Top 10 Reasons Obama Claimed Executive Privilege Instead of Releasing the Fast and Furious Documents
(A Guest-Post by Jimmy [High Praise! He said he couldn’t write funny stuff except in comments, so I challenged him to write a Top 10 List)
If you’re like me (even though you’re not), you’re probably still wondering just WHY our President would hide behind Executive Privilege in this Fast and Furious mess. Because of my advanced, multi-disciplined years, I have some special, wise, Irish insight into this – plus, Harvey threatened to excommunicate me from the Brotherhood of Moon Nukering Bacon Eaters if I didn’t try! (Edited w/suggestions from Harvey.)
#10: The Occupy Wall Street protesters will stand by his decision!
#9: The only White House copy machine blew-up. When they tried to fix it, it burnt-up, including the original documents.
#8: Hillary Clinton is involved and the order came down from The First Black President.
#7: Our national image is at stake. Releasing the documents would implicate Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton in unnatural acts.
#6: BO peed on them on the Oval Office floor forcing the President to euthanize him on the White House grill. Pee stains need removing.
#5: Too many invasive species who vote were sent up from Mexico in return for weapons. Let’s get our priorities straight, okay?
#4: The White House garden is infested with tics from China and they’re biting the children. Executive Privilege – for the children!
#3: Michelle has a tic bite on her mouth and now would not be a good time.
#2: Eric Holder started crying at a Cabinet meeting and they ran out of tissues. Now the documents are too tear-stained to read.
and the number one reason Obama claimed Executive Privilege is:
#1: He actually WANTS to hear an answer to the question, “What did the President know, and when did he know it?” since he’s also been wondering that since taking office.
See? I knew he could do it.
Ok, now everybody chime in and make Jimmy feel bad by leaving the obvious ones that he missed in the comments.