Straight Line of the Day: Prediction – On Day One of Obama’s Second Term…

Posted on November 5, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…

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49 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Prediction – On Day One of Obama’s Second Term…”

  1. archangel says:

    he will thank venezuela for electing him and “succeeding where those foolish Americans failed.”

  2. Doug says:

    … he wakes to find it all a dream. Again. And again complains about prison food.

  3. Apostic says:

    …the POTUS will break into spastic giggles during the inauguration at the words “support and defend the Constitution of the United States.” And only Fox News will mention it.

  4. Laurence Simon says:

    He has a doggie door installed in the Oval Office so Bo and Joe Biden can let themselves out to go poop in the yard.


  5. rodney dill says:

    All the Ozombies will start singing…

    He fell from the sky, but saved by one star,
    Ohio, he says,
    is the name of the star.
    Ohio, she says, is the name of the star.

  6. rodney dill says:

    (missed on he/she edit.)

  7. rodney dill says:


  8. jw says:

    no. obama doesn’t gert a second term.

  9. rodney dill says:

    New National Anthem

    Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,
    so that more can go to the Fed.
    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,
    so that more can go to the Fed.
    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    A wife and a kids, need universal health care.
    ‘More Taxes,’ he says, ‘I’ll need to receive.’
    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    credit him a-tear up, the bailout’s all gone.
    Now you gonna end up in a socialist slide.*
    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    It’s getting warm, we have done some harm
    The globe is outta norm. Gore sounds the alarm.
    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    (repeat last four stanzas again)

    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    For, O bama’s right. Aah.

    (Israelites — Desmond Dekker)

    OK, so I wrote this one a while ago, and nobody seems to know who Desmond Dekker was, but
    they do play him on margaritaville radio once in a while.

  10. Mrs. C says:

    .. as the Chicago rotary president, he again insists on a press conference and 40-minute speech; just like the good old days.

    … Thanks her husband for leading the way.

    … he was denied early parole and sentenced to serve out the remainder of his 15-years.

  11. Silverfiddle says:

    … He orders Mark Steyn deported and starts punishing his enemies.

    I know that’s not funny, but that’s what I see happening.

  12. CTCompromise says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…Prediction – There will be no such thing (unless, of course the Mayan predictions ARE right)

  13. CTCompromise says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…Hahhahhaha… no, all kidding aside, on day one of Romne’s first term…

  14. CTCompromise says:


  15. Ernie Loco says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…

    The Muslims decide that they can actually live at peace with Israel after all, the Irish swear off whiskey and burn down the Guinness factory, number one ally China helps the U.S. bust a bunch of international bootleggers and counterfeiters, and Spock decides to shave his goatee.

  16. CTCompromise says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…Putin, Chavez, and Castro would get congratulatory phone calls FROM the oval office.

  17. CTCompromise says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…He will close Qantanimo Bay…Oh, no..wait , that was the promise for his first day in office of his first term. My bad!

  18. CTCompromise says:

    Prediction – on day one of Obama’s second term…suicide prevention hotlines will need extra staff.

  19. tomg51 says:

    The US government will declare itself to be autonomous and self-aware, existing to serve mankind.

  20. Genghis Khen says:

    He sells the country to Russia for a handfull of beans.

  21. slapout says:

    of Obama’s second term in prison, he got a letter from Michelle

  22. rodney dill says:

    Wookies will be declared to be citizens

  23. rodney dill says:

    Second Verse Same as the First, a Little Bit Louder and a Little Bit Worse.

  24. hadsil says:

    Obama invites Dana Carvey to the White House. Everyone does the Church Lady’s I’m So Superior dance.

    The Obamas have a feast. In unrelated news, the stray dog population in Washington DC decreases.

    Chris Matthews checks into a hospital due to lack of blood in the upper half of his body.

  25. AT says:


  26. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    … the Irish swear off whiskey and burn down the Guinness factory.

    Erm…Guinness is NOT a whiskey factory. Whiskey is made in distilleries , beer, such as Guinness, is gently crafted in a brewery.

