With the Hillary Clinton advertising on IMAO, I think it would be nice to offer her some help. Here are my ideas for her presidential campaign slogans:
Hillary ’08: Your soul is mine!
Hillary ’08: No power in the ‘verse can stop me!
Hillary ’08: Naked ambition given human form.
Hillary ’08: It’s time for a woman president whether you want it or not.
Hillary ’08: Don’t vote for that black guy!
Hillary ’08: America has existed long enough.
Hillary ’08: Comedy gold!
Hillary ’08: Satan compels you.
Hillary ’08: The survivors will envy the dead.
Hillary ’08: You’ll get a 10,000% return on your investment.
Hillary ’08: If I scare you this much, think of what’s it will be like for America’s enemies.
Hillary ’08: With me as president, the Mexicans will stop trying to get in here.
Hillary ’08: Because God hates you.
Hillary ’08:The last vote you will ever make!
Hillary ’08: Join the Dark Side. We have HillaryCare and granola bites!
Seriously, if she gets elected, my husband is getting orders overseas, and we’re not coming back ’til she’s gone. He gets all twitchy thinking about Hillary as his Commander-in-Chief.
Hillary ’08: Why vote for the lesser of two evils?
Hillary ’08: Since she’s a lesbian, it’s like voting for a man!
Hillary ’08: Because we all hate America anyway….
or
Hillary ’08: Yay! Presidential Pardons for Sammy Burglar!
Hillary ’08: The choice for America – even for you knuckle-dragging rubes in flyover country.
Hillary ’08: Like voting for Jesus. I he was a woman. And soulless. And evil. And consumed with hatred for all mankind. And….
Hillary ’08: Her election will bring about the Rapture.
Hillary ’08: You don’t want to make her angry. You wouldn’t like it when she’s angry.
Hillary ’08: Allahu Akbar!
Hillay ’08: Because she knows what’s best for you, and you don’t.
Hillary ’08: Sharia won’t seem so bad once you realize I’ll have to wear a veil when you see me on TV!
Hillary ’08: When we put Republicans into concentration camps we’ll let them have cable TV.
Hillary ’08: Nice country you have here. You wouldn’t want anything to “happen” to it, would you?
Hillary ’08: I’ll only start wars that have nothing to do with our national security interests.
Hillary ’08: Or else!
Hillary ’08: The ice in her heart will reverse global warming
Hillary ’08: Felons and illegal aliens get to vote twice!
Hillary ’08: What could make us safer than having a member of Al Qaeda as President?
Hillary ’08: The muslims won’t be angry once we give them everything they want.
Hillary ’08: 200+ years of democracy was a nice run
Hillary ’08: What’s more fun than a communist dictatorship?
Hillary ’08: Feel the power of the dark side
Hillary ’08: The right man for the job.
Hillary ’08: Everything will be free! (Except for taxes)
I liked the one Master Shake wrote the best.
Hillary ’08: The honorary fifth horseman of the apocalypse
Hillary ’08: Making more room for “undocumented workers” by forcing decent Americans to emigrate
Hillary ’08: Resistance is Futile
Hillary ’08: Bread and circuses!
Hillary ’08: I’ll return everything we stole when we left the White House last time
Hillary ’08: Aw, c’mon. I already had the crown and scepter made.
Hillary ’08: Its not a roll of quarters in my pocket now bend-over America.
Hillary ’08: Do it for the children. Those tender, succulent children with meat that just slides off the bone and their sweet, sticky marrow….
Hillary ’08: Don’t make me get all “Vince Foster” on yo’ ass!
Hillary ’08: USA Today, Tomorrow the World
Hillary ’08: Mwahahaha!!!
Hillary ’08: The Ashes Rising from the Phoenix
Hillary ’08: R I P, America
Hillary ’08: Because the Best Man for the Job is a Minion of Lucifer
Hillary ’08: To Finish What Bill Started
Hillary ’08: Your Soul May Belong to Christ, But Your Ass Is Mine
Hillary 08: Finally put the Clinton that wears the pants in the oval office.
Hillary 08! Because those BLOGGERS need to be taught a lesson.
LOL MasterShake, yer killing me.
Hillary ’08: In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth…
Hillary ’08: Why vote for the lesser evil? (I think that Chtulu might sue her for copyright infringement, if he were to awaken. Then again, he might just eat her, so we’d have that going for us)
Hillary ’08: You think that you know, but you have no idea.
Hillary ’08: Because I say so.
