So what happens after the election? Well, if Mitt Romney is elected, then Obama will have effectively been fired. He’ll be given two weeks notice and told to pack up his stuff. If he dawdles at all, he’ll be tasered and dragged from the premises. And with Michelle Obama gone, candy dishes will once again be put out in the various rooms of the White House and the place will become flooded with fat kids. And then Romney will move in and they’ll teach him how to input his kill list into the predator drones. And then business will start creating jobs as they were waiting for Obama to leave as they didn’t want him to take credit.
If Obama is reelected, though, he’ll declare himself to be the first president ever reelected and thus the greatest president ever. The media won’t fact check him on this. Then he’ll celebrate by eating Bo as there is nothing anyone can do about him now. Next he’ll announce his new agenda items and go straight to whining about how the Republicans won’t pass them all. And he’ll get all tuckered out and curl up in a ball and go to sleep, preparing for a long day of golfing and whining which will be most of his next four years. And Biden will play with a kaleidoscope, pausing occasionally to laugh and clap.
So there you go; that’s what to expect. But you can still act surprised when it all happens if you want. Best way to do that is to open your mouth wide and suck in a bunch of air really quick. Give it a try. Ooh! You looked surprised!