Straight Line of the Day: After the Pope’s Resignation…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
After the Pope’s resignation…
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February 12th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
Ronco redistributed the Pope Ill Pocket Fisherman
February 12th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
Let’s get the obvious one out of the way…
… Suzi Parker reveals that Sarah Palin in line to become next Pope.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
The Cardinals paraded around doing, “pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem” (THWACK)
February 12th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
…he scheduled a trip to Disney World.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
…John McCain’s campaign team blamed the Pope for costing McCain the presidential election.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
… he started to fall all over the place. He was no longer infallible.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
… he tore out the eighteenth book from the Old Testament, shouting “take the Job and shove it!”
February 12th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…Sinead O’Connor released her new hit cover tune of “Hit the Road Jack”
February 12th, 2013 at 12:18 pm
A lot of people looked over at Obama with that “anyone else wanna resign while we’re on a roll?” look.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
Biden made a ‘John 3:16′ sign to hold up at the SOTU address.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
…Obama said the new Pope deserved the Nobel Peace Prize.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
… the dalai lama did a victory dance.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…..he wanted to google ‘alzheimers’ but couldnt find his assistant Paolo…who was in jail again. =(
February 12th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
… they discovered there was no such thing as a Vice Pope, so the job went to the SPQR of the House.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
…proclaimed that the Vatican would have to take up smoking again.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
…emptied out his ‘bucket list’ and shipped it to the arrogant Obama.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
…declared that he was sick and tired of being a papist.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
… he got a bumper sticker: “Retirees are Papal Too”
February 12th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
…Michelle wanted his hat since it would go well with her boob belt.
…Iran’s navy claimed victory in the Holy See.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
… he went on Social Secularity.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
…the Vatican put Obama on standby for their Choom Room for when they needed to signal the selection of a new Pope.
February 12th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
… he can only give has-beenedictions
February 12th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
.. he said, “Te Deum a free man.”
February 12th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
… he applied to be a check-out cleric at Wal-Mart.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
…he gathered his Cardinals together for a pep talk, proclaiming, “Let’s win one for the Gipper!” One of the Cardinals then asked, “You mean, Jesus?” The Pope replied, “No! Reagan!”
February 12th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
…Obama announced that he would become pope by executive order. Because you can totaly do that to a foreign power.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
…he took on his new job as head coach for the 49er’s
February 12th, 2013 at 1:19 pm
…he got a gig as a color commentator for CBS Sports.
…he converted the Pope-mobile into an RV and headed to Phoenix.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
…he walked out across a lake, stuck his umbrella down in the water to see how deep it was, then continued walking out onto the lake.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
…he got a Notre Dame tat and opened a burger joint just off campus.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
…he mooned in the direction of Mecca.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
…the Pope un-resigned long enough to excommunicate Oppo.
…all of the Cardinals started using PEDs.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
…since he’s already “sort of a God,” Obama did a recess appointment for the next pope…
February 12th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
…the NFL dropped their copyright lawsuit for the use of XVI.
…Nancy Pelosi said we don’t have a Pope problem, we have a can’t tax the Pope problem.
February 12th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
…he was asked if he thought he was going to heaven. “I don’t know,” said the Pope, “It’s up to The One,” he continued. “You mean Obama?” asked the person. “No, God, you dumb America-obsessed Obama worshiper!”
February 12th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
…Biden started getting fitted for robes and funny hats. He’s next in line, right?
February 12th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Everyone at IMAO hoped that Obama would take the hint and resign as well!
February 12th, 2013 at 2:42 pm
…he’ll be able to wear tracksuits and velcro sneakers like every other 85 year old.
February 12th, 2013 at 2:54 pm
… Obama invited him to go skeet shooting.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:09 pm
. . . the New York Times blamed it on the Tea Party.
. . . Kim Jong-un claimed that he was the Pope of North Korea.
. . . Biden started preparing “Pope and Change” posters for his 2016 campaign.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
…God will stop returning his phone calls.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
…Obama reformed his Jobs Council because he could finally see the prospect of a real job being filled somewhere.
February 12th, 2013 at 3:57 pm
@32: “all of the Cardinals started using PEDs” – Dohtimes
You trying to get me double-secret excommunicated, by setting up a PED-ophile joke?
February 12th, 2013 at 4:51 pm
1) He went out and got a front license plate that exclaims “Let Me tell you about All My Children”
[By the way it's going on a really tits-looking Alfa-Romeo]
2) “Oktoberfest, here I come…..”
3) No Lent this year, steak every day.
4) Anyone spouting ‘little boy’ jokes gets a beat-down……..
5) Finally,…. a little privacy.
February 12th, 2013 at 4:53 pm
@Rodney Dill #3: That’s Jesu with a capital “J,” you godless pagan. Thanks for the hint on what to do for Lent this year, though. THWACK.
February 12th, 2013 at 5:02 pm
David Burge (Iowahawk):
February 12th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
. . . he is headed for an “around the world” Victory Tour as soon as he borrows Danny Thomas’ ring.
February 12th, 2013 at 5:28 pm
He is going to start a BLOG: How to quit while your ahead
February 12th, 2013 at 5:31 pm
. . . he moved to the U. S. and became overseer of Notre Dame’s football coaches.
February 13th, 2013 at 12:26 am
Obama got ready to take over the Vatican. Unfortunately for him his Muslim advisors found out and made him milk the goat all night long. (get you minds out of the gutter, I wrote milk the goat and I meant milk the goat …….Geesh)
February 13th, 2013 at 9:06 am
…he became the next Dread Pirate Roberts.
February 13th, 2013 at 10:00 am
…he headed to the nearest bar to try out his new pickup line. “I was the Vicarius Christi, but I gave it all up for you…”
February 13th, 2013 at 2:22 pm
…he got new vanity plates…EX-POPE
February 14th, 2013 at 8:50 am
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