People have been making a big deal out of sixteen words in the President’s State of the Union speech, but it almost seems to me like they’re blowing things out of proportion. I don’t think whether that mention of uranium had been in speech or not would have changed whether we would go to war with Saddam, but I thought I’d get the opinion of someone who had actually been in Iraq risking his life on what he thought of this possible falsehood.
Hi, Buck here– Buck the Marine, that is. Now, I don’t get myself involved much in politics, I just kill fore’ners, but some people have been saying that President Bush lied and that, as a result, people have died. I’m here to tell you that, whether Bush told the truth or not, I would have killed lots of fore’ners. These were some bad people, and we can all be happy that they are now in fore’ner hell.
As for whether Iraq was trying to get uranium from Africa really concerns me, I have to say it did not. When I was in the midst of battle, my thoughts were not, “Kill’n these fore’ners is only justified because of Iraq trying to get uranium.” Instead, the thoughts going through my head were, “These people are sure foreign; I should kill them,” and, “It sure is satisfying to be kill’n these people who are foreign,” and, “I just killed me all them fore’ners; hope I can find some more,” and finally, “Ooh-rah!”
Now, maybe to the oppressed Iraqis, it was possible that they only wanted to be liberated if Iraq had tried to obtain uranium from Africa. There was a lot of cheering when we entered the cities, but a lot of what they said was in crazy fore’ner gibberish, so I can’t be sure what they said. One little Iraqi girl did run up to me and say, “Thank you, Mr. American,” which made me happy, and then she asked, “I heard some people did not want you to save us. Could you stab them with your big knife?” She was so sweet and innocent, so of course I had to tell her yes. I almost teared up at that point, and maybe that made me so distracted I missed her next statement of, “But, if it wasn’t true about what Bush said about Iraq and uranium in the State of the Union speech, could you please put Saddam back in power so he can torture my family,” but I doubt she said that.
Anyway, while in Iraq, I killed a lot of people, and, if they didn’t want to have been killed, they shouldn’t have been so foreign. And we were way too busy in that conflict to be parsing through the President’s State of the Union speech at the same time. Like I’ve said, I’m a Marine; not a politician. I’m just stating it as it is.
Godspeed to all the troops still in Iraq and Afghanistan, and may you find all the fore’ners still in need of kill’n. Ooh-rah!
You know, Buck, the Democrats are full into diversity. I wonder if that means that plenty of their number are foreign? Hmm…
God bless you, Buck. And I hope you get to kill some more foreigners soon!
That little girl has truly said it all. And as a knife collector, not a gun aficionado, I am very glad that she wished for Buck to use a big knife. Let us hope that it is a least partially serrated.
Buck, I will let you borrow any knife in my collection! Some of my custom knives are begging to be field-tested, and I know you’ll put them to good use.;)
Buck Speaks
IMAO: Buck’s Opinion on the State of Union Speech Intelligence Fiasco And that’s the end of that.
vegesigo:
I think we can safely assume that Buck uses a Ka-Bar and that when they came out with their serrated-blade USMC model he made sure he got hold of one. Much like this:
http://www.ka-bar.com/cgi-bin/product_detail.cgi?product_id=62&cat=2
Of course he could have wanted something a little angrier looking….
http://www.ka-bar.com/cgi-bin/product_detail.cgi?product_id=138&cat=2
http://www.ka-bar.com/cgi-bin/product_detail.cgi?product_id=220&cat=2
in both cases above…… YIKES!!!
16 words
Buck the Marine has the last word on the whole uranium thing. Not surprisingly, it’s “Ooh-rah!”….
Mike the Marine,
It is nice to see that the Army and the Marines can finally agree upon something. Hooah!
I realize that Buck is satire, and quite funny at that, I still cringe just a little. I wore the birdie on the ball, proudly. During the Battle for Hue City during Tet of ’68 my unit took several casualties, both KIA and WIA getting civilians to safety, and, yes, they were ‘foriners’. We also took extra casualties because we used far less air and artillery than was available, due to the danger to noncombatants. I enlisted before the Viet Nam mess heated up. It was ‘peacetime’. My second day in Boot Camp, my DI, a vet of Iwo Jima, Korea and many other fights, told us that the purpose of a Marine was to take the bullet so that civilians, both foreign and US, wouldn’t have to. We did. The kids who came behind me still do.
Peter,
I get the impression that Buck doesn’t want to kill ALL ‘foriners’. Just ‘foriners that need killing’. Of which there are plenty.
And thank you for your service.
Peter, thanks for the leveling reminder, and thank you for serving our country. As a civilian feeling besieged by media combatants though, I have to say Buck’s comments, which are absurdly exaggerated, provide much relief and illustrate the utter absurdity of the charges being leveled at Bush. That’s one of Frank’s best talents–exposing stupidity through silliness and stereotypical characters.
But it’s a deadly serious subject, and deeply offensive. Maybe that’s why I started out laughing hysterically and ended up in tears.
I really don’t mean to offend, especially any actual Marines. For Buck, “fore’ner” is just another word for “evil person.” In the paragraph about liberating a city, I thought I made it clear that Buck doesn’t want to kill all foreigners.
Whaddaya Know? They Really Didn’t Want Us There.
IMAO Now, maybe to the oppressed Iraqis, it was possible that they only wanted to be liberated if Iraq had tried to obtain uranium from Africa. There was a lot of cheering when we entered the cities, but a lot…
F*** Brother, I wasn’t offended. At least not until I found out that you made Buck up. That was a lousy f***ing trick. Here I tought I had touched souls with a kindred spirit. Besides emailing the thousands of Russian Women dying to meet me, now what the f*** am I supposed to do?
Hey Pete, I’m sorry, should I not use the word F*** when posting. I won’t if that’s considered impolite. V/R
PS – I can’t wait until the “Thousands of Iraqi Wommen” webpages come up.
Peter and that guy on the other site have got to be trolls. Two Marines are my sons, and they think Buck is hysterical. And every Marine I know that reads this site think it’s funny. These guys are far far cruder than you would ever have the guts to let Buck be. Keep up the good work.