A 4th grader asked Obama why people hate him, and it seemed a good question. It made me ask myself, “Why do I hate Obama?” Here’s what I came up with:
* He’s always playing his loud music late at night.
* He eats babies.
* He’s always mixing up “imply” and “infer”.
* There’s strong suspicion he’s a serial killer.
* His voice is kinda nasally.
* He doesn’t even try to hide his worship of Satan.
* He smothers his hot dog in ketchup.
* His favorite pastime is lighting orphanages on fire and laughing.
* He uses the wrong fork for his salad.
* He once tried to poison a reservoir with nerve toxin just to distract Batman.
* He’s a Democrat.
*He’s always making me look up his nose.
*He constantly asks me if his suit makes him look fat.
*He makes puppy and kitten Daiquiris.
He always shows up drunk to concerts, then wants to hold up signs all night or video with his camera phone.
* He’s the kind of arrogant city slicker that moves to a rural area, knowing that there’s a popular race track in the area (and has been there for 50+ years), and then complains about the noise from the race track. And then he votes for Democrats.
* I love America.
* He won’t share his abundant supply of waffles.
* He keeps Biden locked up in the wine cellar too often.
* I’m secretly racist.
* Arugula tastes like crap.
* Still no free unicorns.
* America was intended to be a city upon a hill – a shining bastion of freedom. Obama is just the sympton of a larger disease that has been allowed to spread.
* He has a peculiar BO.
* He parts his hair on the Left.
* He has that greasy, middle-Eastern, jihadist look.
* He doesn’t like cheeseburgers like Bill Clinton.
Somebody knows his Dirty Harry references! Attaboy, FrnakJ!
If he was really a god, Obama would fix our spelling errors. Another reason to hate!
* He allows MarkoMancuso to commit spelling errors.
* He prints phony money and spends it on dates with a Klingon.
He’s added gerbils to the endangered species list
He keeps saying, “Let me be clear” (as I grab my wallet &/or refer to the Constitution)
He keeps stealing a well known blogger’s bicycle seat
Borrows Letterman’s Palin wigs when he couples with his Palin blow-up toy
Unfairly uses a light saber against an opponent armed with an epee
Incessant whiner, currently sulking over the apparent failure of his Heisman campaign
*He makes Frank and Harvey post posts with nearly Identical subjects. ( which painfully points out how much funnier Harvey is than Frank.)
You rock Harvey!! I don’t care if you are a figment of Frank’s imagination.
According to Wikipedia:
He once said about Hillary Clinton: “I’d hit that!”
He has the complete DVD collection of “The Gillmore Girls”
He thinks Michael Keaton was the best Batman.
He thinks Andy Kaufman was funny.
because he still wears a mesh half shirt that says R.E.O Speedwagon showing off his belly, a pair of cut off blue jeans and “clogs” with a big comb in his back pocket, around the white house in his free time.
that and he still says things like pop a wheelie, radical, dude, and bogart
Arugala hating Racciiiissstt
he wants to keep my change
he lets his secret service pick thier nose on camera
he wants to tax waffles
he is against bacon
the first sasquatch
*he’s always trying to bum money off me to pay for his lastest scheme……
*he used the constitution to wipe his bum…..
*he doesn’t like guns……..
*he’s always saying “did I do that”…….
He uses up all the grey poupon.
He spritzes his arugula.
His wife killed Captain Kirk’s son
He doesn’t know how to properly hold a light saber.
Somewhere in Kenya, an elephant is missing it’s ears, and I know where they can be found.
Why does HE HATE ME?
He makes the wheels on the bus go thump, thump, thump.
He’s the only one that knows the secret location of The 7 States That Shall Not Be Named.
He lied!
‘Cuz God is a jealous God, and will have no other gods before Him.
Because he wants to make white the new black.
Because his wife looks like Patrick Ewing in drag
He knows how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, and he’s withholding information.
because he once spent time in a D.C. hotel room with the former mayor marion berry and a “constituent”
instead of going to the bunny ranch in nevada like everyone else
He’s trying WAY too hard to be Captain Kirk/William Shatner, only with more color.
He’s “done” every liberal member of the press including Helen Thomas
He throws a baseball like a girl…a very girlie girl
He’s dumber than AquaMan
His hero is Keith Olberman
The brains of the operation are The Teleprompter…
because he’s more of a tool than his own teleprompter
because looking at him riding a bike was the equivalent of seeing a fat chick on a moped
because the country would have been better off if we had actually elected the real urkel (thats not sarcasm)
Pingback: Top Ten Cloves: What if Barack Obama discovered America? | Legal-Sleaze.com
“His favorite pastime is lighting orphanages on fire and laughing.”
At least he cooks his babies before he eats them. Otherwise it would just be gross.
I wish I spoke another language. That way I could say, one more time, in a language that liberals might be able to understand, “I DO NOT HATE BARAK OBAMA”.
I disagree with his policies, I dislike his arrogance, I am afraid for my country but “I DO NOT HATE HIM”. For one thing hating him is counter productive, it won’t make him president any less amount of time. While I think his plans are foolish in the extreme, he has a right to them, just as I have a right not to support with my custom or anything else.
Why do I hate Obama? Because, in 1977, Barack Obama drugged, raped and sodomized a 13-year-old girl, then fled to Europe to avoid sentencing, and has lived as a fugitive in the south of France ever since. I don’t care how long it’s been, or how talented a President he may be, some things are just beyond the pale.
Because Rahm Emanual (sp?) is the man behind the curtain.
Pingback: Steynian 391 « Free Canuckistan!
He goes to the range and utters discouraging words. Oh yeah, he wants to shred all copies of the constitution and become the new global leader of all of us buffoons that couldn’t do it without him and his RuPaul wife.
Hey Frankie I happen to like ketchup and mustard but not relish on my hotdogs. You’re telling me not to makes you a fascist or commie.