Since it seems impossible to keep people from commenting, comments are now open on the post of the IMAO T-Shirt Babe Candidates. I’m even having comments open on this post.
Just a reminder, winner won’t be posted until Monday.
jonag —
I’m not exactly a model for famlily life… still a bachelor and still no kids…
But I gotta say I found your essay pretty persuasive. It’s so Big Picture, and Long View and simply Devious about breeding conservatives!! I love it.
Plus it has the added effect of completely pissing off so many liberals over so many generations!
What did you expect, jonag? We should all have been less witty and babe-ish, and this wouldn’t have been a problem. Either that, or Frank shouldn’t have offered such cool shirts so we wouldn’t care about the results.
jonag is tapping into the Roe effect that Taranto talks about on Best of the Web. If liberal families are more likely to have abortions than conservative families, then there will be more conservatives in the future who oppose abortion.
I’d just like to say kudos to all the contestants. Looks like this will be a tough decision – my compliments to you all.
Also, my vote can be bought. Please post your bribes here.
-Doug
ThoseShirts.com
Eldarblood, no because children nowadays are learning to actually respect their parents/elders and are becoming more conservative than the preceding generation. (Listen to me cuz I know- I’m part of this trend!)
krakatoa, no complimenting jonag!
and where’s my stalker/fan website? you promised! =P
Ooh, my kind of guy! 😉 Did you see in the other thread about the whipped cream wrestling match? The prospect of that should count as the bribe on behalf of myself and BerkeleyGirl. =)
Hey BerkeleyGirl,
Butt out!! Krakatoa can say whatever he wants, it’s a free country after all!!
Now, Krakatoa, where were we?… oh yes, you were gushing about my eyes….hmmmmm….
“krakatoa, no complimenting jonag!
and where’s my stalker/fan website? you promised! =P”
Oh baby, that was just pillowtalk. (name that movie)
Tell you what, I’m unemployed with nothing better to do right now. I’ll start looking up info on starting my own blog, and if I manage to get one running, I will dedicate a section to internet stalking!
Of course, if the SanFran job comes through, I’ll be almost close enough to stalk you for real. Then I could actually post pics! 😛
Okay, Doug, let’s see… Krakatoa, you can go to thoseshirts.com and get the re-print of the NTM shirt that you wanted. There. Or does steering business your way not count?
Teens rebel, but not as often in political ways. From my parent’s conservative family of 6 kids, none became liberal. But some did rebel in other ways, though.
All of the women I mentioned previously are amazingly and stupendously ridiculous. I would give anything for a chance to meet any one of you much less date or be with you. Like I said previously…your significant others are the most lucky men on the planet.
Nony Mouse – you didn’t post your picture really – you hide your face and you should never do that. To be honest (in my opinion) it never matters what you look like because someone will always think that you are the most beautiful person that they ever met. You never know … but never be afraid to show who you are.
BG – I’d never deny an offer from you 🙂
If I had the ability to be a judge, my vote would go for BerkeleyGirl. Of course, since I was in Tel Aviv for three days, there was plenty of hawkish inspiration for a judge entry (yelling obsene things, mainly what sounded like Yob Tvoyu Maht, at suspicious looking Palestinians in semi-communicable Russian – the closest language to Arabic I kind-of know.) But, I didn’t want to go to the internet cafe for the obvious reasons (not enough kevlar in the world).
Well, gee, BerkeleyGirl, I thought there were some cute guys over at Ames when I visited the place, and I’m fairly sure there were a few who were straight /and/ looking. Or do you not go for the plane-crazy types?
Well, the straight AND cute ones up here are just way too rare- so they’re basically all taken already. Plus, odds are they’re liberal, and I couldn’t stand having to constantly bitchslap my significant other… Oh well, I’m young, I have time…
Been with a liberal girl, and then a conservative (well, libertarian) one. My conclusion is that it’s definitely worth the extra effort and time to find someone who’s not a liberal.
Unfortunately, it appears that more women than men are liberals, so you conservative girls should be pretty lucky in the love department. It makes it alot easier for you to find a good man. Sucks for us guys though. Sigh
At least we have contests like this to let us know that there is some hope out there.
That’s right BerkeleyChick.. you can find all your needs right here at IMAO. It’s like Walmart and the Dating Game all rolled into one!
I think all the potential babes have made some really great entries, and I’m not just saying that.
Well ok, I did JUST say it, but I wasn’t just saying it to be diplomatic. 😛
A conservative female is something to be cherished, whether they be hippie-beaters from Cali, mothers of future conservative voters, or even a chick who can’t walk safely across a sidewalk to pick up her cat!
