Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Immediate Reaction to Hurricane Sandy…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy…

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50 Comments

  1. Let’s get Olivia Newton John on the phone and order her to stand down. (Unless she is wearing those leather pants…)

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  2. …Yay! More shovel ready jobs.

    …the hurricane hit New York City because Wall Streets doesn’t pay its fair share

    …no Joe, Sandy’s not going to hurt Spongebob.

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  3. President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy: Call FEMA, leave a message; hold a $26,000/plate fundraiser for the victims on Sesame Street; and make sure everyone knows that this rise of the ocean was not his fault.

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  4. “All right people, this it! This right here is what all our emergency preparation and planning has been for! Now get me a list of courses still open and available tee times!”

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  5. …Great. Now my wife will go crazy about the nutritional values in the soup kitchens.

    …We should use the leftover money from my latest week-long, government funded golfing trip to fund more emergency groups. Then lets use the leftover money from that to go golfing.

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  6. We don’t want to send the wrong messages this close to the election, so let’s inspect the damaged areas using electric Fisker cars.

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  7. …. was to blame Bush for it

    … was to jet off to Las Vegas

    … was to rush off to the U.N. to apologize for America’s climate policy and the offensive video about Islam that led to Hurricane Sandy

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  8. President Obama’s immediate reaction to Hurricane Sandy… was the same reaction he had when asked by SEALs if they could kill Bin Laden and to cries for help in from former SEALs in Benghazi… He took a nap.

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  9. … was a celebration dance: less talk about Benghazi, more talk about how ‘presidentiallyish’ he looks

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  10. …. immediate concern for all the votes that might not be cast for him, but then he remembered that it’s NY and NJ we’re talking about and he relaxed.

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  11. …was “Oh great! A chance for the people to love me again! Wait. Why WEREN’T they loving me? Hmm. Honey, I bought some new clubs. You know, I could use a waffle right now. BO, get off the damn couch! Rahm, call Hillary and tell her to @#$%-off…”

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  12. “…gee, I wonder if that fat Republican can introduce me to J-Woww and Snookie, maybe they’ll make me an honorary guido and I can have Appletinis with them and check out their plush toys…ohboyohboyohboy!” [claps hands with girlish glee]

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  13. …was to ask if Sandy had been caught with those missing Benghazi documents.

    …signed an Executive Order barring Moochelle and Christie from riding Marine One together.

    …was to check the battery backup for Teleprompter One.

    …he had Hillary blame it on a Right Wind Conspiricy.

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  14. …pop in his Scorpions CD and lip sync ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’.

    …he claimed it was outrage over the ‘2016’ video.

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  15. “We need to set soup kitchens to make sure people get fed. For greatest efficiency we should set them up next door to the dog pounds.”

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  16. He called Marine Corps 1 to ask if they could tow behind them an election banner while he toured the disaster ares.

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  17. …was to let the answering machine pick-up (Hey! 3 am is EARLY!)

    …was to ask Joe if he’d ever been hang-gliding.

    …was to wonder how it would affect fundraising…so…just another day.

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  18. He rubbed his magic lamp. The genie informed him that since he only had one wish left he could only help the worst areas in either New York or New Jersey. “New York and New Jersey are the only really bad areas needing federal aid,” Obama asked. “Yes,” said the Genie. “In that case,’ said Obama, “I just wish for a coke.”

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  19. to attempt to redistribute some of its power to a weaker storm.

    to call it racist.

    to invite it to a beer summit.

    to use borderline harsh words describing sanctions he may consider imposing should the storm not cut it out.

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  20. Jets off to a Florida fund raiser. Honest!

    Realizes that might not look good (that optic thing), so he delivers some pizzas and flies back to DC, so the media can report on him as acting very “Presidential”.
    (By the way, who pays for that Florida trip? Domino’s?)

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  21. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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