So Arnold Schwarzenegger is going after the Tea Party. Well, California is kinda in a big hole, and they can’t do anything about it, so you’d expect them to lash out at everyone. There’s really nothing anyone can do, so I’m starting to hear talk of secession–not from California itself, but from the federal government, because if they could just plain get rid of California, that would be at least one less liability to worry about. They figure they’ll just have a press conference with Arnold, and it will seem that he’s going along with it, because no one can understand what he’s saying.
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT: “We are here because California has announced its plans to secede.”
ARNOLD: “What? What are you saying? You are not doing the sense-making!”
FEDS: “We’ve decided that California’s position is too entrenched, so it will be a quagmire to fight and take it back.”
ARNOLD: “No! We surrender! You take us back!”
FEDS: “So we will no longer be involved with California, and they will be fully autonomous.”
ARNOLD: “No! This wrong! You are crazy person!”
FEDS: “Good luck, Nation of California. We’ll check up on you in ten years or so.”
ARNOLD: “What? Hear me now and understand me as soon as possible: We want back! Take us back! Or at least let me resign as governor and flee the state first!”
And just like that, America is closer to being in the black.
We’ll just end up with a bunch of illegal California nationals in the US. Of course they’ll refuse to assimilate – they’ll just want us to accomodate them by serving organic arugala in school lunches and with public financing of their breast implants.
Do we get to keep El Toro Marine base? How about Camp Pendleton? Do we have to take San Francisco, or is it something we could sell to North Korea for the right price? Do we have to take Nancy Pelosi? Or could could she go to the North Koreans to sweeten the deal. Arnold will be no trouble; he’ll just be deported back to Austria.
Actually, there is at least one country that became independent in that manner. Malaysia kicked out the city of Singapore, and Singapore has been a city-state ever since. It was race rioting that caused the Parliament and Prime Minister of Malaysia, unanimously, to kick the city of Singapore out of the country on August 9, 1965.
Ugh, my wife’s from California. Guess this means my kids would become a bunch of half-breeds, or in other words, your modern day Samaritans.
this is awesome.
Let’s pick out a nice room next to McCain in the old RINO idiot retirement center. Then, the grownups can get to work undoing the damage these children have done.
“You can’t kick us out !!! I be back.”
Wouldn’t it make more sense to put it on Cragslist and sell it?
craigslist would be a great idea if cali was an asset instead of a liability, but I suppose there are suckers born every day…
California stole my wallet!
Actually, California pays more in federal taxes than it gets back, so getting rid of California would put the rest of the U.S. further in the red. And we did pass Prop. 187, before the Federal judges told us we couldn’t because immigration was a national issue, not a state issue. And it’s the Federal judges telling us we have to release half of our prisoners now. Then again, we do have that 10 day waiting period for gun purchases; that’s on us, not the feds. And I have no rational explanation for Pelosi, Boxer, or Maxine Waters. Are you sure you don’t want to keep them?
I’m from Cali, I’d just like to say that the Feds should kick us out of the Union. Then they should invade to reconquer it, with as many casualties as possible. I volunteer to head up the fifth column. We’ll be waiting for your signal to start operations.
Wolverines!
That was good until the last racist sentence.
Is there anyone who didn’t read this in Arnold’s accent?