NEW ORLEANS (AP) – After failing to attend the 2008 State of the Black Union event last Saturday in New Orleans, officials at the forum voted overwhelmingly to strip Presidential candidate Barack Obama of his blackness, forcing the unprecedentedly historic Democratic primary race to become a much less historic contest between a young white man and an old white woman.
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The forum’s founder, Tavis Smiley, explained why Obama’s blackness was forcibly removed. “Some people think that ‘black’ is just a skin color. While true when it comes to filling quotas, the fact is that Obama just isn’t black enough where it counts. He doesn’t rap, can’t shoot hoops, and he’s been known to break bread with whitey without saying a Grace that invokes white guilt over slavery. Besides, he didn’t show up at our forum, like a REAL black man would. Therefore we have voted to strip Obama of his blackness, victimhood, rhythm, mojo, and pimp cane.”
Former presidential candidate Joe Biden said that this would cause a major shift in his endorsement strategy. “With his blackness gone, Obama just doesn’t seem as clean, bright, and articulate as he used to. I may have to throw in with the bitter, stupid, weepy white woman now.”
For his part, Obama dismissed the significance of having his blackness removed. “I’m every bit as much an African-American as I always was. Sure, I’m only the half-black son of an East-African immigrant instead of the 100% black descendant of West-African slaves, but that’s completely irrelevant. I’ve still got a nappy head, fat nose and puffy lips! And I’m down with the street! ‘Yo, yo, my house boys, I am chilling!’ See?”
Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton, who DID show up for the SotBU event, was honorarily awarded Obama’s blackness, but quickly had it taken back from her after she failed to successfully perform that finger-waggle-neck-wobble thing while saying “oh no you di-int!”.
When the “N” word fits wear it….
This Halfrican-American is halfway to The White House – which reminds me of a Mad magazine song parody from 1972 (sung to the tune of “Oh, Susanna!”):
Oh, George Wallace – show them how you can fight
If you’re elected one thing’s sure
You’ll keep The White House white!
Good times…
I feel a little embarrassed now; I had no idea that Obama was black.
You would think some of Bill’s blackness would have rubbed off on Hillary by now, enabling her to perform the “oh no you di-int!” thing quite ably. But, of course, they probably don’t rub much anything together very often.
Oh snap!
Now, instead of the sky opening up and the angel’s singing Obamessiah on high, the ground opens up and we all fall in with Hillary Rot-in-Hell Clinton.
Frank, you really need to get Harvey under control or off the site. This constant race baiting crap from him is getting really tiresome and not funny.
Frank, ignore JeffK. You really need to get Harvey off control or under the site. This constant race baiting crap from him is getting really hilarious and not funny to people with no sense of humor.
Easy, JeffK. As soon as you become famous Harvey will take his shots at you. Give it time, bro.
In the immortal words of my namesake, Archibald Bunker: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polack!
The cakeboy twins!
It’s all good Harvey, ya still got’s ya mojo.
Osamabamas blackness or lack there of will stop being relevant when people stop using it as the test for political candidates.
To vote for someone because they are ( fill in the blank) is so 1950’s. Like haven’t we come further than that in 50 years. Fer shure.
It’s like a celebrity coming out of the closet. Every interview
begins with “Hello. I’m …….. and I’m gay, only it’s “Vote for me Osama ’cause I’m black. I don’t care if you’re purple. Tell me how you’re going to help fix the problems we have.
Oh and by the by, if you can’t admit that your “community” has problems you’re probably not the person to help fix the country’s problems.
P.S. Jimmy that was very good, very punny but very good.
So are you intimating that Obama goes into movie theaters and “chokes the chicken”?
Haha, no, ussjc, he “chokes the cliton.”
Jeff – I’d love to kick Obama around for substantive reasons as I’ve done before:
http://www.imao.us/archives/008315.html
But the thing is, I go where the stories are, and in this case (if you follow the link in the post) it’s about Democrats questioning the quality of Obama’s blackness (at the bottom of the page it specifically mentions his “blackness” facing “strenuous questioning”) – which is patently insane, since his skin color is obvious at a glance. They’re claiming that “blackness” is more than just skin color, and that’s the idiocy I’m making fun of.
For the record, I don’t hate Obama because of his skin color, I hate him because he’s a socialist. Just like I hate every other socialist.