Hillary ’08: Up Yours, America!
Hillary ’08: Sieg Heillary!
Hillary ’08: She can be patriotic without supporting the war.
Hillary ’08: 4 out of 5 Taliban aggree.
Hillary ’08: Power! Unlimited POWER!!!
Hillary ’08: Let the universe howl in despair, for she has returned.
Hillary ’08: NO ONE IS SAFE!!!
Hillary ’08: Fear the ‘Stache!
Hillary ’08:You have too much money lying around–Gimme!
Hillary ’08: These hands can crack walnuts, you wanna try me?
Hillary ’08: Don’t worry, Bill will be sleeping at Dick Morris’s guest house.
Hillary ’08: It Takes a Village to Raise a Concentration Camp for Neo-Cons
Hillary ’08: Obama — Osama — coincidence?
Hillary ’08: McCain squealed like a school girl in prison
Hillary ’08: If I want your opinion I’ll give it to you
Hillary ’08: Vote for Me or Join Vince
Hillary ’08: Bill needs a job–POTUS Bitch
Hillary ’08: I can support the weight of the world on these pillar-like legs!
Hillary ’08: (Nazgul Shrieking, people peeing their pants uncontrollably)
Hillary ’08: My Dick is Bigger Than Yours
Hillary ’08: becasue Senators from the Northeast always win elections.
Hillary ’08: No Intern Left Behind once Bill gets back
Hillary ’08: The NYT wills it.
Hillary ’08: Or I’ll release the sex tapes of me and Rosie O’Donnell
Hillary ’08: The Power of Christ Compels you!
Hillary ’08: You know you want to be able to refer to Bill as the “first lady”
Hillary ’08: Once their man is in office, the New York Times will stop publishing national security secrets
Hillary ’08: I know how to deal with rampaging muslims because I always have sand in my vagina, too!
Hillary ’08: Keep those smelly hippy protesters off the streets and in their parents’ basements where they belong
Hillary ’08: I’ll be the second black President because nothing is as black as my heart
Hillary ’08: The Power of Christ Compels you!
Hillary ’08: Fear the pantsuit!
Hillary ’08: You won’t worry about the price of gas once I’ve banned the automobile
Hillary ’08: Because three elections of gravely monotone Democratic presidential candidates is the standard, and mine make’s Dick Chaney’s voice sound like he’s about to break out into showtunes
OK, a bit long for a bumper sticker. Maybe just the first part.
Pelosi ’04, Hillary ’08 – because “Parliament of Whores” shouldn’t just be a metaphor.
Hillary ’08: ‘Cause I still have your FBI file and I know where you live
Hillary ’08: It is by will alone I set my mind in motion…
Hillary ’08: Thou shalt suffer a witch to live!
Hillary ’08: Arise, my minions, and feast on the flesh of the living!
Hillary ’08: You can’t criticize me unless you’re a woman who has run for President
Hillary ’08: Nothing lasts forever.
Hillary ’08: I am the law!
These are more campaign theme song suggestions than slogans, but….
Hillary ’08: Cold Hard Bitch
Hillary ’08: Bitch is Back
Hillary ’08: Evil Woman
Hillary ’08: Or I’ll shoot this puppy!
Hillary ’08: Won’t it be much easier for everyone when the minimum wage is also the maximum wage?
Hillary ’08: Just because I said “I don’t recall” 43 times when testifying about the Rose Law Firm doesn’t mean I’m… I’m sorry, what was the question?
Hillary ’08: Just because our ideas were all invented while we were stoned 40 years ago doesn’t mean we aren’t “Progressive”.
Hillary ’08: I’ll lie like a rug and then munch Janet Reno’s.
Hillary ’08: You’ll feel like a shower in ’09
Hillary ’08: Because it’s time to stop worrying that the terrorists will destroy Washington.
Hillary ’08: Like watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show performed by Al Gore sucking a lemon
Hillary ’08: When the jackbooted thugs come to take you away, at least their boots will be stylish
Hillary ’08: Wouldn’t you prefer a domestic terrorist to a foreign one?
Hillary 08: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR…!!!
Hillary ’08: Fear itself
Hillary 08 – And Vice President Bob!!! (former Iraqi Minister of Misinformation)
Hillary & Minime 08 – Have a little clone in you?
Hillary 08 – “Because if you elect Condi….” pan to mushroom cloud in background
Hillary 08 – Though I’m not the greater evil (glancing nervously at Cthulhu), I have ‘personality’.
