Cooked dinner, watched a baseball game.
The usual.
So, who’s got Series tickets?
Archive of entries posted on 19th October 2005
IMAO for the Chronically Non-Deaf
Episode 17 – Agenda Driven to Destruction
Fantastic news, everyone! The latest IMAO Podcast (or IMAudio, whatever) is up! Go now! Listen to our podcast!
If you don’t, I’ll make every post on IMAO a bad segue into linking to it until you do! Do it!
This week on the podcast:
ïThe IMAO gang need a plan to destroy some agenda-driven institutions!
ï Frank interviews the founder of the ACLU!
ï Harvey gives you fun facts about Kentucky!
ï SarahK tells us what will happen on ALIAS this season!
ï Laurence Simon tells another Crappy Bedtime Story – this time, the Frog Prince!
ï Promo for a new Hollywood show!
ï IMAO creates our own agenda-driven institutions! and more! (or maybe that’s all)
You Call That a Plan?
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Some high-up Al-Qaeda nutjob wrote a letter to his superior Al-Qaeda nutjob proposing a “plan” for the future of Islamofascism:
The first stage: Expel the Americans from Iraq.
The second stage: Establish an Islamic authority or amirate, then develop it and support it until it achieves the level of a caliphate- over as much territory as you can[…]
Which – in terms of practicality – greatly resembles the Underpants Gnomes plan:
1) Collect underpants
2) ???
3) Profit!
or in this case:
1) Get blown up by Americans
2) ???
3) Establish Caliphate!
It’s a good start, but maybe they should consider streamlining it a bit:
1) Get blown up by Americans
2) Die
MUCH better.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
Caption This Photo
I’ll kick things off:
“The Astros game is preempted by Saddam’s trial? I thought I escaped from Iraq to get away from this idiot!”
I’m sure there’s pure comedy gold to be mined from this photo.
Leave your caption in the Comments!
UPDATE: These are great captions, guys. My favorite so far has been from “Robby.”
UPDATE 2: 404’ed? I feel for you, Infinity8ball, my brotha!
FINAL UPDATE: Not counting those 404-error dupes and two pathetically ill-conceived attacks, the photo captions were awesome, guys. My personal faves (in no order) were from Robby, Chris, and AZ Teach. Thanks!
There’s a Hurricane Coming to Florida!
yes, they say it might hit us.
speaking of that, please remember to visit mountaineer musings! thanks!
Is Halloween early this year?
A guy just walked by me wearing the same outfit that Jon Cryer wore as “Ducky” in the movie Pretty In Pink from 1986.
Nineteen eighty-six, for pity’s sake!
Is Halloween early this year or have fashions leapt backwards by two decades?
Speaking of Halloween, Laurence Simon will voice Tinkerbell The Cat and Shmuley, Scribe to the Learned Elders of Zion in the upcoming Halloween episode of the Pure Idiom Podcast. I will be voicing rockstar Alice Cooper, about a dozen commie zombies, and the character that confronts lefty college professor Ward Churchill in a blood-splattered showdown.
WARNING! Listen to Pure Idiom only if you want to hear an uncensored conservative humor podcast that is unafraid to pee-pee off those wacky-pinkytoe liberals.
The Story Is Over… Now What?
Well, maybe it ain’t over…
Anyhoo, since I didn’t have any real plans for it, I followed a reader’s suggestion and posted Superego over at Baen’s Bar in the Astounding Slush section for Baen’s new magazine. Yes, the entire story in order (with a few slight edits as it no longer has 44 different breaks in the story) is there.
If you liked the story, maybe you can go over there and comment on it in the Astounding Slush Comments section (it only takes a second to register). I don’t know if that will help, but it’s worth a shot.
I still plan a discussion of the story here when comments stop being buggy, but we can start one there… especially if you have any questions about the story.
BTW, there’s a surprise about the story hidden over there… something I haven’t mentioned here. Actually, if we get a discussion going over at Baen’s Bar in the Astounding Slush Comments section (under the “Superego Comments Take 2” post) to make me look impressive, I’ll reward you all with that secret for free instead of tricking you into paying for it as I originally planned.
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In My World: Saddam on Trial
“As going with Iraqi law, I am once again offering everyone a pretrial mint,” the judge said. The bailiff then walked around the audience with a bowl of mints. “Since we’re still waiting on the results of the vote on the Constitution and we don’t have any other rules about trials other than the mints, I’ll just play this by ear. If you don’t like how I’m running things, there’s a suggestion box in the back. Once everyone is done consuming his or her mint, we shall start again for the day on the trial of Saddam Hussein.”
