.
* The high-pitched sound coming out of women’s mouths is called “speaking,” and this is allowed in many countries.
* Claims of vast magical powers are more likely to get derision than fear.
* Not every time you eat pie is it a contest as to who finishes first.
* Chasing squirrels while shouting “Infidel!” usually gains awkward stares despite it being great exercise.
* Even if you’ve grown tired of one of your children, don’t smother him in public.
* No matter how impressed you are by the shiny buildings, don’t try climbing them.
* In general, try not to be so creepy.