You all impress the hell out of me. 😉
And I do so love Walmart…no wonder IMAO is the shiznit! =) Ok, the Berkeley girls are off to our Republican club meeting. Think good thoughts about how sexy we are while we’re gone!
All that and you love Walmart too? All I can say is Wow, you are just about the perfect woman.
But as I recall, you aren’t rich yet. 🙁 Woe is me.
hehehe
I dunno, Jacob, love trancends all political boundaries… that is, unless she’s a communist goes off on tangent about how I hate Karl Marx so
and if my memory serves me right, Walmart transends all political boundaries at about 850 feet per second too… or maybe that’s .45 acp ammo, I get them confused.
I decided to go the other direction and offer a critique of the ladies of IMAO. Posted it in the Candidates comments.
I feel kindof dirty after posting it…I mean they are all so great… but I was feeling dirty after reading the Berkeley babes stuff anyway so figured before I took a shower, might as well drag ’em all thru the mud with me. 😛
Well, they could, but I imagine that would have hurt sales from the ‘family-friendly’ portion of the public, and returns due to confusion from a different set.
Aw shiittte. Wasn’t even thinking German/Nazi implication when I chose the photo (from Halloween, was St. Pauly girl), was simply thinking Hot Chick/Alcohol, two visages which tend to impart a sense of happiness better to insure a vote for me. And as for a gun? Hello???
There’s two of ’em in that there photo, boys. Lugers. Wh-pish!! YOU VILL FOTE FOR ME UND YOU VILL LIKE IT!!!
So can we root for our chick of choice? If so, I’m going with BerkeleyGirl.
I spent the first 9 yrs. of my life in central CA (San Carlos), so I’m a little partial. And she’s hot. 😀
I agree with Nony Mouse — Frank just has the hottest readers, so interest is huge!
Dan, I have no significant other, but since the Berkeley hotties have your attention, I’ll turn mine to the judges…
um, Doug, I’m currently between jobs, so I can’t buy your vote with money, but i did say really nice things about you on my blog. does that count?
John, I said nice things about you too, for real.
and Frank J, well as always, i love you!! hmm, was that going too far? sorry.
Oh why not. My take, from top to bottom, grading both the photo and the essay with the photo being worth twice the points, I say:
11 19 20 13 12 1 7 18 10 16 5 9 2 15 17 6 4 3 14 8
The top 8 were very close (4 and 5 actually tied). I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t win the contest to judge.
SarahK,
You were somewhere around second for me. Major points for being blonde and using a gun.
BerkleyChick (Reva) and Miss Beca have not received nearly enough Kudos. Yes, Ms. Beca, War IS sexy ;).
Frank,
I’m in the market for a good hold-out/pocket pistol…recommendations?
Thanks, miranda!
I’m whippin’ up some chocolate chip and some oatmeal/raisin (my great-grandmother’s recipe) this weekend. Want some? Just send me a snail-mail (c:
I can’t figure out why more people aren’t singing the praises of the absolutely adorable Miranda. Not only is she gorgeous and (to judge by her smile) impish, she also knows how to dress modestly and well.
Top Five easy.
This is what happens when you ask Americans to give (especially when you ask to give for our soldiers), and let’s remind people that even though the goal has been met, lets keep giving!!!
From opinionjounal.com “This is a remarkable story of can-do. I think it is also the story of a nation willing to do more than it has been asked by the Bush administration. It is about the need for an Iraqi home front.
The column describing Spirit of America’s effort to raise $100,000 for the TV stations appeared in this space 14 days ago. Since then, the following has happened:
Jim Hake, Spirit of America’s entrepreneur founder, says they have received $1.52 million. Some 7,000 donations have come from every state, and one from . . . France.” http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/dhenninger/?id=110005024
Goddamnit you limey bastard! Where’s my email!
I conspire with Zionists and I conspire with Zionists and I never get any Limeygrams.
I’m going to go sulk at the firing range with my uzi 🙁
I figure the Berkley girl/chick combination should be the winner. With the excess of hippies there they could start a new trend. And really piss off their professors.
–Well, I got my email, too. I’m… trying… very… hard… to… control… my… excitement… … … TOMORROW!! THEY SAID TOMORROW!!! Please, someone tell me… does it really mean that they will come out of the woodwork and try to physically hurt us??? Dear Lord, think of it!! It will be like rabbit hunting, only you just stand there and wait for the rabbits to charge at you- then you just aim, hold, and squeeze…
–Okay… deep breath… of course it is just the stupid, f’ing limey making more stupid f’ing limey noise.
