Archive of entries posted on 21st October 2005

Evil Glenn’s Alien

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(A Filthy Lie)
Some of you may have seen this Day By Day cartoon and wondered, “Why does Glenn Reynolds have an alien living at his house?”
Turns out it’s not REALLY an alien. It’s Phin, from Phin’s Blog.
It’s all part of Glenn’s plan to destroy any bloggers who might threaten his rulership of the blogosphere. His first target, naturally, was IMAO. After all, it WAS Frank J. who first exposed his puppy-blending habit.
So he hired Phin, who – bitter at not being invited to join IMAO – agreed to use his awesome photoshopping powers to destroy IMAO once and for all.
With dreams of vengeance twisting his mind, he developed an image so inhumanly revolting that a single glance would send any IMAO reader screaming into the night, clawing at his eyes, never to return again to the now-accursed URL of www.imao.us.
The only way to defeat Evil Glenn’s foul plot is to not view the extended entry…

Continue reading ‘Evil Glenn’s Alien’ »

We Have to Defeat This Happy, Amiable Man!

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I just got a fundraising e-mail from the Democrats trying to use Tom Delay’s mug shot against him. So, they have this whole letter bad-mouthing him, and there he is, smiling and looking like the nicest guy in the world.

Picture from fundraising e-mail.
I never had much of an opinion of Tom Delay before, but right now I think he’s the coolest politician ever from how he threw this indictment right back in the Democrats’ faces. Only way this could have been better if the Democrats got him to do the perp walk like they wanted, but he did it while struting to the tune “Staying Alive.”

In My World: The Terrorist and the Dictator

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PREVIOUS

“Why are you only going 35 mph?” Saddam demanded.
“Because we’re in a school zone,” Zarqawi answered.
“But you blow up children all the time!”
Zarqawi thought for a moment and then slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, I’m a terrorist. Duh.”
He then sent the Ford Bronco full speed through a school crossing.

“That is not how you do a low speed chase,” Dubya complained as he watched the white vehicle speed away, “and my horse is lumpy!”
“It’s a camel, son,” George Bush Sr. responded.
Dubya punched his camel in the head. “That’s for getting kids to smoke!”
The camel turned and spit in Dubya’s face.
“Aieee! They have defenses of some sort!”

“You know what I want, Saddam,” Zarqawi stated as they continued to drive away.
“Bah! You cannot control such power!” Saddam answered.
“You will help me, or I will give you back to the Americans!”
“Fine. But the weapon will be mine so I can regain my presidency. Then I’ll help you out in your cause.”
“You’ll rid the Middle East of the Americans and the jooos?” Zarqawi asked hopefully.
“Except for my lawyer; I might need him.” Saddam then noticed something in the passenger side mirror. “We’re being attacked by George Bushes!”

George Bush Sr. and son were right up next to the Ford Bronco on a motorcycle. “Do you hear anything, son?”
“Yeah, they’re discussing something about how they don’t want us to hear about… uh… Stalin’s secret stash. Oh, and now they’re talking about using a gun to shoot the two of us.”
“Die American dog-pigs!” Saddam yelled as he leaned out the window and fired at the Bushes.
Bush Sr. pulled out a gun. “Time to do what I should have done years ago,” he said as he aimed at Saddam.
Dubya tried to grab the gun. “No! I get kill him! I’m President now!”
“You let go!”
“No, you let go!”
The motorcycle then lost control and ran into a cactus on the side of the road.
“Ow! Cacti are pointy!”

The two Bushes stumbled there way into a nearby military base. “Hey, it’s the president!” shouted Buck the Marine.
“How ya doin’?” Dubya asked as he pulled cactus needles out of his side.
“Well, I’m on my ninth tour of duty here. Any idea when the war in Iraq thingee will be over?”
Dubya shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. Sounds more like a question for my successor’s successor.”
“We need to find out what is this secret stash of Stalin that Saddam and Zarqawi is after,” Bush Sr. said, “Might be some unknown commie weapon.”
“Sounds like it’s time for an adventure!” Dubya exclaimed. “Now where is my adventure hat…”

At a lone tent in the desert, Saddam and Zarqawi slowly entered.
“I know what you seek,” said the blind seer, “but I shall only help those pure of heart.”
“I have ten American dollars,” Saddam announced, pulling out a crumpled ten dollar bill.
“Let’s get going then!”
TO BE CONTINUED…

Friday Catblogging

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Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
Today, it’s Nardo the Horribly Stupid attacking a ribbon-toy:


If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Nardo is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
(For more animal goodness, try Friday Ark today and Carnival of the Cats on Sundays.)

Superego Select

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I was hoping to have a bit more of a discussion at Baen’s Bar; if you have some critiques of Superego, please participate. I plan on starting on a regular novel soon – probably back to standard third person – and would like some feedback if you have some. As for the epilogue, I’ll at least send it to the participants in the discussion. I think the story works without it, but I think it will be a nice addition.
For the Superego unconcerned, expect the next part to Wednesday’s IMW later today.