Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Immediate Reaction to Hurricane Sandy…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy…
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November 1st, 2012 at 12:02 pm
How can I blame Bush?
November 1st, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Oh crap, where are my big boy pants?
November 1st, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Let’s get Olivia Newton John on the phone and order her to stand down. (Unless she is wearing those leather pants…)
November 1st, 2012 at 12:10 pm
…Yay! More shovel ready jobs.
…the hurricane hit New York City because Wall Streets doesn’t pay its fair share
…no Joe, Sandy’s not going to hurt Spongebob.
November 1st, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Did somebody say sand trap? Okay, let’s squeeze in 9 holes before lunch.
November 1st, 2012 at 12:19 pm
President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy: Call FEMA, leave a message; hold a $26,000/plate fundraiser for the victims on Sesame Street; and make sure everyone knows that this rise of the ocean was not his fault.
November 1st, 2012 at 12:19 pm
“All right people, this it! This right here is what all our emergency preparation and planning has been for! Now get me a list of courses still open and available tee times!”
November 1st, 2012 at 12:42 pm
YESSSS! No more Bengazi coverage even on Fox news!
November 1st, 2012 at 12:51 pm
…Great. Now my wife will go crazy about the nutritional values in the soup kitchens.
…We should use the leftover money from my latest week-long, government funded golfing trip to fund more emergency groups. Then lets use the leftover money from that to go golfing.
November 1st, 2012 at 12:58 pm
…”Whew! Now I can stand down from that Benghazi mess!”
November 1st, 2012 at 12:58 pm
We don’t want to send the wrong messages this close to the election, so let’s inspect the damaged areas using electric Fisker cars.
November 1st, 2012 at 1:00 pm
…The wind’s died down. Tee time is 0830!
November 1st, 2012 at 1:07 pm
“Well it is a good thing we didn’t waste a whole bunch of resources during that whole Bengazi thing after all.”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:15 pm
…was “Pack the cameras and call Chris Matthews. This one’s gonna tingle, baby!”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:19 pm
…was “Call Chris Christie and tell him to the have cheeseburgers ready.”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm
…he appointed Axelrod to handle the ‘spin’ on it.
November 1st, 2012 at 1:26 pm
…he said, “Get me that fat governor on the phone, I’m gettin’ me an endorsement from a Republican.”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:33 pm
FORE!!!
November 1st, 2012 at 1:42 pm
…was “Is Christie too fat for me to visit the Jersey shore? Naaaaaah.”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Obama said, “Hurricane Sandy? I prefer my hurricanes made with Vodka and Rum.”
November 1st, 2012 at 1:59 pm
“Sandy? No, Hurricane windy.”
November 1st, 2012 at 2:03 pm
… Sounds like something Clinton should deal with.
November 1st, 2012 at 2:07 pm
“Is this one those crises Rahm said to not let go to waste?”
November 1st, 2012 at 2:07 pm
“I think we’re gonna need a bigger binder.”
November 1st, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Let me be clear and make no mistake about it. I can help. We leave no Americans behind.
November 1st, 2012 at 2:25 pm
…. was to blame Bush for it
… was to jet off to Las Vegas
… was to rush off to the U.N. to apologize for America’s climate policy and the offensive video about Islam that led to Hurricane Sandy
November 1st, 2012 at 2:26 pm
President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy… was the same reaction he had when asked by SEALs if they could kill Bin Laden and to cries for help in from former SEALs in Benghazi… He took a nap.
November 1st, 2012 at 2:27 pm
… was a celebration dance: less talk about Benghazi, more talk about how ‘presidentiallyish’ he looks
November 1st, 2012 at 2:28 pm
…. immediate concern for all the votes that might not be cast for him, but then he remembered that it’s NY and NJ we’re talking about and he relaxed.
November 1st, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I sure hope no hybrids catch fire
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/10/31/fisker-karmas-catch-fire-after-being-submerged-by-hurricane-sandy-flood/
November 1st, 2012 at 2:38 pm
…was “Oh great! A chance for the people to love me again! Wait. Why WEREN’T they loving me? Hmm. Honey, I bought some new clubs. You know, I could use a waffle right now. BO, get off the damn couch! Rahm, call Hillary and tell her to @#$%-off…”
November 1st, 2012 at 2:44 pm
…. sheer frustration: how will he ever manage those sand traps and water hazards?
November 1st, 2012 at 2:45 pm
“…gee, I wonder if that fat Republican can introduce me to J-Woww and Snookie, maybe they’ll make me an honorary guido and I can have Appletinis with them and check out their plush toys…ohboyohboyohboy!” [claps hands with girlish glee]
November 1st, 2012 at 2:49 pm
…was “Look at those flooded golf courses! What a shame.”
November 1st, 2012 at 2:53 pm
was to pray to the Gods of Global Warming
November 1st, 2012 at 2:56 pm
…was to ask if Sandy had been caught with those missing Benghazi documents.
…signed an Executive Order barring Moochelle and Christie from riding Marine One together.
…was to check the battery backup for Teleprompter One.
…he had Hillary blame it on a Right Wind Conspiricy.
November 1st, 2012 at 3:48 pm
…pop in his Scorpions CD and lip sync ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’.
…he claimed it was outrage over the ’2016′ video.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:10 pm
“We need to set soup kitchens to make sure people get fed. For greatest efficiency we should set them up next door to the dog pounds.”
November 1st, 2012 at 5:29 pm
“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”
November 1st, 2012 at 5:33 pm
He calculated how much additional debt he could slip by Congress.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:34 pm
He called Marine Corps 1 to ask if they could tow behind them an election banner while he toured the disaster ares.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:36 pm
…was to let the answering machine pick-up (Hey! 3 am is EARLY!)
…was to ask Joe if he’d ever been hang-gliding.
…was to wonder how it would affect fundraising…so…just another day.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:38 pm
…to make Christie an offer he couldn’t refuse.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:44 pm
He rubbed his magic lamp. The genie informed him that since he only had one wish left he could only help the worst areas in either New York or New Jersey. “New York and New Jersey are the only really bad areas needing federal aid,” Obama asked. “Yes,” said the Genie. “In that case,’ said Obama, “I just wish for a coke.”
November 1st, 2012 at 9:37 pm
to attempt to redistribute some of its power to a weaker storm.
to call it racist.
to invite it to a beer summit.
to use borderline harsh words describing sanctions he may consider imposing should the storm not cut it out.
November 2nd, 2012 at 9:49 am
Jets off to a Florida fund raiser. Honest!
Realizes that might not look good (that optic thing), so he delivers some pizzas and flies back to DC, so the media can report on him as acting very “Presidential”.
(By the way, who pays for that Florida trip? Domino’s?)
November 2nd, 2012 at 10:27 am
blame bush
November 2nd, 2012 at 11:18 am
“let’s just let al gore take this one…he’s due”
November 2nd, 2012 at 7:32 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama’s immediate reaction to hurricane Sandy…” [...]
November 2nd, 2012 at 10:30 pm
… was awe: “There’s actually something that blows worse than I.”