Several days ago, I broke a story about Hillary being photographed in a burka. I dared anyone to prove me wrong, not anticipating that new technology might actually prove me right.
You know you want to.
Continue reading ‘Is Hillary a Muslim? — Part II — Vindication’ »
Sorry for the light blogging today, but I’m a bit under the weather and never got to the posts ideas I have brewing (politics does seem like more fun lately). Anyway, I plan to soon start up another story bit by bit again for those who will read it (it will be a redoing of Hellbender), and I’m also working on a little widget to help you, the reader (yes, you are a reader), give us feedback on our posts.
A question for you do discuss amongst yourselves: Who would be better answering the phone in the White House at 3 a.m.: Hillary or Obama? Explain your answer.
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WASHINGTON (AP) – After being criticized for making Obama “blacker”, Clinton campaign officials fired back by claiming that Obama has been doctoring images of Hillary to make her look blonder while implying that her hair color makes her “too damn stupid to be president”.
Obama spokesperson Kevin Griffis denies any hairism on the part of Obama. “The change in the image from the original to the ad was simply an accident of software and image compression. We did not mean to imply that Hillary keeps a coat hanger in her back seat in case she ever locks her keys in her car. Even though rumors abound.”
Clinton has long maintained that “color should not be an issue in this campaign” and is confident that America is ready for a Flaxen-American president. “While it may be true that there’s white out on my computer screen and that I peel the shells off M&M’s to make chocolate chip cookies, there is no truth to the accusation that I once buried Cheerios in an effort to grow a donut tree.”
We’ve given you the Fred Thompson Facts and the John Edwards Facts, but what happens when the two collide? Apparently they will be debating each other at the Manufacturers’ Association of Northwest Pennsylvania with Tony Snow moderating.
Predictions?
I think Fred Thompson will just look at John Edwards, and then Edwards will explode into a fine red and yellow mist. Thompson will be declared the winner, be given Edwards giant house, and made king. Then there will be a dinner of mead and mutton and it will be awesome.
Kos of the crazy hate site the Daily Kos has accused Hillary of making Obama blacker. Originally, some people suggested that Obama isn’t black enough, but now Hillary has made him too black. Let this be a lesson to you: Hillary darkens everything she touches.
Other lesson: Kos is craaaazy.
UPDATE:
Little Green Footballs has an animated gif illustrating this outrage. Stop making Obama black, people!
BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) — Voters in this southern Vermont town decided Tuesday to approve a measure calling for the indictment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney on charges of violating the Constitution.
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The symbolic article seeks to have police arrest Bush and Cheney if they ever visit Brattleboro or to extradite them for prosecution elsewhere — if they’re not impeached first.
“Our town attorney has no legal authority to draw up any papers to allow our police officers to do so,” said Town Clerk Annette Cappy, “but the gentleman who initiated the petition got the signatures (and) wanted it on the ballot to make a statement.”
Other statements recently approved by Brattleboro include “freedom is slavery”, “ignorance is strength”, and “black is white”, the latter being a possible explanation for Obama’s strong showing in the heavily caucasion Vermont primaries.
Kurt Daims, who organized the petition drive, praised the power of Vermont ballot initiatives. “Five years ago, we passed a measure outlawing moose attacks. Haven’t had one since. Or ever before, now that I think about it. Anyway, next year I plan to start a petition to enforce President Obama’s policy of never having gone to Iraq in the first place. Or – if he loses the election even though he’s white now – the petition will declare him President provided that he makes Brattleboro the new capital of the US. Which he will, since the ballot measure will declare that, too.”
Local residents are not surprised by the outcome of the voting. “I used to think Daims was some sort of a kook,” said town-charter-mandated token conservative Barbara Southworth, “but after the success of last year’s ‘Kurt Daims is not a tie-dyed, granola-munching, ponytailed, neo-hippie post-Marxist with a Peter Pan complex and delusions of godhood or a kook, either’ initiative, I have to admit that he’s actually got some pretty good ideas. If I didn’t, they’d throw me in jail.”