–I’ll grab some extra ammo, just in case. I can always use it up on my fully poseable Kim Jong Il action target figure.
Serenity and Miranda – you are gorgeous, and were I a judge, I’d be torn between the two of you. Were I Frank, I’d pick you both… Good luck!
Oh, and it’s nice to see that XTREME DUM, Johnny Dope, Curl, and the Spinach Militant are (ha, actually that should be “is” since those four are singular) still alive and kickin’.
There ya go ladies – for the tie-breaker – let’s hear your plans for what to do with this guy (Spinach Militant et al.) It’s kind of like the Miss America thing where the girls always blather on about wanting world peace blah blah blah, but YOU actually get the opportunity to say what really needs to be said! Ready, set, GO!
Okay – we have jonag’s expression of outrage and revenge – what about the rest of you ladies? What to do to the Limey? How to prevent capitalism falling forever tomorrow?
Actually I think if you just left him alone in a room with all 20 contestants that would be a good start. He would begin having visions of Islamic Paradise. That is until we worked him over, then he would have no vision at all.
to the limey–well, there’s my all time favorite, the Boston 2-step. or we could put a lit M-80 in his mouth and watch his head blow apart.
and as far as preventing capitalism’s downfall–go buy stuff. alternately, one could contribute to the “buy beca something nice” fund, and i will singlehandedly do my best to keep capitalism afloat.
keep in mind i did not see this email of which we speak when considering my answers.
B.
Thanks for the kind words guys 🙂
And for the cookies in advance, Recovering!
What should we do with the Limey?
Have him confined in close quarters with Helen Thomas with only a copy of Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations and a Monopoly board for entertainment.
Oh, and of course Helen’s delightful company and conversation!
Well, I didn’t get his… entertaining? email myself, so I can’t reply in kind. But he seems to be the type that needs a quiet room with nothing sharp while someone gently breaks him loose from the fantasy world he’s been believing exists. And then you bring in the Cluebat. About halfway through, he’ll probably start realizing what a, um, dimwit he’s been and repent (by definition, if he hasn’t figured it out yet, you aren’t half-way through).
i agree with all the other ladies, but would like to add that with the Cluebat, we break his legs and smash his kneecaps. then we gouge out his eyes with his own fingers… oh, who am i kidding? Recovering Liberal is right, i’m bringing my gun (and i hope Miss Beca brings hers). Miranda, you’re so much nicer than me, but i do love the idea of beating him down with capitalism. jonag, we’ll have him begging for his 72 raisins.
We COULD beat him down, but sitting Helen in his lap might accomplish the same thing and is ultimately crueler.
Still, I won’t object to a few smacks to the Achilles Tendons!
May 1st, I’ll be at the range. In respect to the limey’s email, I think I’ll pick up some limes for targets.
Miranda: You scare me. Locked in a room with Helen Thomas? (shudders)
I don’t think there’s any reason to limit ourselves to one tactic or another. After all, there are a lot of “Limeys” out there, and I’m sure we’d get bored without a little variety. So one day Helen Thomas, one day kneecaps…you know, keep them on their toes. =)
Berkeley Girl and Berkeley Chick> I know of one guy who you might like. He’s a grad student named Josh Wurzel, and he got his Engineering BS at Berkeley, too. http://www.kicktothenuts.com
He’s a male Engineer who bathes, too 😉
Ok…this is never easy…
In no noticable order…
The Berkley ladies…(I vote for a dual title…they can model them together!)
Heather (as I’m a long time fan)
SarahK (though a gun saftey refresher course is in order…never keep your finger on the trigger unless you’re actually shooting)
and Willow (Helllllooooo Nurse!).
Oho – the comments section has moved. I originally commented in a previous thread – I am reposting here. The voice of reason must be heard by the judges before it is too late.
I am a first-time visitor to IMAO.
I came to see the pictures of pretty women.
I was not disappointed.
There are some strong candidates, including the woman with a facial expression that indicates indifference pointing a pistol at the camera. Nice.
However, there can be only one, and judges, take heed; there is only one to choose from.
Carissa (aka Berkeley Girl) is, IMHO, ultra-sweet and the obvious choice. She has everything anybody requires to be a superior t-shirt model.
What does the shirt say? Who cares? She’d look good in a Che Guevera or a Pat Buchannan shirt.
