The concept of the babe in advertising goes back to Adam Smith, who set forth the principle of the invisible hand and the highly visible babe. Thus, to increase my t-shirt sales and further my empire, it has come to my attention that I need an IMAO t-shirt babe.
Such a venture cannot be taken lightly. That’s why I’ve asked the best of the blogosphere to help judge those who would compete for the esteemed title of IMAO T-Shirt Babe. The judges are:
* Me, Frank J., genius extraordinaire and creator of IMAO
* Doug the T-Shirt Guy, capitalistic owner of ThoseShirts.com
* Emperor Misha I, ruler of the blog The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
* Harvey, author of the blog Bad Money and winner of the contest that never happened and will not be mentioned again
* Bill Whittle, brilliant essayist and guy in flight suit from Eject! Eject! Eject!
* Blackfive, victim of the French’s greatest military victory ever (he got a reprimand for insulting a French General)
* John Hawkins, pundit/interviewer/humorist of Right Wing News
* Glenn Reynolds, author of Instapundit and supreme overlord of the blogosphere
Plus, one more judge will be added by a short contest that I will detail below.
So, ladies, you are probably asking yourself what you need to do to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. First, be a babe. Second, have a photo taken (it needs to be recent) displaying your babeness. Third, to prove your babeness, write a short (200 words or less) hawkish statement (we can’t have someone wearing a, anti-terrorist t-shirt who deosn’t actually want terrorists dead). Finally, e-mail a digital copy of the photo, your short essay, name, and website URL (if you have one) to me with the subject “IMAO T-Shirt Babe”.
What are the prizes, you ask? Well, you win the job of IMAO T-Shirt Babe, and what could look better on a resume for a future model than that (Answer: Nothing!). Plus, you’ll be adding one more job to the economy thus helping Bush get reelected. You will receive all the IMAO t-shirts, of course, so you can model them. And, as payment for the modeling pictures, you will receive one hundred dollars cash (or check or paypal… whatever works for ya) and a $100 shopping spree at ThoseShirts.com. Plus, if you do a good job, Doug the T-shirt Guy may have more modeling work for you. Also, depending on participation, I may have t-shirt prizes for finalists. And, I might add as a prize a date with me, but I’m afraid a prize like that might make it sound like I’m too desperate to get a t-shirt babe.
To give everyone plenty of time, the deadline is three weeks from now, April, 28th, 11:59AM eastern time.
So spread the word, ring the bells, and notify the press; the contest has begun. Good luck to all participants, though only one will achieve the immortality that is being the IMAO T-Shirt Babe.
Judge Contest: So the guys have a contest too, I’m giving you a chance to join the crËme de la crËme of the blogosphere (and Harvey) in being a judge. To enter write a short (100-words or less) over the top statement about how IMAO the best website… nay… the best thing ever. E-mail it and your preferred appellation to me with the subject “IMAO is Super Great!” and I’ll pick my favorite (and thus the winner). If it’s really good and pithy, not only will you get to be judge, but your statement and name will end up on my sidebar. You have 48 hours from the time of this post to enter.
All entries will become property of IMAO. Immediate family of the judges are ineligible to enter. Void where prohibited (if you live in one of these prohibited void places, please tell me; I’m curious).
UPDATE: The reason there are no female judges is that, if I asked a woman to be a judge, she would then be ineligible to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, and I just can’t take that dream away from anyone.
wow…the only thing better than being an IMAO T-Shirt Babe is to be an IMAO T-Shirt Babe Judge!
I’ll get right on it.
So…how do you recruit the young lady from Protest Warrior for this?
You all know who I’m talking about.
mmmmm sprinkles…
LOVE the Adam Smith reference!
Just ask some girl out. You really don’t have to go through all this effort. I’m sure some young women would be happy to go out with you at least once.
I assure you this is about money and not love.
Rob,
If you know people who might be a good candidate, e-mail her about this. Spread the word!
How can you not love money? Oh wait, I see what you’re saying.
Hey, how come you don’t have any female judges?? Aren’t women capable of judging babehood? 😉
Off to badger the wife!!
