The Paradox Candidate: So, in summary, Kerry did and didn’t vote for funding the troops, does and doesn’t own an SUV, and he did and didn’t throw his medals over the wall. It’s like Schrˆdinger’s Cat escaped from the box.
The Frenchest Party in Town: In one of those mass Kerry e-mails, I was encouraged to throw a John Kerry party at my house. How would that work? Maybe I could serve a John Kerry drink – a drink that’s different every time you serve it (it both does and doesn’t have vermouth; it’s nuanced). There could also be the By the Way I Served in Vietnam drink which is handed to you over and over while its name is announced loudly.
You Served Where?: I was just thinking, my dad had served about eight months in Vietnam – twice as long as Kerry – and I think I’ve heard him mention it less throughout my entire life than I have heard Kerry mention his service in the past couple months. Me, I would exploit my service:
“Get me a beer from the fridge, boy!”
“Get it yourself.”
“Do as tell you! I served in Vietnam!”
It’s Magic!: Going back to the party idea, Kerry has the ultimate party trick. He could take his medals, throw them over a wall, and then have them magically reappear framed in a glass case when politically convenient.
A Little Less Insurgey:That’s 43 down; how many does that leave?
Hostages Are Nothing But Dishonorable Ronin: Interesting how the returning hostages to Japan got treated. I guess it’s a learning experience for the terrorists about which of our allies will be affected by hostage taking, and I guess they shouldn’t try it on the ones that react by getting mad at the hostages.
I Forgot to Celebrate that Holiday: Here’s a blogger I should have added to my blogroll a while ago. Look at her description of what she did on Earth Day.
Wait, I still haven’t added her to the blogroll. I’ll do it later…
The Appeasingest Place on Earth: A very reputable new source reports that Europe has decided to give up trying to become countries and be one big theme park. It’s nice to hear that EU is finally getting realistic. (thanks to Combustible Boy for sending that in)
Monkey News: Hong Kong has had an increase in monkey problems, monkey stealing people’s food and then throwing back at the people whatever they don’t like. So, they’re targeting the worst of the offenders to quell the problem. Fools! You must target all monkeys, as those that aren’t directly causing trouble are conspiring with the others. No country can be truly successful until they’re like us in the U.S. and get rid of all wild monkeys.
Me Write Better: I had a group critique with my writing group on a fantasy novel I’m working on, and, unlike last time, they thought I shouldn’t toss the whole thing out. I’m getting better! Soon I’ll be the greatest novelist ever!
Punk Kids and Animal Abuse: Stupid punk teenager beating up a poor, defenseless 400 pound bear. Seriously, what a badass. Now there’s someone with the potential to be an uber-bully. A little advice for nerds at his high school: if he asks for your lunch money, just hand it over and walk away.
Frank Fans: I’ll have an update on activities soon. Congrats on the [blacked out]. Maybe I’ll start accepting more members in the exclusive fan club soon.
Tick Tock: Babes, you have only today and tomorrow to enter the IMAO T-Shirt Babe Contest. No late entries will be accepted. So get moving before this one time opportunity passes you by!
Erm, Kerry’s like Schroedinger’s cat. It’s Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, but Schroedinger’s cat. Heisenberg hated cats, you see; he thought they were going to take over the world. He didn’t know about the monkeys, though.
Monkey News:
Frank, being a Florida boy you should know, there are wild monkeys in the Ocala National Forest. Some friends of mine and I taunted them once and stole their rope swing that hung over the Silver River. They just stood around and helplessly watched. Ha !!! There have been accounts of them attacking people over the years and there were plans of a big monkey kill a number of years ago, but the animal rights people put a stop to that.
Mike
Enough with the cats and stuff. It’s too early and it’s making my brain hurt. I just can’t do advanced theories before nine o’clock.
I’m trying to enter the babe contest, Frank–I even have my statement ready. I just need the photo, and that’s proving harder to get than I thought it would be.
Perhaps Kerry works on the uncertainty principle,
in the same way that you change the result by observing an atom, the same is true when you ask kerry a question on his policies.
Okay Frank, I’ll submit my photo after you submit yours.
I’m operating on the uncertainty principle, as described by Boo.
Though, fair warning: I may waffle.
It’s QUANTUM POLITICS – a new study Major Program for those filthy, no-working, commie sign-carrying, hippie ‘career students’ at Berkeley!
No, wait. That’s been their existing PoliSci program for decades… Nevermind.
Actually, that’s not poly sci, that’s the ethnic studies major. That’s right, we have a major called freakin’ Ethnic Studies. And it’s the home base major of the Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary group (aka BAMN). Can you believe taxpayer money goes to this stuff?
You are aware that Heisenberg was right, Black Swan?
Everyone (Myself included)I know who has a cat, is that cat’s ever attendant staff. Feeding, grooming, letting the green eyed furball in and out between long naps.
Though, very damn few know what cats actually do when they go outside (Besides catting around) They look up at the sky and communicate silently with their Mother Ships!
Always coming up with newer, cuter, and odder ways upon their return. To place their humans under their insidious paws!
Imperial Lamplighter.
So, in summary, Kerry did and didn’t vote for funding the troops, does and doesn’t own an SUV, and he did and didn’t throw his medals over the wall. It’s like Schrödinger’s Cat escaped from the box.Frank J., in today’s…
what’s this earth day we speak of? are we supposed to give earth a hug or something or sing it a song?/ whoah no that resembles hippies yipes kick that out now (shakes rabbidly and cries)
sh few i feel better now anyways i never heard anything about earth day must’ve been those KFC protestors again…dang em
matt
Well, sure you told people to donate. But somebody who might otherwise throw in $10 and call it a day may donate north of $700 for an original cartoon (Cox & Forkum). You could offer to skewer the person of the highest bidder’s choice in your finest Know Thy Enemy style, or a signed NTM T-shirt, and set the min bid to a reasonable amount.