Hillary 08 – Because Voldemort has no fashion sense.
Hillary ’08: Because it will annoy IMAO.us and make lazymonkey sad.
It will also be cool because then we will have Hillary and Pelosi together for awesome State of the Unions. We need many more women helping runour government. Needs to be much closer to 50%. Hooray for women in power!
runour is a mistake I made in my comment. Don’t make fun of me for it or I will spend much time thinking of words that will make you feel like losers.
Hillary ’08: At least the trains will run on time
Hillary ’08: Just think of me as a female Kevin Federline
Hillary ’08: I pee standing up, just like all the other Presidents
First, stop misspelling her name, it’s not Hillary, it’s Hillary!.
Second, so when is Hillary!’s ad going to run? I want your advertisers to patronize me for a while.
Frnak,
When you ask us to “Please Patronize [your] Sponsors,” does that mean that you are encouraging us to vote for Hillary? Or did you place a different shade of meaning on the word “patronize?”
Hillary ’08: Going Through The Change
Hillary ’08: Maybe I won’t nationalize your industry
Hillary ’08: Because it takes a village to run a country!
Hillary ’08: Or I’ll have Janet Reno burn down your house
Hillary ’08: If I’d killed Bill like I should have, you would have had Al Gore as President – YOU OWE ME!
Hillary ’08: Apocolypse Now!
Hillary in 08, Let me finish what Bill started, screwing America on citisen at a time
Master Shake, you win!!! The RNC should have you on their payroll.
But AlanBBQ,
Hillary ’08: Your Soul May Belong to Christ, But Your Ass Is Mine
Classic!! If I didn’t have young children who can read, I’d stick it to my car.
Hillary, ’08: The Candidate With A Heart.
… in her freezer
Hillary, ’08: Don’t look into her eyes or you’ll be turned into Algore!
Hillary. ’08: Because the only thing she puts in her humidor are tampons.
Hillary, ’08 : Satan’s only begotten son
Hillary ’08: Make the Rich Pay
Hillary ’08: Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer!
(One people, one nation, one leader!)
Hillary ’08: Because you don’t need that paycheck…really!
Hillary ’08: When life’s a bitch, elect one as President!
Hillary ’08: No ilegal left behind.
Hillary ’08: Because Canada and Mexico should have been part of the USA to begin with!
Hillary ’08: Proving the inmates run the asylum!
Hillary ’08: Because you don’t need E-coli to make you sick.
Hillary ’08: Making Castro look like your kind old grandpa.
Hillary ’08: Because Bill failed to destroy the military.
Hillary ’08: “Take me to your leader…like hell! Mua ha ha! Now I AM your leader and we invade your planet tomarrow!”
Hillary ’08: The end is neigh!
Hillary ’08: Respect my authorita!
Hillary ’08: The Republicans already had a Dick (Nixon)…now let me show you the Democrats have an even bigger one!
Hillary ’08: Hey, the End Times has to begin sometime!
Hillary ’08: Because the government needs your guns more than you do.
Hillary in the white house + Bill leading the UN = Revelations come to fruition.
Hillary! 08 – Le Etat C’est Moi!
Enough of slowly f*cking everything up, lets get on the fast track.
Damn, so late in the game! Oh well, here goes:
Hillary ’08: It Takes A Village To Raise A White Flag
Hillary ’08: She’s Got The Goods On All 72 Of Those “Virgins”!
Hillary ’08: Gross, But No Cigar!
Hillary ’08: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
Hillary ’08: “………………………dead silence — crickets chirping in background“
Hillary ’08: For Your Own Good
Hillary, She puts her pants on one leg at a time, just like any other guy.
Hillary ’08: All shall love me and despair!
Hillary ’08: If You Don’t – The Girl Dies, You Die, Everybody Dies
Americas failureis my success
Hey, Frank! You need to ask Master Shake to guestblog for you!
Hillary ’08: Choose to Lose
Hillary ’08: Do Not Fear; We Are Your Friends. Ack ack!
Hillary ’08: Because America has too much power and money.
Hillary ’08: Give Marx Another Chance
Hillary ’08: The Beginning of the End
On the other hand, why not use the one she’s already given us?
Hillary ’08: We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.
Directly from her own mouth –
Hillary! ’08: We’re going to take your money from you for the greater good.
“Hillary ’08: There is no Zuul, only Hillary.”
“Hillary ’08: Who needs to know the difference between an ass and an elbow anyway?”