Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Immediate Reaction to Hurricane Sandy…

Posted on November 1, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy…

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50 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Immediate Reaction to Hurricane Sandy…”

  1. Alucard says:

    How can I blame Bush?

  2. JeffAndinOhio says:

    Oh crap, where are my big boy pants?

  3. Steve H says:

    Let’s get Olivia Newton John on the phone and order her to stand down. (Unless she is wearing those leather pants…)

  4. artvol11 says:

    …Yay! More shovel ready jobs.

    …the hurricane hit New York City because Wall Streets doesn’t pay its fair share

    …no Joe, Sandy’s not going to hurt Spongebob.

  5. Andy says:

    Did somebody say sand trap? Okay, let’s squeeze in 9 holes before lunch.

  6. deltasierra says:

    President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy: Call FEMA, leave a message; hold a $26,000/plate fundraiser for the victims on Sesame Street; and make sure everyone knows that this rise of the ocean was not his fault.

  7. DamnCat says:

    “All right people, this it! This right here is what all our emergency preparation and planning has been for! Now get me a list of courses still open and available tee times!”

  8. Corsair says:

    YESSSS! No more Bengazi coverage even on Fox news!

  9. srm000 says:

    …Great. Now my wife will go crazy about the nutritional values in the soup kitchens.

    …We should use the leftover money from my latest week-long, government funded golfing trip to fund more emergency groups. Then lets use the leftover money from that to go golfing.

  10. Critter says:

    …”Whew! Now I can stand down from that Benghazi mess!”

  11. 1ManRiot says:

    We don’t want to send the wrong messages this close to the election, so let’s inspect the damaged areas using electric Fisker cars.

  12. Critter says:

    …The wind’s died down. Tee time is 0830!

  13. AwesometificAmerican says:

    “Well it is a good thing we didn’t waste a whole bunch of resources during that whole Bengazi thing after all.”

  14. Jimmy says:

    …was “Pack the cameras and call Chris Matthews. This one’s gonna tingle, baby!”

  15. Jimmy says:

    …was “Call Chris Christie and tell him to the have cheeseburgers ready.”

  16. rodney dill says:

    …he appointed Axelrod to handle the ‘spin’ on it.

  17. rodney dill says:

    …he said, “Get me that fat governor on the phone, I’m gettin’ me an endorsement from a Republican.”

  18. t-dog says:

    FORE!!!

  19. Jimmy says:

    …was “Is Christie too fat for me to visit the Jersey shore? Naaaaaah.”

  20. rodney dill says:

    Obama said, “Hurricane Sandy? I prefer my hurricanes made with Vodka and Rum.”

  21. rodney dill says:

    “Sandy? No, Hurricane windy.”

  22. Mrs. C says:

    … Sounds like something Clinton should deal with.

  23. Joel says:

    “Is this one those crises Rahm said to not let go to waste?”

  24. rodney dill says:

    “I think we’re gonna need a bigger binder.”

  25. Brutus says:

    Let me be clear and make no mistake about it. I can help. We leave no Americans behind.

  26. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. was to blame Bush for it

    … was to jet off to Las Vegas

    … was to rush off to the U.N. to apologize for America’s climate policy and the offensive video about Islam that led to Hurricane Sandy

  27. shane says:

    President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy… was the same reaction he had when asked by SEALs if they could kill Bin Laden and to cries for help in from former SEALs in Benghazi… He took a nap.

  28. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … was a celebration dance: less talk about Benghazi, more talk about how ‘presidentiallyish’ he looks

  29. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. immediate concern for all the votes that might not be cast for him, but then he remembered that it’s NY and NJ we’re talking about and he relaxed.

  30. tomg51 says:

    I sure hope no hybrids catch fire
    http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/10/31/fisker-karmas-catch-fire-after-being-submerged-by-hurricane-sandy-flood/

  31. Jimmy says:

    …was “Oh great! A chance for the people to love me again! Wait. Why WEREN’T they loving me? Hmm. Honey, I bought some new clubs. You know, I could use a waffle right now. BO, get off the damn couch! Rahm, call Hillary and tell her to @#$%-off…”

  32. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. sheer frustration: how will he ever manage those sand traps and water hazards?

  33. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    “…gee, I wonder if that fat Republican can introduce me to J-Woww and Snookie, maybe they’ll make me an honorary guido and I can have Appletinis with them and check out their plush toys…ohboyohboyohboy!” [claps hands with girlish glee]

  34. Jimmy says:

    …was “Look at those flooded golf courses! What a shame.”

  35. Carpenter says:

    was to pray to the Gods of Global Warming

  36. Dohtimes says:

    …was to ask if Sandy had been caught with those missing Benghazi documents.

    …signed an Executive Order barring Moochelle and Christie from riding Marine One together.

    …was to check the battery backup for Teleprompter One.

    …he had Hillary blame it on a Right Wind Conspiricy.

  37. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …pop in his Scorpions CD and lip sync ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’.

    …he claimed it was outrage over the ’2016′ video.

  38. DamnCat says:

    “We need to set soup kitchens to make sure people get fed. For greatest efficiency we should set them up next door to the dog pounds.”

  39. rodney dill says:

    “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”

  40. Writer says:

    He calculated how much additional debt he could slip by Congress.

  41. Writer says:

    He called Marine Corps 1 to ask if they could tow behind them an election banner while he toured the disaster ares.

  42. FormerHostage says:

    …was to let the answering machine pick-up (Hey! 3 am is EARLY!)

    …was to ask Joe if he’d ever been hang-gliding.

    …was to wonder how it would affect fundraising…so…just another day.

  43. bjm2009 (@bjm2009) says:

    …to make Christie an offer he couldn’t refuse.

  44. rodney dill says:

    He rubbed his magic lamp. The genie informed him that since he only had one wish left he could only help the worst areas in either New York or New Jersey. “New York and New Jersey are the only really bad areas needing federal aid,” Obama asked. “Yes,” said the Genie. “In that case,’ said Obama, “I just wish for a coke.”

  45. archangel says:

    to attempt to redistribute some of its power to a weaker storm.

    to call it racist.

    to invite it to a beer summit.

    to use borderline harsh words describing sanctions he may consider imposing should the storm not cut it out.

  46. Doug says:

    Jets off to a Florida fund raiser. Honest!

    Realizes that might not look good (that optic thing), so he delivers some pizzas and flies back to DC, so the media can report on him as acting very “Presidential”.
    (By the way, who pays for that Florida trip? Domino’s?)

  47. jw says:

    blame bush

  48. archangel says:

    “let’s just let al gore take this one…he’s due”

  49. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama’s immediate reaction to hurricane Sandy…” [...]

  50. Stephen M. St. Onge says:

    … was awe: “There’s actually something that blows worse than I.”

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