What style of t-shirt is it? low cut? mock turtle? wife-beater? Again, this matters not. Carissa has the hair, eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, bust and curves to make any style of shirt shine like the sun. She would make anyone want to read the small print (please, let me read the small print).
These are the facts. Hopefully the judges will choose wisely.
If my opinion meant anything, I would go on longer. If physically threatening someone would do any good, then I would punch any man, woman or child in the face for this “Carissa”.
Thanks for a great first-time visit. I suggest holding such contests on a weekly basis.
cracking up
So what you need, Jakenumber, is one of those buttons with tiny print that says “Cleavage Inspector, Thank You!” so that any lady who bends closer to read it will give you a nice view?
Well, if thinly veiled threats of violence accomplish something, here goes:
“You judges better vote for Miranda if you know what’s good for you. And you DO know what’s good for you, right? Ahem.”
Did anyone witness the “revolution”? Saturday, May 1st came and went, but I missed the Revolution. All this hype, the (retarded) e-mail, and for what? Stupid Limey, just like a liberal: all threats, no balls.
YAY CAPITALISM!
Sorry, Jakenumber, I’m a fairly hopeless flirt. I couldn’t have a picture up that didn’t have some of that with it, now could I? But I thought the copy I sent out at least showed the details of the shirt and where my waist and hips were a bit better.. oh well, I will not be too terribly disappointed if I loose to the members of my competition I thought deserved the win.
Jake — do you have Jenny’s number? 😛
Welcome to the jungle that is IMAO. This is a monkey-free jungle, with the exception of a token monkey by the name of Spacemonkey.
Krak;
Jenny’s number is on the wall.
Thanks, BTW, it’s an interesting site. Lucky for IMAO, I actually am a monkey; a very well-trained and high-functioning super monkey.
Nona;
I am also a pathetic flirt, as I tend to talk straight to strangers, which violates the golden rule of flirting: lie.
Anyway, less talk, more action. I am solemnly requesting more photos.
Sorry, Jakenumber, I’m not giving out more photos at the moment. And I don’t lie when I flirt, that’s cheating. Teasing, bantering, and making some of the worst puns in history — sure, for a laugh. But not letting the truth be known is a sure way to get into trouble, like the poor sap who I helped out yesterday right after he found out that his ‘girlfriend’ of a few months had been with another guy for years. twitch
There’s a babe contest? NOOOOO! Next you’ll be telling me Kerry was in ‘Nam
Lost control of your people huh?
jonag —
I’m not exactly a model for famlily life… still a bachelor and still no kids…
But I gotta say I found your essay pretty persuasive. It’s so Big Picture, and Long View and simply Devious about breeding conservatives!! I love it.
Plus it has the added effect of completely pissing off so many liberals over so many generations!
What did you expect, jonag? We should all have been less witty and babe-ish, and this wouldn’t have been a problem. Either that, or Frank shouldn’t have offered such cool shirts so we wouldn’t care about the results.
Cool shirt? I’m in it for the big bucks! There are big bucks, aren’t there.
Hmmm….Tuff on the judges.
jonag is tapping into the Roe effect that Taranto talks about on Best of the Web. If liberal families are more likely to have abortions than conservative families, then there will be more conservatives in the future who oppose abortion.
But then, won’t the children of the Conservatives later rebel, and become Liberals?
I’d just like to say kudos to all the contestants. Looks like this will be a tough decision – my compliments to you all.
Also, my vote can be bought. Please post your bribes here.
-Doug
ThoseShirts.com
Eldarblood, no because children nowadays are learning to actually respect their parents/elders and are becoming more conservative than the preceding generation. (Listen to me cuz I know- I’m part of this trend!)
krakatoa, no complimenting jonag!
and where’s my stalker/fan website? you promised! =P
Oh damn… ok Dan how much for the 5 pointer? And is this cash… or other things??
Ooh, my kind of guy! 😉 Did you see in the other thread about the whipped cream wrestling match? The prospect of that should count as the bribe on behalf of myself and BerkeleyGirl. =)
Fine with me! Ok Dan, just name the time and place… 😉
Hey BerkeleyGirl,
Butt out!! Krakatoa can say whatever he wants, it’s a free country after all!!
Now, Krakatoa, where were we?… oh yes, you were gushing about my eyes….hmmmmm….
“krakatoa, no complimenting jonag!
and where’s my stalker/fan website? you promised! =P”
Oh baby, that was just pillowtalk. (name that movie)
Tell you what, I’m unemployed with nothing better to do right now. I’ll start looking up info on starting my own blog, and if I manage to get one running, I will dedicate a section to internet stalking!