For all the talk about the Democrats having more enthusiasm than Republicans, Republican still seem to be quite a bit more focused. We know what we want — to win in Iraq and continue to kill terrorists — and McCain, though not a favorite of conservatives, is the perfect candidate to that goal. What do Democrats want? They don’t want President Bush, but he’ll be gone next year no matter who is elected. They want out of Iraq, but no one knows how to do that and they’re not dumb enough to do a sudden withdrawal even if things weren’t going well right now. They want a better economy, but the only idea for that so far is more taxes on the rich. Basically, they want hope and change and don’t have any solid ideas of what to do.
It looks like all these years of BDS has left them pretty clueless.
If Obama despises America, maybe he should put out a list of what we need to change so he’ll like us. I heard he did basically the same thing in giving his children a list of what they needed to change about themselves so he’d love them again.
So what do you think is on the list? Be nicer to Iran? Less honkeys?
“And if that child should ever get the chance to travel the world and someone should ask her where is she from, we believe that she should always be able to hold her head high with pride in her voice when she answers, ‘I am an American.’
“That is the course we seek. That is the change we are calling for.”
He wants to change it so people can be proud of America? I think he and his wife have a meme going now. We all know liberals despise America, but it’s a rookie mistake to say it out loud. Bad, Obama. Bad.
Some how this firearm came into existence and then was discontinued all without me noticing:
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT – To celebrate the 5th anniversary of the start of the Iraq War, Part 39 of lolterizt! will be posted on March 19th and will be a special lolprotstrz! version, featuring crass captioning of your favorite anti-war idiots in action. You can start submitting your hippies, Code Pinks, commies, Cindy Sheehans and other loudmouth street-polluting liberals immediately. The final deadline is 6pm CDT, Tuesday March 18.
Meanwhile, once again, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From SARA of The Bright Corner:
From Michael
From 5minutes:
From acrazymic:
From Joel:
From AlanABQ:
From Erik Wit:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
SOURCE NOTE: Snapped Shot is still making peace with the AP law-talking-guys, so he’s off the radar as a source for a while. However, try Googling “AP photo” and your favorite MSM euphemism for “terrorist”. You’ll find plenty of material.
Send your submissions to lolterizt-at-gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
While Senator Obama has been preaching a heavy anti-NAFTA message in America, apparently a representative from his campaign assured Canadian officials not to take those threats against NAFTA seriously. Obama says this isn’t true and even released this statement:
I urge you, the American people, to not listen to those dirty, lying canucks. I hate free trade. Let me say that again: I hate free trade. And if some beer-swilling, hockey-nut tell you otherwise, it is because he is trying to derail hope and change. Why would Canadians do that? Because they want to stop me from ending NAFTA so they can get their filthy hands on your jobs. If they have their way, soon all our products will be imported from Canada and smell of moose urine. And let me tell you, that is one pungent smell.
This could be damaging to the Obama campaign, because if its found out he says one thing to one group and another to a different group, it makes him seem much less hopey and changey. The only thing is this is not the first time he’s tailored his message based on what group he is speaking to. Here are other examples:
* A representative of his told a Muslim group to ignore all those time he denies being a Muslim while he told a Jewish that he totally is not in any way a Muslim… plus his middle name is really Shlomo. Later, Obama told a Christian group that not only is he not a Muslim, he loves the Jesus… except for His right-wing stances.
* Obama told a pro-life group that he is personally against abortion and then the next day told a feminist group that no baby will survive his regime.
* Obama told a militant black group that he “hates honkeys.” This right after publicly expressing honkey tolerance.
* A representative of his has started spreading the rumor with gay groups that Michelle Obama is a beard.
* Another representative of his told a goth group that all his “hope” talk is just blather and he has just a bleak and depressing outlook on life as anyone else.
He’d probably contradict himself even more if he only had been in politics long enough to have more stances on issues to contradict.
If you’re wondering how the war is going (and who isn’t it), it’s now changed all our troops from baby-killers to puppy-tossers. The surge is a failure, unless you measure its success in the distance a puppy is thrown. I think this is all the evidence needed that we must end the war now and bring them home.
Then again, if we bring them home, they’ll just toss our puppies. Maybe we should bring them somewhere else like Antarctica. They could toss penguins there, but who cares. Plus, if they made videos of that, they could be pretty entertaining if they got Morgan Freeman to narrate them.
