I’ve always enjoyed the month of May because it’s the month that marks that sweet spot on the weather chart between too-damn-cold & too-damn-hot.
This year is extra special because it’s also the month where I get to watch the Democrats soil themselves in frustration as they alternately beg and berate Hillary to please, please, PLEASE drop out!
From the “berate” file, comes a quote from Rep. Steve Cohen, (D-Tenn), who compared Clinton to Glenn Close’s character in “Fatal Attraction” [a spurned woman turned stalker who was apparently drowned in a bathtub only to jump up one more time to be shot dead.]
“Glenn Close should have stayed in that tub, and Sen. Clinton has had a remarkable career and needs to move to the next step, which is helping elect the Democratic nominee.”
While I relish the image of Hillary as a psychotic bunny-boiler as much as the next guy, I can’t help thinking that Mr. Cohen missed a couple other possible movie character analogies, which I toss out thusly:
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- Friday the 13th – Jason’s Mom.
- Evil Dead 2 – Sweet “I’ll Swallow Your Soul” Henrietta
- Star Wars Episode I – Queen Amidala (shortly after her ascension to power, her entire planet is conquered by people with Chinese accents – absolutely prescient, I tell ya).
- The Omen – Nanny Baylock
- The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe – HINT: not the wardrobe.
- The Muppet Movie – Miss Piggy. Promises, promises, promises, but did Kermit ever see any action? HELL no!
- Serial Mom – don’t wear white shoes after Labor Day.
- The Crying Game – Dil (same surprise, too).
- The Wizard of Oz – No… not Westie… Dorothy. She stole the shoes off a dead woman she dropped a house on. Hillary would do the same if it got her enough superdelegates.
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Nurse Ratched
- Misery – Nurse Annie.
- Blues Brothers – Seriously, she would’ve played Carrie Fisher’s part with a LOT more conviction.
- Kill Bill – Elle Driver. Note to the Democratic Party – if Hillary offers you a suitcase full of money, don’t open it.
- Thelma & Louise – believe it or not, I’m pegging Hillary as the ’66 Thunderbird convertible in this one, since she WILL be the vehicle which takes the Democrats soaring off the cliff.
Did I miss any?
Tremors. (It ain’t Kevin Bacon, that’s for sure)
How about that guy with the machete in Big Jake? Not only has Hillary recently cleaned her machete, she also has the beard for it.
Any Godzilla movie made with the Democrat party as Tokyo.
Big Trouble in Little China: like Lo Pan she needs the blood of an innocent to become human.
The Motor Cycle Diaries: (really, do I need to explain that one?)
Volunteers: She’s Tom Tuttle from Takoma during his commie phase (remember the “People’s Punch” line from her WWE appearance).
But really, a tv episode is the closest.
Mr Burns in Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish).
I know I can see her saying this:
Advisor: Their job is to turn this Mr. Burns…[shows standard portrait of Monty Burns]… into this one.[shows `artist’s conception’.]
Burns: Why are my teeth showing like that?
Advisor: Because you’re smiling!
Burns: Ah, excellent! Yes, this is exactly the kind of trickery I’m paying you for.
And this:
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed moonbats(Move-On and/or the media. V) has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.
Harvey … rabbit stew … that’s damn funny, that is.
There are just too, too, too many to chose from but of course I did. How could I resist?
The Manchurian Candidate-Mrs. Islen/ Angela Lansbury
Sweeny Todd-Nell Lovett again Ms.Lansbury
Sleeping Beauty – Maleficent
Little Mermaid-Ursula
Lord of the Rings -Gollum (my precious)
One Hundred and One Dalmatians- Crewella DeVille
Carrie- Carrie’s mother
Mother Dearest- Joan Crawford
and last by no means least
Drop Dead Gorgeous- Gladys Leeman
One almost want to give her the benefit of the doubt, because she’s tenacious and throw her this: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- Wilhemena Harker/Peta Wilson.
She’s evil but in a good way? No just evil, I’m afraid.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day – the T-1000. She can take any shape of any object she comes into physical contact. Much like she does politically in real life. Only the T-1000 is less scary
Deliverance- she”s the one that thinks Ned Beaty has “purty lips”
Ned is the democratic party
“Alien” – With the Democratic Party as the crew of the Nostromo.