Of course, if the SanFran job comes through, I’ll be almost close enough to stalk you for real. Then I could actually post pics! 😛
Okay, Doug, let’s see… Krakatoa, you can go to thoseshirts.com and get the re-print of the NTM shirt that you wanted. There. Or does steering business your way not count?
jonag-
You’re married (and supposedly committed =P) and I’m not. I win.
🙂
Teens rebel, but not as often in political ways. From my parent’s conservative family of 6 kids, none became liberal. But some did rebel in other ways, though.
All of the women I mentioned previously are amazingly and stupendously ridiculous. I would give anything for a chance to meet any one of you much less date or be with you. Like I said previously…your significant others are the most lucky men on the planet.
Damn Dan, how do you not have a girlfriend? Cuz you’re sure working it online at least!
I’m supposed to be /ridiculous/ to be a babe?!? Is that what I’ve been doing wrong?
BerkeleyGirl,
I think the fact that I am married (and committed) already makes ME the winner! Boo hoo for you! 😉
Nony Mouse – you didn’t post your picture really – you hide your face and you should never do that. To be honest (in my opinion) it never matters what you look like because someone will always think that you are the most beautiful person that they ever met. You never know … but never be afraid to show who you are.
BG – I’d never deny an offer from you 🙂
Lol, I guess instead of looking for a boyfriend in Berkeley, I should be looking in the comments section of IMAO!
They say I’m a good guy
Dan
jonag- =P
Dan- oh really??
BerkeleyChick- no kidding… all the cute ones up here are gay anyways, so it’s kinda pointless!
Of course they’re gay, they’re all liberals.
And yes Carissa, you offer and I would accept. 🙂
The last post was from me,
Dan
If I had the ability to be a judge, my vote would go for BerkeleyGirl. Of course, since I was in Tel Aviv for three days, there was plenty of hawkish inspiration for a judge entry (yelling obsene things, mainly what sounded like Yob Tvoyu Maht, at suspicious looking Palestinians in semi-communicable Russian – the closest language to Arabic I kind-of know.) But, I didn’t want to go to the internet cafe for the obvious reasons (not enough kevlar in the world).
Well I don’t know Dan, you were kissing CCinCali earlier today… =P
Thanks Masada. 🙂
Well, gee, BerkeleyGirl, I thought there were some cute guys over at Ames when I visited the place, and I’m fairly sure there were a few who were straight /and/ looking. Or do you not go for the plane-crazy types?
Wow, Frank. This is an impressive crew for a t-shirt contest. Limiting it to just 5 is actually hard…
Well, the straight AND cute ones up here are just way too rare- so they’re basically all taken already. Plus, odds are they’re liberal, and I couldn’t stand having to constantly bitchslap my significant other… Oh well, I’m young, I have time…
Been with a liberal girl, and then a conservative (well, libertarian) one. My conclusion is that it’s definitely worth the extra effort and time to find someone who’s not a liberal.
Unfortunately, it appears that more women than men are liberals, so you conservative girls should be pretty lucky in the love department. It makes it alot easier for you to find a good man. Sucks for us guys though.
Sigh
At least we have contests like this to let us know that there is some hope out there.
That’s right BerkeleyChick.. you can find all your needs right here at IMAO. It’s like Walmart and the Dating Game all rolled into one!
I think all the potential babes have made some really great entries, and I’m not just saying that.
Well ok, I did JUST say it, but I wasn’t just saying it to be diplomatic. 😛
A conservative female is something to be cherished, whether they be hippie-beaters from Cali, mothers of future conservative voters, or even a chick who can’t walk safely across a sidewalk to pick up her cat!
You all impress the hell out of me. 😉
And I do so love Walmart…no wonder IMAO is the shiznit! =) Ok, the Berkeley girls are off to our Republican club meeting. Think good thoughts about how sexy we are while we’re gone!
All that and you love Walmart too? All I can say is Wow, you are just about the perfect woman.
But as I recall, you aren’t rich yet. 🙁 Woe is me.
hehehe
I dunno, Jacob, love trancends all political boundaries… that is, unless she’s a communist
goes off on tangent about how I hate Karl Marx so
and if my memory serves me right, Walmart transends all political boundaries at about 850 feet per second too… or maybe that’s .45 acp ammo, I get them confused.
I decided to go the other direction and offer a critique of the ladies of IMAO. Posted it in the Candidates comments.
