As SarahK pointed out, Bill O’Reilly is scared of bloggers. This goes back quite a bit, as in June ’03 Instapundit observed an O’Reilly “hissy fit” against blogs and said, “I’ll bet nobody has accused O’Reilly of putting puppies in blenders.”
And that’s the problem. See, I like Bill O’Reilly, and I think it’s time for someone to accuse him of “putting puppies in blenders” so that bloggers really are out to get him and he doesn’t seem so paranoid.
That means its time for an organized smear campaign!
All we need is some great lie about O’Reilly (I dunno, maybe that he was originally a woman or that he kills stray cats with a hammer or that he’s considered a genius in France). Then we come up with a news clip about said lie. Then tons of bloggers all quote the news clip (linking to another blogger who wrote about it as the source) and comment on how horrible Bill O’Reilly is. If it’s set up right, each blogger will say they saw it off of a different blogger, and, if someone keeps clicking on the links trying to find the source, he’ll go in a complete circle and end back where he started.
Then, we just have to hope more bloggers pick up on it who aren’t in on the joke and have people without blogs e-mail O’Reilly about how horrible he is for doing whatever it is we lie about him doing.
Yeah, I don’t have the time to organize something like this, but wouldn’t it be cool? I’m sure we’d win “Most Organized Smear Campaign” at the Smeary Awards if we pulled it off.
First?
How ’bout if we spread the rumor that he has romantic assignations with Helen Thomas? Threesomes with her and Barbra Streisand?
I’ve heard that O’Reilly likes to rub black licorice and tabasco on his genitals for Greta Van Sustren to lick off…
Or do a real gross out & say he has threesomes with Al Franken & Michael Moore…. bleeeghhhhh… urp
Okay, made myself nauseated with the mental image …must find toilet brush to scrub icky image from brain!
I heard from someone that Bill O’Reilly used to be that chick in GWAR. Count me in for the smear party.
I’ve heard that Bill likes to play hide the balony with Aqua Man and Barney Frank after checking into the Ned Betty (You got a Purdy Mouth Boy) Suite down at the local hotel in DC…
He only pretends to care.
He really wants to replace Larry King Live, since Larry’s bound to have another heart attack before long.
Show any clip of him and say, “see how forced the sincerity is?”
“Bill O’Reilly Live.”
It sings, doesn’t it?
Bill O’Reilly once tried to put Glenn Reynolds in a blender?
He double dips.
Bill likes alternative fuels, so we’ll say that he drives a French Renault specially modified to run on bunny rabbit entrails.
Wasn’t that Bill snorting coke off of Kate Moss’s left boob?
I’ve done my part.
I know, how about running a lie dectector test on Bill when he is at home? Now, obviously lots of proof has been shown that Bill lies a lot, so how about proof that Bill ever tells the truth? If we could find out that Bill does tell the truth when asked “have you taken the trash out?”, or “have you really come, because I can’t find anything?”, maybe there is some hope for the slimy little shitbag.
Bill likes to dress up in women’s clothing and go by the name Harriet Miers.