A new concern for people is to make sure someone has access to their online accounts so if they croak, everyone in their online community won’t be wondering what happened to them. For me, I’m just going to have someone quietly take over for me. Thus, to the online community, I will be immortal. Hundreds of years from now, I will be accepting new friends on Facebook and updating my status on Twitter (“Still not dead!”). And others will fear me, for how do you stop the blogger who will not die?
You don’t!
It’s the dread blogger FrnakJ.
For the record, if I suddenly stop posting comments, it’s because I finally decided that I really don’t like you people.
Frank J., the new Dread Pirate Roberts!
Man, that was too freaky Veeshir.
[It was the first thing I thought of too, but decided a reference was too cliche. -Ed.]
I sell Online Death Insurance. If you die in the real world, we’ll take care of notifying everyone in cyberspace that you got fragged. My ODI policies can also be modified to do exactly what you’re planning on, Frank. We will post an I Hope He Fails every day and a Hellbender chapter once a month or so. We’ll even read comics and update your Gmail status every so often.
But if you have multiple personalities, the cost of the policy doubles.
Post a picture of a wooden stake and a clove of garlic!
For the record…we really don’t give a rat’s ass either way.
That’s just raw arrogance, Frank, IMAO.
“He’s dead already.” – Scotty
OK Veeshir and FormerHostage. Let’s kiss and make up. Obama is trying to kill us and you two are sitting here sniping at each other. Have either of you checked the doors and windows?
Frank J died 5 years ago. Sarah has been posting on this blog ever since. Didn’t you guys notice a huge jump in the funny at about that time?
The only person (so far) capable of imitating Frank is Harvey.
Will Frank’s anonymous successors hate us as much as Frank does? Let’s face it, without a certain level of malevolence toward one’s readers, no humor is possible. I would be concerned if “Frank” suddenly became “nice.” That would be a big clue, right there.
I think if we ever get a post without any grammatical or spelling errors then we’ll know he’s truly gone. ;o)
Who’s this “Frank J” individual you guys keep referring to?
😉
It’s the Dread Pirate Roberts in the flesh! Good plan.
Goodnight Westley, sleep well, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning!
Bonus points for the ‘Princess Bride’ reference…
Hmmmm….
I for one welcome our new blogging overlord.
That is if Frank J. is still really who he says he once might have been. Perhaps.
Well if Frank started accepting friends on Facebook then we would know he was dead.
Well then, how do we know you’re not already a different Frank J?
This was posted just in case the remaining Hellbenders don’t get posted. The “quietly take over for me” guy will get all the blame.
ussjc : Frank J died five years ago , As I understand it Frank J was some sort of computer wizard— Now you are all posting comments to a computer program written by Frank before he died. He was very good — his program monitors the web daily and uses some complicated s@#t to fool all of you.
Frank J is Skynet but benevolent. Well ok not benevolent but not malevolent either. He’s nonlevolent?
Nah, midwestconservative, Basil and Spacemonkey are the human brains behind the website’s mechanics. Frank is but an AI program (“Arrogant Interface?”) that they have to feed periodically with scanned comic books to keep from blowing up the server farm.
Wow, Sarah K has way more friends on Facebook than you do.
I suppose it’s to be expected, really.
“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory. Farewell!”
…
And long there he lay, an image of the splendour of the Kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world.
(Ctrl, Alt, Esc)
Well, unless someone can produce an obituary that mentions a Viking style burial, I’m presuming that Frank is still alive.
Otherwise, flaming arrows take down the ship, and he sees Aquaman as he submerses.
We have scripts for those kinds of things, Frank. Get with the times.
There can be only one!
This is assuming that the internet survives Obama’s driving us into an apocalypse?
So if Frank J is tits up…did he see Barry coming? And based on recent posts, he was truly Frankadomanus because he is right on track!
Frank as a modern Nostradamus? If you’re right, ussjc, he’ll come out with more predictions for the next four years leading up to Harvey’s Barackalypse. Wait… Maybe Harvey will.
I just had a brilliant idea!!! We start sending messages to liberal groups, using are Helpful Idiot handles, and tell them “We are sorry, but SunflowerSmellyPants is no more, as he was murdered by Dick Cheney’s personal assassination squad last night.
Just to be crystal clear, you stop a blogger that won’t die with an Internet version of the “Fairness Doctrine”.