I feel kindof dirty after posting it…I mean they are all so great… but I was feeling dirty after reading the Berkeley babes stuff anyway so figured before I took a shower, might as well drag ’em all thru the mud with me. 😛
Doug,
I bake realllly gooood cooookies. What’s yer pleasure? ;^)
Well, they could, but I imagine that would have hurt sales from the ‘family-friendly’ portion of the public, and returns due to confusion from a different set.
Aw shiittte. Wasn’t even thinking German/Nazi implication when I chose the photo (from Halloween, was St. Pauly girl), was simply thinking Hot Chick/Alcohol, two visages which tend to impart a sense of happiness better to insure a vote for me. And as for a gun? Hello???
There’s two of ’em in that there photo, boys. Lugers.
Wh-pish!! YOU VILL FOTE FOR ME UND YOU VILL LIKE IT!!!
Wow, Berkeley may not be so bad after all.
So can we root for our chick of choice? If so, I’m going with BerkeleyGirl.
I spent the first 9 yrs. of my life in central CA (San Carlos), so I’m a little partial. And she’s hot. 😀
Disclaimer
And just so I won’t get my rear end beaten, it was a very difficult choice. All of you did a fantastic job.
I agree with Nony Mouse — Frank just has the hottest readers, so interest is huge!
Dan, I have no significant other, but since the Berkeley hotties have your attention, I’ll turn mine to the judges…
um, Doug, I’m currently between jobs, so I can’t buy your vote with money, but i did say really nice things about you on my blog. does that count?
John, I said nice things about you too, for real.
and Frank J, well as always, i love you!! hmm, was that going too far? sorry.
A Recovering Liberal deserves bonus points for being a true cookie baking conservative! Two, oven-mitted thumbs up to you!
Oh why not. My take, from top to bottom, grading both the photo and the essay with the photo being worth twice the points, I say:
11 19 20 13 12 1 7 18 10 16 5 9 2 15 17 6 4 3 14 8
The top 8 were very close (4 and 5 actually tied). I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t win the contest to judge.
Elise,
Marry me?
–A Pirate
SarahK,
You were somewhere around second for me. Major points for being blonde and using a gun.
BerkleyChick (Reva) and Miss Beca have not received nearly enough Kudos. Yes, Ms. Beca, War IS sexy ;).
Frank,
I’m in the market for a good hold-out/pocket pistol…recommendations?
Thanks, miranda!
I’m whippin’ up some chocolate chip and some oatmeal/raisin (my great-grandmother’s recipe) this weekend. Want some? Just send me a snail-mail (c:
Capitalism ends tomorrow.
F*** capitalism. I want to see it fall tomorrow.
F*** CAPITALISM.
JUST WAIT TILL SATURDAY!
Capitalism will fall in 24 hours.
F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F***
Tomorrow the left-wing coalition is going to fight capitalism physically.
TIME FOR XTREME REVOLUTION!
TIME TO GET RID OF THE CANCER.
TIME TO GET RID OF CAPITALISM. AND WE’RE STARTING IN BRITAIN AND AMERICA.
Elise is the babe, ya gotta love a chick that can effectively use the phrase “f***ing pussies”.
oh, wait…there were pictures?
oh no! the revolution is near! i am frightened! perhaps one of the t-shirt babes can comfort me…
Frank,
Time for the LAST limey post…
I can’t figure out why more people aren’t singing the praises of the absolutely adorable Miranda. Not only is she gorgeous and (to judge by her smile) impish, she also knows how to dress modestly and well.
Top Five easy.
Tony sent an email to over thrity IMAO members. He informed them that the revolution is near. Brilliant.
Sorry spelling mistake. I meant thirty members.
The naming and shaming continues.
Tony showed me that email before he sent it to half of IMAO’s fans. Absolutely brilliant.
I wonder if Frank will even mention the email to thirty-something members of this website. After all this is Frank Jackass – king of propaganda.
YES – I Got an e-mail from the limey!
Please please PLEASE tell me how your pansy 20 year old ass is gonna kill me?
This is what happens when you ask Americans to give (especially when you ask to give for our soldiers), and let’s remind people that even though the goal has been met, lets keep giving!!!
From opinionjounal.com “This is a remarkable story of can-do. I think it is also the story of a nation willing to do more than it has been asked by the Bush administration. It is about the need for an Iraqi home front.
