Mr. President, Don’t Make Us Punching Mad

There are some fears that Bush will not make a good pick once again now that Miers has been dispatched with. It is thought that Bush might nominate a monkey – perhaps even a monkey that bites. Even worse, a monkey without a clear judicial philosophy.
We must make sure Bush knows that if he doesn’t nominate a rabid, extreme right-wing conservative, we will be so mad we will punch people. Then Bush will make sure to appease us so as to avoid violence.
Man, I’m so ready for a big fight with the Democrats over this next nomination, but I’m afraid they’re just going to cower in the corner and cry as usual.

16 Comments

  1. well, there is no Constitutional requirement that a Supreme Court justice be a lawyer or even have gone to law school. so GWB could nominate Donald Rumsfeld. THAT would be exciting!
    Imagine the confirmation hearings:
    Senator A: “Secretary Rumsfeld, how can you be a Supreme Court justice when you haven’t even been to law school?”
    Rummy: “Your questions bore me.”
    Senator B: “But Secretary Rumsfeld, you have no judicial or even legal record, and… HEY! what are you doing? Why aren’t you paying attention while I am talking?”
    Rummy: “Oh sorry, I was just giving the order to bomb France over my blackberry. Did you have a question?”
    Senator C: “Shouldn’t the President have appointed another WOMYN to replace Sandra Day O’Connor?”
    Rummy: “You leave that bitch Condi out of this. These are MY hearings!”
    Senator A: “But you STILL haven’t addressed your lack of law creden…”
    Rummy: “RRRAAAARRRRRR!!!!!”
    Senator B: “Mr. Secretary, don’t think that just because you can bite the head off a U.S. Senator that you can…”
    Rummy: “RRRAARRRRRR!!!!!”
    IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!!!

  2. I’ve got my can of Gay-Away ready
    It’s made from a potent formula of holy water, female pheromones, and the sweat of Pat Robertson’s brow.
    1 squirt and they immediately start squealing and explode (so wear a raincoat – it works good on jihadis too).
    For the rest of em, a nice big, old style fire extinguisher filled with soapy water and deodorant.
    Flaming liberals need to be extinguished and smelly hippies need a bath anyway.

  3. Why not a monkey? Come to think of it, this may be the time for a bold statement in the cause of diversity. Time to stand up for those who have toiled in earnest for so long with no thought of…well, no thought at all really. The millions of monkeys toiling over keyboards in hot tropical sweatshops, trying to produce the complete works of Shakespeare!

    I know I am on record as supporting Estella’s mom and still think she would be an excellent choice, but why not go for broke:
    Space-
    Mon-
    Key!

    Space-
    Mon-
    Key!

    Space-
    Mon-
    Key!

  4. “Man, I’m so ready for a big fight with the Democrats over this next nomination, but I’m afraid they’re just going to cower in the corner and cry as usual.”
    Slight correction, I wish they would go in the corner to cry. Unfortunately, they tend to go on tv to cry and lie.

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