Straight Line of the Day: The REAL Reason Obama Stopped Allowing Tours of the White House…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The REAL reason Obama stopped allowing tours of the White House…
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March 14th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
… all the other tyrants made fun of him for allowing peasants in his home
March 14th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
…because like Chevy Chase… he’s been indoor golfing… na na na na nananana…
March 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…Biden kept coming with his shotgun.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…they all kept asking when they’d see the white puff of smoke…
March 14th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
… He’s worried that someone will find the Red Lectroid nest
March 14th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
…was the occasional embarrassing quesiton. (“Who’s that homeless guy out back with the trash?” “You mean the Dali Lama?”)
March 14th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
… he was afraid he would be sighted strolling to the oval office in his underwear
March 14th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
…everytime someone saw Obama during a tour they yelled, “He’s got a gun!..”
March 14th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
…the tourists kept petting his lunch.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
… it was too hard to keep the choom smell away from the touring public.
… the tours interfered with the routes necessary to sneak junk food past Michelle’s patrols.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
… is because Barney Frank is running a Homosexual Escort service (again) in the Lincoln bedroom.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…let the wookie win…
March 14th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Due to sequestration he was forced to cancel all his trips to the bathroom and now pees in the kitchen sink.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Interferes with construction of the underground Thunderdome.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
…the tourists kept getting into his munchies.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
. . . visitors have been pointing out the empty candy wrappers to Michelle.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:50 pm
…people keep asking to see Bo and he’s running out of excuses.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
…was because whenever he walked into the room they didn’t cheer and whistle like they did for The Fonz.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
…people stopped paying the $10 cover charge.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
…was that free tours were cutting into OFA’s profits.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
…was because the tourists kept giving Biden candy bars and the sugar rush kept him from taking his nap.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
…was because it was getting harder and harder to keep Michelle from stabbing fat kids.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
…Obama’s disbanded Jobs Council kept trying to sneak in to finally meet him.
March 14th, 2013 at 1:12 pm
the kids make more sense than his cabinet
March 14th, 2013 at 1:15 pm
…the drones wouldn’t fit to keep an eye on the visitors.
March 14th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
…as part of the White House renovations he is gutting the publicly accessible areas and putting in a basketball court.
March 14th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
@FormerHostage #22 — …and harder to keep Shasha from following them around with a tuba.
March 14th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
…the tourists get scared when the kid rides by on his Big Wheel saying “Redrum, Redrum”.
…some of the older folks balked at having to get down and crawl past all the doorways.
…renting it out to the porn industry was a huge money maker and people were made physically ill by the disgusting behavior displayed by the more mainstream members of the entertainment industry.
…their liability skyrocketed when people kept tripping over John Kerry’s hitching post.
March 14th, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Reggie moved back in.
March 14th, 2013 at 3:01 pm
.. the machinery needed to project Obummer’s holographic image is too costly to keep running 24/7.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
The REAL reason Obama stopped allowing tours of the White House…is just another part of his plan to distance the “American Public” from the “Office of the President” as much as possible.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:01 pm
The REAL reason Obama stopped allowing tours of the White House…is that no matter how hard h tried, he could not get Rev. Wright to use his “indoor voice”.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
The REAL reason Obama stopped allowing tours of the White House…is that he doesn’t need to appease voters anymore.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:06 pm
1) Like that kid in your neighborhood who was always getting the best and latest,and you ragged him, due to you being you, Barry took his ball and went home to pout, ’cause he heard somone makin’ fun of his big ears.
2) The latest stuff written on the public[s] restroom’s mirrors was really the last straw……..
3)Everyone had to suffer, cause Michelle heard one single solitary soul makin big-time fun of her
Gi-Normous Bum,….. so **there**, America……….
4)He did it, simply because he could, sillies. ” President Barry don’t need no stinking reasons…!! ”
5) O for A called and said they needed more privacy.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:10 pm
…was… crabs.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:15 pm
… that he already sold out the place, so why keep having Open Houses?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:30 pm
…because your $50,000 minimum gets you in the door and who is gonna let anybody stupid enough to pay that wander around his house.
…the exhaust vent in Michelle’s bathroom kept getting clogged up with white people from Kansas.
…his new energy program uses the stink of failure as a fuel and some of the tourists are Republicans.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:39 pm
…Chris Christie met Michelle’s ass in a hallway, creating an immovable object subjected to an un-objecting subject that can be rejected but not ejected.
…
March 14th, 2013 at 4:47 pm
… They’re tired of having to make Biden put his pants back on…
March 14th, 2013 at 4:52 pm
… was so he could give TeleprompTours.
March 14th, 2013 at 4:52 pm
… was Bush. Haven’t you been paying attention?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
… was so that he could officially rename it “Guantanamo” and keep one campaign promise.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
… was to bring out the racists who would question it. I guess you *haven’t* been paying attention.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:04 pm
… was because he doesn’t want any of the 2,000 illegal immigrants just released from jail coming to pay a visit. “Not In My Barack Yard.”
March 14th, 2013 at 5:06 pm
….they’re selling off artifacts piece by piece and haven’t gotten the fake ones back for their fences yet.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:23 pm
… was because he didn’t want to look petulant and petty after not getting his way on the sequester. Heh. Another thing he’s failed at.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:23 pm
…it was getting too difficult to hide the smell of choom.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:38 pm
… was because, as usual, he wasn’t listening too closely to Michelle, and all he heard was “Let’s move!”
March 14th, 2013 at 6:33 pm
…their new green policy required green, preferably in the form of Benjamins to gain access.
…Harry Reid was wrong about the tourist smell, they enter fresh and stink on the way out, for some strange reason.
…the bathroom with Michelle’s Ferguson was open to the public.
…there is more than one way to skin a cat but only one for a Wookie and watching laws and sausage made pale in comparison.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
… he got tired of people looking at Moochelle’s chair and making comments about “Wide Loads”.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:08 pm
Pure Meanness
March 14th, 2013 at 11:12 pm
The REAL Reason Obama Stopped Allowing Tours of the White House…he didn’t make up his bed.
March 15th, 2013 at 4:44 am
everyone kept asking to get a picture with chewbaca
March 15th, 2013 at 10:55 am
… was the “WIDE LOAD” sign someone taped across Moochelle’s butt, by someone she insulted.
March 18th, 2013 at 7:43 am
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