The column describing Spirit of America’s effort to raise $100,000 for the TV stations appeared in this space 14 days ago. Since then, the following has happened:
Jim Hake, Spirit of America’s entrepreneur founder, says they have received $1.52 million. Some 7,000 donations have come from every state, and one from . . . France.”
http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/dhenninger/?id=110005024
Goddamnit you limey bastard! Where’s my email!
I conspire with Zionists and I conspire with Zionists and I never get any Limeygrams.
I’m going to go sulk at the firing range with my uzi 🙁
I figure the Berkley girl/chick combination should be the winner. With the excess of hippies there they could start a new trend. And really piss off their professors.
Ha! I got a Limey e-mail, and the subject line made it look like spam, so I deleted it. I wonder if I got threatened as well?
I did leave out Miranda, sorry but you definitely make the top 5
Also Serenity, great idea pave France, and Miss Becca to round it out, but that is just my opinion
–Well, I got my email, too. I’m… trying… very… hard… to… control… my… excitement… … … TOMORROW!! THEY SAID TOMORROW!!! Please, someone tell me… does it really mean that they will come out of the woodwork and try to physically hurt us??? Dear Lord, think of it!! It will be like rabbit hunting, only you just stand there and wait for the rabbits to charge at you- then you just aim, hold, and squeeze…
–Okay… deep breath… of course it is just the stupid, f’ing limey making more stupid f’ing limey noise.
–I’ll grab some extra ammo, just in case. I can always use it up on my fully poseable Kim Jong Il action target figure.
Serenity and Miranda – you are gorgeous, and were I a judge, I’d be torn between the two of you. Were I Frank, I’d pick you both… Good luck!
Oh, and it’s nice to see that XTREME DUM, Johnny Dope, Curl, and the Spinach Militant are (ha, actually that should be “is” since those four are singular) still alive and kickin’.
There ya go ladies – for the tie-breaker – let’s hear your plans for what to do with this guy (Spinach Militant et al.) It’s kind of like the Miss America thing where the girls always blather on about wanting world peace blah blah blah, but YOU actually get the opportunity to say what really needs to be said! Ready, set, GO!
I’d like to string him up by his nose (that sounded painful enough) for putting that crap in my email box where my kids can see it!! Let me at him!!
Okay – we have jonag’s expression of outrage and revenge – what about the rest of you ladies? What to do to the Limey? How to prevent capitalism falling forever tomorrow?
The guy’s just a big retard, no action is really necessary… although I did just learn some fun bayonet tactics in training today… 😉
Actually I think if you just left him alone in a room with all 20 contestants that would be a good start. He would begin having visions of Islamic Paradise. That is until we worked him over, then he would have no vision at all.
I agree with jonag. And sarahk should bring her gun. Definitely.
to the limey–well, there’s my all time favorite, the Boston 2-step. or we could put a lit M-80 in his mouth and watch his head blow apart.
and as far as preventing capitalism’s downfall–go buy stuff. alternately, one could contribute to the “buy beca something nice” fund, and i will singlehandedly do my best to keep capitalism afloat.
keep in mind i did not see this email of which we speak when considering my answers.
B.
Thanks for the kind words guys 🙂
And for the cookies in advance, Recovering!
What should we do with the Limey?
Have him confined in close quarters with Helen Thomas with only a copy of Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations and a Monopoly board for entertainment.
Oh, and of course Helen’s delightful company and conversation!
Well, I didn’t get his… entertaining? email myself, so I can’t reply in kind. But he seems to be the type that needs a quiet room with nothing sharp while someone gently breaks him loose from the fantasy world he’s been believing exists. And then you bring in the Cluebat. About halfway through, he’ll probably start realizing what a, um, dimwit he’s been and repent (by definition, if he hasn’t figured it out yet, you aren’t half-way through).
i agree with all the other ladies, but would like to add that with the Cluebat, we break his legs and smash his kneecaps. then we gouge out his eyes with his own fingers… oh, who am i kidding? Recovering Liberal is right, i’m bringing my gun (and i hope Miss Beca brings hers). Miranda, you’re so much nicer than me, but i do love the idea of beating him down with capitalism. jonag, we’ll have him begging for his 72 raisins.
We COULD beat him down, but sitting Helen in his lap might accomplish the same thing and is ultimately crueler.
Still, I won’t object to a few smacks to the Achilles Tendons!
sarah–count me in!
b
Laugh That’s beautiful, Beo 😉
May 1st, I’ll be at the range. In respect to the limey’s email, I think I’ll pick up some limes for targets.
Miranda: You scare me. Locked in a room with Helen Thomas? (shudders)
Let that be a lesson to you! Don’t be a Limey!