Don’t worry, I’m…multitasking. Yeah, that’s it. Or, I’ll finish my entry in the middle of the night. Probably that’s more likely. But you know, with the time difference, it’ll seem like early morning to you! Wait, I’m not sure how that makes it better. Hmm…
I read the “Frank Fans” comment and became very scared. What if someone attempts to discover our secret plans be infiltrating the fan club? The person will join the fan club EVEN THOUGH HE IS NOT A FAN! And he will receive all the secret missions. This cannot be. We must have some sort of trustworthiness test for every new member, like a hippy beating contest or something. Anyone have any other ideas?
Go get me my dinner
Go get me my brew
Gather round the kids
So they can have one too
Frank, I was for adding you to my blogroll before I was against it. No really.
Does this mean you won’t enter my wet tighty whities for bush contest?
Erm, Kerry’s like Schroedinger’s cat. It’s Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, but Schroedinger’s cat. Heisenberg hated cats, you see; he thought they were going to take over the world. He didn’t know about the monkeys, though.
D’oh, you’re right, but you changed the post by reading it.
Moxie, I’ll think about entering your contest if you enter mine.
Realize that’s only thinking about, not actually doing any such thing? Still…
Monkey News:
Frank, being a Florida boy you should know, there are wild monkeys in the Ocala National Forest. Some friends of mine and I taunted them once and stole their rope swing that hung over the Silver River. They just stood around and helplessly watched. Ha !!! There have been accounts of them attacking people over the years and there were plans of a big monkey kill a number of years ago, but the animal rights people put a stop to that.
Mike
Enough with the cats and stuff. It’s too early and it’s making my brain hurt. I just can’t do advanced theories before nine o’clock.
I’m trying to enter the babe contest, Frank–I even have my statement ready. I just need the photo, and that’s proving harder to get than I thought it would be.
Perhaps Kerry works on the uncertainty principle,
in the same way that you change the result by observing an atom, the same is true when you ask kerry a question on his policies.
Okay Frank, I’ll submit my photo after you submit yours.
I’m operating on the uncertainty principle, as described by Boo.
Though, fair warning: I may waffle.
It’s QUANTUM POLITICS – a new study Major Program for those filthy, no-working, commie sign-carrying, hippie ‘career students’ at Berkeley!
No, wait. That’s been their existing PoliSci program for decades… Nevermind.
Heh… Like so
Actually, that’s not poly sci, that’s the ethnic studies major. That’s right, we have a major called freakin’ Ethnic Studies. And it’s the home base major of the Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary group (aka BAMN). Can you believe taxpayer money goes to this stuff?
BerkeleyChick,
What are you doing posting? You should be getting your entry together!
You are aware that Heisenberg was right, Black Swan?
Everyone (Myself included)I know who has a cat, is that cat’s ever attendant staff. Feeding, grooming, letting the green eyed furball in and out between long naps.
Though, very damn few know what cats actually do when they go outside (Besides catting around) They look up at the sky and communicate silently with their Mother Ships!
Always coming up with newer, cuter, and odder ways upon their return. To place their humans under their insidious paws!
Imperial Lamplighter.
She still has well over 24 hours…man…let the girl post an opinion will ya?
Quote of the Day
So, in summary, Kerry did and didn’t vote for funding the troops, does and doesn’t own an SUV, and he did and didn’t throw his medals over the wall. It’s like Schrödinger’s Cat escaped from the box.Frank J., in today’s…
Frank, are you thinking about auctioning off a bit of your sharp wit for the SoA blogging drive?
How do I join in? I already told everyone to donate.
As bad as Schrödinger’s cat was in that box, it didn’t compare to what you find in Schrödinger’s cookie jar.
what’s this earth day we speak of? are we supposed to give earth a hug or something or sing it a song?/ whoah no that resembles hippies yipes kick that out now (shakes rabbidly and cries)
sh few i feel better now anyways i never heard anything about earth day must’ve been those KFC protestors again…dang em
matt
Well, sure you told people to donate. But somebody who might otherwise throw in $10 and call it a day may donate north of $700 for an original cartoon (Cox & Forkum). You could offer to skewer the person of the highest bidder’s choice in your finest Know Thy Enemy style, or a signed NTM T-shirt, and set the min bid to a reasonable amount.
Don’t worry, I’m…multitasking. Yeah, that’s it. Or, I’ll finish my entry in the middle of the night. Probably that’s more likely. But you know, with the time difference, it’ll seem like early morning to you! Wait, I’m not sure how that makes it better. Hmm…
Don’t worry about entering, BerkeleyChick, I’ve finally sent in the winning entry!
(we’re supposed to talk trash, right? if not, forget i said that!)
Talking trash is all right with me.
Kerry says he didn’t bring up Bush’s military record before Bush didn’t bring up his.
Pshaw, sarahk, I know the winning entry is coming from Berkeley! (of course, whether it’s the Girl or the Chick, that remains to be seen. 😉 )
You know what I did for Earth day? Put 18 gallons of regular unleaded in my 5.2 liter Dodge V8 truck and peeled out. And I enjoyed every second of it!
I read the “Frank Fans” comment and became very scared. What if someone attempts to discover our secret plans be infiltrating the fan club? The person will join the fan club EVEN THOUGH HE IS NOT A FAN! And he will receive all the secret missions. This cannot be. We must have some sort of trustworthiness test for every new member, like a hippy beating contest or something. Anyone have any other ideas?