I was about to write up an application when I read the tattoo on my leg “Who am I to judge?”
Don’t worry. It’s a temporary tattoo. Tomorrow, it will say “Contains animal byproducts.”
Babe Contest
Frank J. is looking for babes to model his T-Shirts. The prize? $100 worth of t-shirts and as much Bloggy Exposure as there are yahoos that find him funny…which I oddly do sometimes…I can’t explain it…it’s like being in high…
The Limey e-mail will appear tomorrow, for those concerned. Also, I have temporarily banned the socialist revolutionaries (who, conviently, shared the same IP) until I have more time to deal with them. Today is supposed to be about the babes.
Odd, I did not think this was the Schizophrenic comment section. Let me see how many people I can be today. “OOhh i’ll post back to back with different name and they will think there is a whole bunch of us”
You are truly a comic Limey!!!
Oh yeah,
Wanker.
Laurence,
Sorry. You were on the backup list if the first people I asked opted out.
Are You A Babe?
If so, go check out Frank’s hot babe contest. It pays….
The sad thing is, thanks to the anonymity of the internet, I don’t know anyone.
Tell It to the Judge
…meaning me. I’ll be helping Humorous Blogger Frank J. pick out a IMAO t-shirt babe. Among others, Glenn Reynolds, Misha, Bill Whittle, Harvey (I think he’s the only Harvey in the Blogosphere), John Hawkins, and one (yet to be determined)
I LOVE this country (sniff)!
I’m wondering if the IMAO babe could be a fuller-figured woman instead of a more usual stick-thin waif. After all, without strong, hardy (and beautiful!) women, America wouldn’t be the great country it is today.
Courting Disaster
Well, I’ve entered this IMAO contest. No, the one to be a judge you doofus. I think my essay is as over the top as you can get. You be the judge. Actually, Frank will be the judge, but just…
Amen, brother.
What’s this going to do for your effort to replace Jonah?
You better ask Lowry to be a judge before Goldberg steals the idea.
How about instead of a t-shirt babe contest, we have a WET t-shirt babe contest?
Question: Does the entry of your girlfriend into the Babe Contest then cause a Prohibited Void to open up engulfing you and thus preventing you from entering the competition to be a judge?
James, you gotta remember The Children man! However, maybe Frank could use it to pull off a good publicity stunt like Janet did… you know, to help steal Goldberg’s job… or get on the role of smut filtering proxies.
I’m stupid. It should be “roll” no “role”… unless smut filtering proxies are putting on a broadway show.
Chance Of A Lifetime, Ladies
Frank J. is looking for an IMAO T Shirt Babe. This could be your chance for fame and fortune. Well,…
IMAO Judge the IMAO babe contest
I have entered Frank J’s IMAO be the judge for the IMAO babe contest. I am confident that I will win, because what kind of person would not recognize my amazing brilliance? Here is my entry: What strikes fear into…
Denny.. I agree with you…. You are stupid.
Stupid is as stupid does
exactly.
Full Figured? Married? I think the Bloodhound Gang said it best: “I like my women like I like my cheese—Fat Free American Singles”
YAAAY!!! contest is finally up and running, and such great prizes too! I’m looking forward to a fun-filled competition… (but don’t be advertising to “babes” who don’t read the website, I don’t want THAT much competition! =P)
GNCynic, I’ll try to represent for those non-anorexic girls out there, and for those in uniform 😉 And Frank, what happens if you want to opt for the “No I swear I’m not desperate!” date, but the winner lives far away?
frank, can 2 sisters enter together to be co-babes? we’ll share the prizes (except the date — she’s taken).
Hey Evil… you can have all the fat free American singles…they all are like the cheese… imitations of the real woman in the US.
LOL!! Good post
Sarah,
I think a tag team would be unfair, so you sisters will have to compete against each other. Hopefully it won’t tear you two apart, but at least it will be over something important.
Cynic,
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (in this case, the judges).