Yeah, I think you’re winning the contest in my heart, Miranda… 😉
I don’t think there’s any reason to limit ourselves to one tactic or another. After all, there are a lot of “Limeys” out there, and I’m sure we’d get bored without a little variety. So one day Helen Thomas, one day kneecaps…you know, keep them on their toes. =)
And that’s the contest that counts! 😉 To ten!
Fair enought! I claim Tuesday, BerkeleyChick 😉
Arg! That should be “enough.” Obviously I’m losing the spelling contest 😉
Always did like Dan Quayle.
I just wanted the comments to reach 100, and no one else was doing it. =)
Berkeley Girl and Berkeley Chick> I know of one guy who you might like. He’s a grad student named Josh Wurzel, and he got his Engineering BS at Berkeley, too.
http://www.kicktothenuts.com
He’s a male Engineer who bathes, too 😉
Krakatoa (name that movie) – Army of Darkness? Just so you know I’m paying attention.
Anyway, I’ve got my pick. Eight to five on Willow.
Well done Todd! I can tell you have excellent taste in cinema! Frank J…. give that man a t-shirt! 😛 Riiiiight.
Ok…this is never easy…
In no noticable order…
The Berkley ladies…(I vote for a dual title…they can model them together!)
Heather (as I’m a long time fan)
SarahK (though a gun saftey refresher course is in order…never keep your finger on the trigger unless you’re actually shooting)
and Willow (Helllllooooo Nurse!).
“Lost in time, surrounded by evil, low on gas.”
Flawless.
Oho – the comments section has moved. I originally commented in a previous thread – I am reposting here. The voice of reason must be heard by the judges before it is too late.
I am a first-time visitor to IMAO.
I came to see the pictures of pretty women.
I was not disappointed.
There are some strong candidates, including the woman with a facial expression that indicates indifference pointing a pistol at the camera. Nice.
However, there can be only one, and judges, take heed; there is only one to choose from.
Carissa (aka Berkeley Girl) is, IMHO, ultra-sweet and the obvious choice. She has everything anybody requires to be a superior t-shirt model.
What does the shirt say? Who cares? She’d look good in a Che Guevera or a Pat Buchannan shirt.
What style of t-shirt is it? low cut? mock turtle? wife-beater? Again, this matters not. Carissa has the hair, eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, bust and curves to make any style of shirt shine like the sun. She would make anyone want to read the small print (please, let me read the small print).
These are the facts. Hopefully the judges will choose wisely.
If my opinion meant anything, I would go on longer. If physically threatening someone would do any good, then I would punch any man, woman or child in the face for this “Carissa”.
Thanks for a great first-time visit. I suggest holding such contests on a weekly basis.
cracking up
So what you need, Jakenumber, is one of those buttons with tiny print that says “Cleavage Inspector, Thank You!” so that any lady who bends closer to read it will give you a nice view?
Well, if thinly veiled threats of violence accomplish something, here goes:
“You judges better vote for Miranda if you know what’s good for you. And you DO know what’s good for you, right? Ahem.”
Did anyone witness the “revolution”? Saturday, May 1st came and went, but I missed the Revolution. All this hype, the (retarded) e-mail, and for what? Stupid Limey, just like a liberal: all threats, no balls.
YAY CAPITALISM!
Sorry, Jakenumber, I’m a fairly hopeless flirt. I couldn’t have a picture up that didn’t have some of that with it, now could I? But I thought the copy I sent out at least showed the details of the shirt and where my waist and hips were a bit better.. oh well, I will not be too terribly disappointed if I loose to the members of my competition I thought deserved the win.
Jake — do you have Jenny’s number? 😛
Welcome to the jungle that is IMAO. This is a monkey-free jungle, with the exception of a token monkey by the name of Spacemonkey.
Krak;
Jenny’s number is on the wall.
Thanks, BTW, it’s an interesting site. Lucky for IMAO, I actually am a monkey; a very well-trained and high-functioning super monkey.
Nona;
I am also a pathetic flirt, as I tend to talk straight to strangers, which violates the golden rule of flirting: lie.
Anyway, less talk, more action. I am solemnly requesting more photos.
Sorry, Jakenumber, I’m not giving out more photos at the moment. And I don’t lie when I flirt, that’s cheating. Teasing, bantering, and making some of the worst puns in history — sure, for a laugh. But not letting the truth be known is a sure way to get into trouble, like the poor sap who I helped out yesterday right after he found out that his ‘girlfriend’ of a few months had been with another guy for years. twitch