Barry the Unrelatable

Since McCain has Palin and everyone can relate to her, maybe they should play up how detached Barack Obama is from the average man. Have a commercial with ominous music saying something like:

“Could you imagine hanging out with Barack Obama? You’d want to watch the sports game, but he’d insist on watching a pretentious French film and discussing what he just read in the Economist. ”

Then it could end with this slogan:

“Barack Obama: Not ready for the presidency. Not ready for some football.”

16 Comments

  1. Imagine hanging out with Obama on a Saturday afternoon, the TV in the garage showing the Buckeyes/Wolverines game, a cooler of beer nearby. You’re helping him change the plugs in his Volvo.

    “Hey Barry, could you hand me the large socket wrench?”

    “Sure.” Roots around a bit.

    “Nope. That’s a router. The sockets are over there, next to the bucket…no wait!”

    Muffled wail, “Oh no, not again!”

  2. Marko,

    D’oh! At least the Spartans beat Michgan, which is a small bright spot.

    I always wondered where they store Joe Paterno in the off seasons. I swear he looks the same age as he did when I first saw him on TV back in 1973. He’s been coaching Penn State as long as I’ve been alive.

    (It’s conversations like this that make Obama’s eyes glaze over and begin the passive aggressive sighing. Kind of a girly thing to do, eh?)

  3. I think they keep in a meat locker in Brooklyn, Paleo. Either that or he’s actually a robot.

    I tend to think the latter, but, seriously, I think everyone around the program knows this is his last year. It’s hard to think of Penn State football without Joe, but at least he’ll be going out on top. The Buckeyes played a good game, but this team will not allow a loss. You heard it here first.

    By the way, I don’t think Obama could hear this conversation. Head, bucket, etc.

  4. FrankJ:

    Not that I personally think it is a prerequisite for being president, but, given this column by Rick Reilly (a kinda well-known sportswriter. Remember the column at the end of Sports Illustrated? He used to write that. Now he writes for ESPN and ESPN the Magazine) it seems that Obama actually does know a bit about football.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3653401

    Quotes from article

    “Moves sort of like an athlete—cool and smooth… he knows his stuff. Turns out, he played a little. He was a tight end in ninth grade until a coach told him to “trample” an opponent’s back. He gave up football for hoops… he was checking the fantasy stats all day, even while he was supposed to be prepping for his final debate. ”

    But why let facts get in the way of your “effete liberal wimp” narrative? Reality does have a well-known liberal bias, after all.

    Peace,

    Monkey Faced Liberal

    P.S. Rick Reilly asked the McCain campaign if he could pick a fantasy team with him as well, but they refused. Maybe they were concerned that McCain would get the Pittsburgh Steelers confused with the Green Bay Packers again?

  5. No Frank, you got the critical line wrong.

    It’s “Barack Obama: Not ready for the Presidency. Not ready for some football.”

    I think that mistake establishes your “intellectual” bona fides just fine.

    [Ouch. I guess I was too focused on the symmetry and forgot that important word.

    To be honest, I watch Boise State games and playoffs and the Superbowl, but other than that I’m usually unprepared for football. -Ed.]

  6. He’s not even ready for bowling. On Baracks’ next birthday let’s give him something he could really use, like eye-hand coordination.

    And by “give him” I mean go directly into his brain via Roto-Rooter.

  7. Hey, nobody better be hating on my Wolverines! Just you wait, I’m gonna gonna be the one laughing when Michigan goes like 4-7 and then still beats Ohio State at the end of the year!

    Of course, when they really go like 3-9 and lose to Ohio State, I’ll be the one crying in the basement. Please don’t disturb me then.

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