Well, the Americans beat the Mexicans in the World Baseball Classic yesterday. They go up against Canada today.
Now if you’re not familiar with the teams in this tournament, we’ve got: Koreans, Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Americans, Mexicans, Canadians, South Africans, Ricans, Cubans, Hollanders, Panamanians, Italians, Dominicans, Aussies, and Venezuelans.
(There is no “Juicers” team, so Barry Bonds is sitting out.)
Anyway, some folks have asked why certain other countries aren’t participating. Well, here’s a list of them and the reasons:
Aruba: Visiting teams kept vanishing. (Oops, I meant to say “teens” there)
Columbia: Offered to provide chalk for foul lines, intercepted by DEA.
France: No balls.
India: Worried that all the gloves are being made from their ancestors.
Iran: Anyone caught stealing had their hands cut off as per Islamic Law.
Iraq: Every time the coach calls sacrifice, a mosque gets blown up.
Israel: Every time someone calls strike, play stops while the labor union head goes on TV.
Libya: Kept hijacking the team plane.
Pakistan: “Mohammed Bobblehead Night” deemed a high risk factor, asked not to participate.
Palestinian Authority: After bitching that their Home Plate was occupied, every player died during Suicide Squeeze drills.
Saudi Arabia: Batters tended to beat their Filipino maids with the bats.
United Kingdom: Kept stacking bats all funny-like behind the plate for some reason.
UAE: Insisted on buying all the stadiums and replacing security with their own personnel.
Vietnam: Team was ready, but batboy is still in the hospital after a run-in with by Gary Glitter.
Did I leave any countries out? Fill in the blanks in the comments.