Former President George Bush Sr. took the stand. “Saddam tried to have me killed. That was not prudent.”
“He tried to kill my daddy!” Dubya yelled, jumping to his feet and pointing to the slightly perturbed looking Saddam. “He’s a bad man!”
The judge used an air horn to restore silence. “There will be no jumping and shouting in my courtroom… except on casual court rules Fridays.”
Laura urged Dubya back into his seat.
“Isn’t it true that you fought against Iraq’s military and then imposed sanctions against his country?” Saddam’s lawyer questioned the elder Bush.
“Yes, but we’re America; what’s wrong with that?”
“They agitated me into invading Kuwait,” Saddam said mournfully, “All I really wanted was a basket full of kittens, but the means Americans couldn’t let me be a dictator in peace!”
“If you’re going to interrupt, Saddam,” the judge warned, “then I’m going to let someone from the other side interrupt for balance.” He pointed to Dubya.
Dubya sprung to his feet and held his wooden chair in the air. “You’re a bad man, and I’m going to beat you to death with this chair!”
The judge blew his air horn again. “There will be no chair fights in my courtroom! If you are going to beat Saddam to death, you take it outside!”
“But it’s hot out there!” Dubya complained as Laura put him back in his seat.
Dubya took the stand next. “So, Mr. American President,” said Saddam’s lawyer, “what were you thinking when you nominated Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court?”
“I don’t think that’s relevant,” Dubya answered.
“Please answer the questions,” the judge said, “I’m curious about that one.”
“Me too,” said the prosecutor.
“Yeah, what the hell were you thinking, son?” Bush Sr. asked.
“This coming from the guy who appointed Souter?” Dubya shot back.
The bailiff whispered to the judge. “Apparently a new law on courtroom procedures have been passed,” the judge said, “We are supposed to have a break for beverages every ten minutes. Your choice of beverages will be coffee, tea, or Clamato.”
As everyone went for refreshments, Dubya found himself face to face with Saddam. “You gassed those Kurds!” Dubya yelled, “You’re going to get executed for that! I hope you get the gas chamber so you’ll know what it feels like to be in a chamber!”
“Bah, American pig-dog!” Saddam answered, “You’ll never convict me! My lawyer is Jewish!”
“It’s true,” said Saddam’s lawyer, “I celebrate the Sabbath on Saturday.”
“What religion is the prosecutor?” Dubya whispered to Laura.
“Buddhist.”
“Guilt and innocence are but a state of mind,” said the prosecutor.
“Dagnabbit!” Dubya shouted.
Suddenly, Saddam made a dash for the door. “He’s getting away!” yelled the bailiff, sipping his Clamato.
George Bush Sr. and younger pursued. Outside, Saddam jumped into the passenger side of a white Ford Bronco which then began to drive off. They got a glance of the driver, though: Zarqawi!
“I knew they were in cahoots!” Dubya exclaimed, “And now they’re getting away at a speed near 35 mph. It’s time for a low speed chase!”
Bush Sr. stared at leaving vehicle. “A Ford Bronco? They still make those?”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Coming Up on IMAO…
The IMAO book club meeting (the discussion of Superego) will come a bit later. Hosting Matters is going to move IMAO to a new server which should end the problems you might have noticed when you try to comment. I’m going to wait until then.
I finally got an idea for a new In My World™, so I’ll work on that when I have some time.
Stay tuned for that, the podcast, and posts from all your favorite IMAO bloggers.
Podcast Ho!
IMAO Podcast #17 10-19-05
- Introduction
- IMAO vs. Liberal Agenda-Driven Groups (Part 1)
- Laurence Simon’s Crappy Bedtime Stories: The Princess and the Frog
- “World of Knowledge” w/ host Frank J: The Founding of the ACLU
- Spacemonkey’s agenda-driven group
- IMAO vs. Liberal Agenda-Driven Groups (Part 2)
- SarahK reviews the 5th season of “Alias”
- Frank J’s agenda-driven group
- Harvey: Fun Facts About Kentucky Part 1
- Laurence Simon’s agenda-driven group
- Harvey: Fun Facts About Kentucky Part 2
- Coming soon: “Hail to the Hottie”
- IMAO vs. Liberal Agenda-Driven Groups (Part 3)
- Conclusion