I’m just going to make the obvious reference from an obviously referential film about a thinly-veiled (i.e. obvious) fraud: Susan Stanton from Primary Colors.
Scooby Doo – Scrappy Doo
The Mummy – Anck Su Namun
High Anxiety – Nurse Deisel
Drowning Mona – Hint: she’s just barely in the movie
Monty…..Grail – the woman who’s always beating a cat
I’ll leave it at that before I rattle off about some obscure reference that no one will get.
The Plant – Little Shop of Horrors
Grandma – Lost in Yonkers
I’m liking # 10.
Conan the Destroyer – heres a hint, she would have to have a mega-tan and a small fro to play the role. No acting traninig required.
Conan the Destroyer – heres a hint, she would have to have a mega-tan and a small fro to play the role. No acting lessons required.
I have no idea how I double posted????
Odd, I don’t see a double post.
Odd, I don’t see a double post.
Terminator 3 – Not Schwarzeneggar
Creepshow – Adrienne Barbeau’s character
Cannibalistic Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death – Again, Adrienne Barbeau’s character
Escape From New York – Agaon, Adrienne Barbeau’s character (I’m sensing a pattern)
V – Diana
Star Trek – The witch from “Catspaw”
Star Trek Next Generation tv series – Lhursa or Bator
Star Trek Next Generation movie/Voyager – Borg Queen
Deep Space Nine – Vedek/Kai Winn
Harry Potter – Dolores Umbridge
Sean Young’s Shemale character from Ace Venturs
That female villain in Superman 2
The Black Knight from Monty Python
“I cut off your arm” “No you haven’t” “Yes I have!” “Lets call it a draw then”
The Big Spider from Arachnaphobia
A Democrat is to America what a nuke is to The Day After
No nukes!
I kinda see Hillary leaving the Democratic race like Madeline Kahn’s character left the conference dinner in What’s Up Doc?
(cue up to 1:20 to see the similarity)
Full Metal Jacket: combine the campaigning of the hooker (“me love you long time”) with the mouth of the drill instructor.
The big spider from Lord of the Rings
“She needs to feed, she does!”
I don’t know what part of Texas you live in, but it has already been too damn hot here. It was 101 on Sunday.
The main character in The Devil Wears Prada. I’m just guessing, actually; I haven’t seen the movie.
I actually saw Devil Wears Prada, and I ended up genuinely LIKING Meryl Streep’s character. To me, she was just a businesswoman with a lot of industry savvy and very high standards who made large demands on her staff so that she could focus on getting her damn job done.
If I remember correctly apart from being a soul stealing, crazy nut job, work-a-holic who didn’t have anything else in her life, so that when she was canned she had no support system at all, I guess she wasn’t so bad.
Wait, yes she was.
Jamie Jacoby (#27, above) said:
He lives in Idaho, Texas. (Gratuitous obscure reference: A Spectre is Haunting Texas – Fritz Lieber’s magnificent paean to all things Texas)
Eventually, you will all be part of Texas – except for Massachusetts, which will be used as a toxic liberal dump.
…And if it’s too hot for you, maybe you’re in the wrong state!
Glenn Close: shot in the chest
Janet Leigh: Psycho Shower Scene
Sharon Stone : Have you ever f***ed on cocaine, Nick?
fred call aka bigbro
Have you noticed how it always seems too hot or too cold (Andy Rooney whine)?
I studied the color temperature weather chart in my local paper and noticed that the color green appears only once, between 50 and 60 degrees. Below that it was blues and greys. Above that it jumped to dying grass yellow and soared into firery oranges and reds, ending with a sort of scorched earth, death valley brown. The same is true of the weather forecasts on the TV news.
Anyone glancing at a chart like that would be subconsciously inclined to believe that the planet was getting warmer. The diabolical subtleness of it! Help me here. Didn’t there used to be 3 shades of green on the charts ranging through the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s? Give us back our greens!
Hillary analog: Mandy, from ‘The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy’.
(I told a lie – sorry!) I looked closer and there were 2 shades of green, not just 1. Light green for the 40s and darker green for the 50s. But all over the country this weekend it’s going to be beautiful weather and the damn chart makes it look like we’re in a severe drought. the only green I could find was way up in Canada and in one spot in the Rockies. My point is still valid; “they” have been messing with the weather charts to make us believe “their” global warming BS!