Unless you’re first, who knows what the heck has been dipped in that honey.
I keep trying to read the Torah from left to right.
I can never spell it right, nor can I spell it wrong consistently.
Why did I hit the ATM before Tashlikh?
Ever have the A/C go out at synagogue on Rosh Hashana? Kinda makes that “no work” think suck all that much more.
“God’s sovereignty” may bless you for the year, but it won’t get you out of a speeding ticket.
Ever search for a good shevarim, teruah, and tekiah gedolah on Napster? Bet you can’t.
Same prank every year: invisible ink in the Book Of Life.
Some years, the only thing that ever gets blown is the shofar.
Writing 5765 on all my Zionist Conspiracy checks to LFG Lizardoid Commander Charles Johnson .
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First!!!!
I hate putting up with all the relatives who I don’t see 364 days of the year.
Evidently, another bad thing about Rosh Hashana is that it makes some who celebrate it think that Little Green Footballs becomes the acronym LFG, instead of LGF.
LGF is LFG. I’m sure it’s in his FAQ.
And there are never 365 days in a year. Don’t you guys ever look at your calendars?