If you can’t deal with that, well, I’ll just quote Hank Hill:
“What the hell kind of country is this where I’m not allowed to hate a man just because of the color of his skin?”
OK, I’m still confused. I said earlier that I was embarrassed for not knowing that Obama was black. As if that weren’t bad enough…
In the photo above, he’s the one right, correct?
#16
Neither is him, they are doubles roaming around for security reasons. Some of the media is so took up with BHO that they snap photos of the doubles and get all weak knee-ed. Their editors also caught Obominatmania and the pictures slip through.
#16
Neither is him, they are doubles roaming around for security reasons. Some of the media is so took up with BHO that they snap photos of the doubles and get all weak knee-ed. Their editors also caught Obominatmania and the pictures slip through.
Sorry about the double post.
Then again, since my topic is body doubles, maybe it warranted a double post?
Harvey:
Rest assured I’m no fan of this socialist either, but stuff like:
“I’ve still got a nappy head, fat nose and puffy lips!”
doesn’t make it easy to defend this site as just good clean fun. You can ridicule the racial idiocy of the Democrats without engaging in your own.
JeffK
Kids, kids – this is not a news site. People come here to engage in hyperbole and say outrageous things that they don’t really feel, mock stereotypes about others and themselves, vent, and occasionally say something substantive (albeit wrapped in layers of sarcasm and humor). If you can’t grow some thick skin, quick, you should probably go somewhere else. And I for one, am not looking for anyone to defend this site.
Great, thanks a lot — now I feel all insightful and dirty.
As I say,
NO-bama…
Maybe better than the Hilda-Beast, but only slightly, but easily as incompetent and inexperienced in real world politics…
RP
Since there are some who are disturbed by the humor on this site being a trifle politically incorrect, as one of the resident red headed, freckle faced, step- children who posts on this site, I thought I’d send you somewhere really interesting.
10 points
Now after you’ve read it the first time, switch the word black for the word white and tell me it doesn’t make your skin crawl. As a WASP I would steer clear of any white person who advocated the last half of what is in this manifesto. This is what the pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ promotes and Osamabama and the misses agree with. While some of the goals are well worth attaining once you get to the “Disavowal of Middleclassness” it turns decidedly militant.
#23 seanmahair-
You know, I’m going to edit a copy of that & distribute it around UNM someday. I want to see how much of an uproar it creates (and it will), and then explain what I did & why. I want to see white “liberal intellectuals” & minorities explain why its original version is acceptable.
I understand your feelings Alan, just remember though, if your white, Anglo Saxon, Protestant they’ll throw the book at you. Literally. They might even tar and feather you and run you out of town on a rail. Or they might try to reprogram you.
So proceed with caution. After all it is open season on WASPs.
“…as one of the resident red headed, freckle faced, step-children who posts on this site…”
So that explains your Celtic persistence. Post a picture, seanmahair! 🙂
Jeff – The point of noting that Obama has some common Negroid facial features was to contrast it with his ineptitude at being “socially black”, where he bungles the use of African-American street slang. A bit of conceptual misdirection to amplify the comedic value of the punchline.
It might’ve worked just as well without it, but I thought it was better with. I knew it wasn’t PC to phrase it thusly, but I figured that phrasing had just as much chance of striking a funny bone as a nerve, so I used it.
Obama gets attacked for the quality of his blackness all the time (normally from the left). A cartoonish mental image of him trying to defend it amused me, so I shared my vision.
Is that similar to when John Kerry says ” Can I buy me a huntING license?”
His redneck speak was as convincing as his redneck lifestyle. Now maybe if J.K.’s real dad was from a rural area…
#26 Jimmy,
The red hair is only highlights but the freckle face about 90% (Irish, English, Welsh with a sliver of German married to a 2nd gen. Scotsman) celtic. It was really just a metaphor for those of us who stay mostly in the background but are loyal readers from way back.
I post no pictures, just imagine an dark haired old, gray, plump Doris Day type and make a sharp right turn and that’s me.
My family tells me, I’m as old as I feel. Somedays I feel 35 some days I feel 135. Especially days when I feel the inmates have taken over the asylum.
But you always make me smile ; )
Yo – Better than the Onion! LMAO
The Don Imus touch (“nappy head”, etc.) made it that much more hilarious – and only offended 1 reader.
I’m not 100% caucasion, and I approve this message.