BerkeleyGirl,
Whether the completely optional date comes with an all expense paid trip is completely up to judicial discretion 🙂
That’s Frank when desperate for his babe.
sigh, shut the f*** up already
FYI, to the imposter “Denny” who posted at April 7, 2004 01:57 PM… I don’t use cheesy Gumpisms. Next time you want to be me try something witty with a little mixture of stupid… or just stupid. Either works fine.
hmm. she’d definitely beat me, so i choose to not tell her about the contest. is that cheating? or is it only cheating if i would have any chance of winning?
sarah,
Have some self-esteem and give it your all.
Anonymous,
You’re getting on my nerves.
Hey Frank if my wife enters the contest and wins, and turns you down for the date can I take the date instead. I promise to whear something short and sexy.
Beltway Traffic Jam
The Wednesday linkfest: Jon Henke gets a whole post out of trolling his blogroll. How lame. Discount Blogger is open to graffiti while Michael vacations….
If your wife dates you is entirely up to her.
i’ve got plenty of self esteem. i typically toggle back & forth between self-effacing and self-praising. that way no one gets tired of either, and everybody loves me.
Well Frank, as long as you’re not relying on the 9th circuit for your “judicial discretion”, then it’s all right by me! =P But I’m still not quite sure what to write for my entry… sigh I’ll figure sonething out I guess
Frank, just one question. It’s not that I am obsessed with age, but how many of the judges are under 30 ? Aren’t you fearing that your babe got selected in the senior categories while… huh… you’re almost a junior ?
I know that all this is a question of money, not of love, but the babe will be the venture of your shirts… aren’t you fearing too much unappreciated judgment for the choice ?
Just wondered.
Amphi,
Actually, I hadn’t thought of that. But I think my readership skews higher than my age as well. Babe is a babe, whatever the age.
You say babe is a babe, whatever the age – but are there any age limits on entering?
Whatever is in reason.
Yes, It’s Cycling Season
Wow, April already. The bike and I did our first outdoor dance since December last Friday. Creve Coeur Park has expanded its trail from 5 miles to about 9 miles with a planned extension all the way to the Katy Trail. There’re now some hills (thankfully…
Frank
Most babes I know who I could ask to do this are minors (around 15-16, sophmores in High School), so I don’t know if that is too young for this contest.
What if Helen Thomas applies? 😉
I nominate Jolene Blaylock.
Shockwave,
Maybe I should have taken that issue on. I was imagining entrant in the late teens to early twenties, but I didn’t want to limit it. Anyone younger than 18, if she want to enter, should probably aim more for “cute” in the picture than “sexy”.
oooo…fun! I’ll have to have someone take my picture…perhaps leaning against a hot car…I am the official Motor City Pinup, after all…anything against t-shirts and skirts? ;D
Hey Frank, can I nominate the pretty blonde girl from the “Peace Through Superior Firepower” t-shirt ads, or are you only looking for someone without previous t-shirt babe experience?
A Job!
So as I may have mentioned before, I’ve been accepted to a doctoral program in Minnesota. Yippee. I have an apartment picked out, I’m registered for classes, so I’m all set, right? Wrong. I need to pay rent and other…
Listening To…
…Yellow Card – “Ocean Avenue”. It rocks. Listened to it while I ordered a Nuke the Moon shirt (Frank’s got more of them – and, no, Mrs. Blackfive is not eligible for the t-shirt contest). Switching to Social D –
If there’s any justice in the world
Frank J, over at the excellent IMAO, is conducting a search for the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. Entrants must write a 200-word or less hawkish statement, and provide a piccie of their babeness. We have entered shell: Statement: In the War…
New Filthy Lie
And here’s another Alliance assignment: What is Evil Glenn looking at in this picture? or Caption this picture. Lots of possibilities exist. Let’s take a look: 1) “Do I look sexy in this T-shirt or what?” 2) “Hey, I wonder…
Dear Sir,
We are pleased to introduce ourself that we have been arrange to supply the T-shirt from Bangladesh about 10 years.
We would like to serve you with our best effort for your satisfaction.
If any order/inquiry kindly feel free to send us.
Your kind reply to be highly appriciated.
Thanks & best regards
Atiar