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“Why are you only going 35 mph?” Saddam demanded.
“Because we’re in a school zone,” Zarqawi answered.
“But you blow up children all the time!”
Zarqawi thought for a moment and then slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, I’m a terrorist. Duh.”
He then sent the Ford Bronco full speed through a school crossing.

“That is not how you do a low speed chase,” Dubya complained as he watched the white vehicle speed away, “and my horse is lumpy!”
“It’s a camel, son,” George Bush Sr. responded.
Dubya punched his camel in the head. “That’s for getting kids to smoke!”
The camel turned and spit in Dubya’s face.
“Aieee! They have defenses of some sort!”

“You know what I want, Saddam,” Zarqawi stated as they continued to drive away.
“Bah! You cannot control such power!” Saddam answered.
“You will help me, or I will give you back to the Americans!”
“Fine. But the weapon will be mine so I can regain my presidency. Then I’ll help you out in your cause.”
“You’ll rid the Middle East of the Americans and the jooos?” Zarqawi asked hopefully.
“Except for my lawyer; I might need him.” Saddam then noticed something in the passenger side mirror. “We’re being attacked by George Bushes!”

George Bush Sr. and son were right up next to the Ford Bronco on a motorcycle. “Do you hear anything, son?”
“Yeah, they’re discussing something about how they don’t want us to hear about… uh… Stalin’s secret stash. Oh, and now they’re talking about using a gun to shoot the two of us.”
“Die American dog-pigs!” Saddam yelled as he leaned out the window and fired at the Bushes.
Bush Sr. pulled out a gun. “Time to do what I should have done years ago,” he said as he aimed at Saddam.
Dubya tried to grab the gun. “No! I get kill him! I’m President now!”
“You let go!”
“No, you let go!”
The motorcycle then lost control and ran into a cactus on the side of the road.
“Ow! Cacti are pointy!”

The two Bushes stumbled there way into a nearby military base. “Hey, it’s the president!” shouted Buck the Marine.
“How ya doin’?” Dubya asked as he pulled cactus needles out of his side.
“Well, I’m on my ninth tour of duty here. Any idea when the war in Iraq thingee will be over?”
Dubya shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. Sounds more like a question for my successor’s successor.”
“We need to find out what is this secret stash of Stalin that Saddam and Zarqawi is after,” Bush Sr. said, “Might be some unknown commie weapon.”
“Sounds like it’s time for an adventure!” Dubya exclaimed. “Now where is my adventure hat…”

At a lone tent in the desert, Saddam and Zarqawi slowly entered.
“I know what you seek,” said the blind seer, “but I shall only help those pure of heart.”
“I have ten American dollars,” Saddam announced, pulling out a crumpled ten dollar bill.
“Let’s get going then!”
TO BE CONTINUED…