It is time to select what shall be the description for the Know Thy Enemy: Liberals t-shirt. I forgot to write down the names of who wrote what, but I have their e-mail somewhere, so I can contact them when needed.
So now vote… and then buy t-shirt!
1. Liberals are bad, very bad. You have no idea how vastly hugely mindbogglingly bad liberals are. Almost worse than monkeys. Treacherous thieves and traitorous knaves, liberals are Sith-like lying gollums of evil. Protect yourselves and your loved ones with Frank J’s patented “Know Thy Enemy: Liberals” T-shirt. Guaranteed protection for Regean’s Ronin. Armed with truth, you can’t lose.
2. Liking the French is bad enough–but it’s merely a tenet of liberalism, a ridiculous political theory centered on destroying the U.S. and the rights of its people. Liberalism encourages changing positions on issues, fighting logic with crude signs, taking away guns, hard-earned cash, and sovereignty, bastardizing cars for “safety” purposes, and more–including requiring us to run plans for homeland defense through our enemies first! The threat of liberalism can’t be combated with guns, so you’ll need this shirt. Not only will it drive away liberals by encouraging free speech, but it’ll also win weak-minded, uninformed swing voters.
3. We wouldn’t send our troops out to fight the terrorists without body armor (unless you’re Kerry), and neither can we at home battle the domestic evil of liberalism without the proper gear. Wearing this t-shirt will both remind you of what to look out for and help educate your neighbors on how to best defeat this internal threat to our safety. And t-shirt babes agree: nothing is sexier than pre-shrunk cotton!
4. We must empower ourselves and our fellow citizens to recognize liberals in all their various forms. Because with all these lunatic protesters, dirty hippies, and big-government socialists running around, is it any wonder all the other galaxies are pulling away from us? Please do your part to raise awareness – and to keep the universe from flying apart. Buy this t-shirt today.
5. First the judges confiscated your crosses, holy water and garlic under “separation of Church and State”. Now you are going to need another method to keep liberals at bay. Apparently driving a stake through someone’s heart is illegal in America, so you’ll need the next best
thing: Frank’s “Know Thy Enemy: Liberals” t-shirt. Its 100% preshrunk cotton, 100% American and 100% kick-ass.
6. Being easily confused and disoriented by the truth, wearing this t-shirt may actually cause Liberals to surrender to you! Do not be surprised to see one approach you bearing a white flag on a stick. The best way to handle this situation is to simply say, “Bad Liberal!” and promptly smack their nose with the stick. You can then use the white flag to wipe your hands of any granola or tofu smudged all of the stick!
POLL CLOSED
Now buy t-shirt!
I guess I did not make the cut. hhmmm
First!
no peeking!
I didn’t enter….writers block. But what’s with not letting us see the results?! What is this, a dictatorship? It is? Oh sorry….sir…your honor…your highess…Frank.
More suspense that way.
I can only add that “…how vastly hugely mindbogglingly bad liberals are…” is paraphrased/stolen from Douglas Adams. Still, it’s well used.
I just found out I’m GOING TO SEE SEAN HANNITY ON TUESDAY!!!!! Guess what I’ll be wearing??? My Nuke The Moon shirt of course!!! WooHoo!!!
I voted for my favorite, but I think you should use ALL of them. Very creative contributors!!
Holy Crap! Mine is #1!!!! (and I am a HUGE Douglas Adams fan, waiting eagerly for the new movie)
Yeah, I agree that maybe they could get rotated. I’d hate to lose some of those, maybe save them for other t-shirts?
Thanks for nominating my blurb Frank! Um, not to toot my own horn, but its #5.
Well, well. Thanks a bunch if you’re voting for #2. And if you’re not…heck, the others are good, too. ‘Course, I have my preference. Thanks for posting it, Frank.
“–including requiring us to run plans for homeland defense through our enemies first! ”
but what if said plans were engraved on a pointy stick ?
So the question is, will it help or hurt my vote-getting if I tell people mine is entry number three? I wasn’t going to say it, but if other people are saying which theirs is… =) I figured if I couldn’t be the t-shirt babe, at least I could be a t-shirt description writer! So good luck to everyone (but remember to vote for 3! 😉 )
Tossup between #2 and #3
I’m devastated mine didn’t make the final cut – I’m calling the ACLU, dammit! Where’s the Rev. Jesse Jackson when you need him! I demand a recount for the hanging chads! sigh.
No offense intended to the author of #1, but if #1 wins, it will need a few spelling and capitalization changes:
mind-bogglingly
Gollums
Reagan’s
I’m just saying.
I guess I shouldn’t be worried, since Frank J is a highly educated self-proclaimed spelling and grammar wizard.
Yeah, I wrote it a little fast, but I’m sure Frank would gladly edit it. One question, why capitalize gollums?