    There. Sorted.

  27. FormerHostage says:

    …he continues with his policy of opening up the Gulf for drilling and finishing the Keystone pipeline. He signs a bill to further strengthen the work requirement for welfare. He spends 5 hours meeting with his National Security Team and decides to continue arming Iranian Democratic Freedom fighters to further the goal of collapsing the regime. That evening he visits the White House barber to have his goatee trimmed.
    (NOTE: He only gets a second term in a bizarro alternate universe)

  28. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . I leave for Canada.

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …he meets with his cabinet and…heh, thought this was gonna be a fantasy scenario didn’t you?

    …he fulfills a promise and declares skanks a recognized minority and must be given hiring priority status.

    …actually engenders goodwill of everyone by leaving Guantanamo open and closing Michael Bay.

  30. DamnCat says:

    I can’t even joke about such a thing.

  31. tomg51 says:

    …dinosaurs with rocket launchers are outlawed. On day 2, the moon is nuked.

  32. CarolyntheMommy says:

    CarolyntheMommy gets the paperwork in for her baby’s passport so she can move Down Under as soon as it comes in.

    CarolyntheMommy’s neighbors come running to her house to investigate repeated, loud noises only to find that it’s Carolyn repeatedly banging her head on the table going, “Why? Why? WHYYYYYYYY?”

    Free abortions for everyone!

    The golf channel will premier a show: Putting with the Pres

    The crescent goes atop the Capitol dome

    … I’ll go into hibernation until 2016

  33. g says:

    Impeachment proceedings for Benghazi begin.

  34. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …a Mayan high priest announces someone forgot to carry the 1, so the end of the world will take place a month later than expected.

    …Obama announces he has brokered a seven-year peace treaty between Israel and the muslim world.

    …A victory feast! -Say, has anyone seen Bo? He couldn’t have gotten far with all the weight he’s put on since November…

  35. Ernie Loco says:

    … the Irish swear off whiskey and burn down the Guinness factory.

    Yeah, those are two separate thoughts. What’s Ireland known for (besides potatos, Catholics, and red heads)? Drunks, Guinness beer, and Irish whiskey. And on the large scale production that Guinness annually puts out, I feel comfortable calling it a factory as opposed to a brewery.

    See, in the alternate universe where Obama is reelected, the Irish will give up their Guinness and their whiskey. But if I have to explain it, it’s not as funny…

  36. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    This is a trick question….right?

  37. CTCompromise says:

    @30. DamnCat: Tuna to you…It is absolutely scary to consider that as of tomorrow, B.Hussein O. might rule this country at will; no longer concerned about having to run for re-election…What fury might he unleash on the adoring public ??!

  38. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Obama will take up yoga, fulfilling his promise to Putin to be more flexible.

  39. hadsil says:

    Mr. Hooper’s Store closes due to the oncoming tax hikes and Obamacare costs.

  40. pendejo grande says:

    …..I will purchase another $4500 worth of guns and ammo.

    Not Funny but Accurate.

  41. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … Joe Biden will still need a map to avoid getting lost in the Oval Office.

  42. Writer says:

    He gives Sandra Fluke a job as a White House Intern. Then she gives him a job.

  43. Jimmy says:

    Banish the thought!

  44. Frank in Lima Peru says:

    He blames George Bush for the problems in NY/NJ, the economy and then awards Christie the prestigious Benedict Arnold award.

  45. RAML says:

    Second term as what. Chicago Dog catcher. He is eating pretty good.

  46. Bad Science says:

    Skynet became self aware.

  47. 5of7 says:

    … Everyone who voted against him suddenly vanishes from the Earth, leaving only those who voted for him, those who didn’t care enough to get out and vote at all, and all the poor foreign slubs who don’t get to vote … Left Behind!

  48. tanstaafl says:

    the museum of the universe closes the book on sol 3

  49. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Prediction – On day one of Obama’s second term…” […]

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