I had fun with this yesterday, so let’s try this again. BTW, my favorite from yesterday was from commenter Genghis Khan: “So, is it just me, or does it seem a bit redundant to note that a man with a Joe Biden obsession is mentally ill?”
Anywho, the International Atomic Energy Agency of the U.N. has finally said, “Hey, Iran might be working on nukes.” This is actually the first time the U.N. has said something along those lines, so my first reaction is when are they going to make statement of whether the sky is blue — which I don’t consider a joke but a starting point. Like maybe they could follow this with a statement that North Vietnam is thinking of invading South Vietnam; I’m still just spit-balling here.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure there is a good joke here. I’m thinking the best angle is on how late to the game the U.N. is on noticing the Iran nuclear threat — so basically my mind is working for stating in a very oblique manner that the U.N. is really late to making an obvious observation. Nothing good as sprung to mind yet. So have at it, and maybe you can think of a better angle.
The U.N. is concerned that Saddam Hussein may have hostile intentions towards Kuwait.
The U.N. suspects human rights violations in China, Zaire, Russia, Tallahassee Florida, and Michael Vick’s backyard.
The U.N. issues a report that the Taco Bell diet may not be an effective weight-loss strategy.
And in related news, the UN has just recognized that the earth may be round and not flat as previously thought.
I was just reading that the U.N. is considering putting together a a group to discuss climate change.
Today the UN has determined that the giant ball of fire in the sky may actually be responsible for climate change and not simply there to lead “wise men” to Barack Obama.
The United Nations today announced their intention to file an inquiry into the death of Abel, son of Adam.
The United Nations announced today that there may have been some minor abuses of their 1990s “Iraq Oil for Food” program.
They also announced that Israel occassionally suffers unprovoked attacks from it’s Arab neighbors.
(just kidding – they’ll never admit that)
The UN was approached regarding growing concerns with discontent aimed at King George III expressed by colonists in the New World. However, after a UN committee investigated the situation, UN inspectors concluded that there was no reason to believe that the colonists were attempting to secede from England’s rule, and that rumors of a pending “revolutionary” war were entirely unfounded.
The International Atomic Energy Agency of the U.N. has made the determination that Iran may be working on Nukes. Upon this discovery they immediately got on the phone to alert the U.S. president, Jimmy Carter.
No matter how hard I try I can find absolutely nothing funny, humorous, or amusing about Iran now having Nuclear weapons…sorry. As far as the UN goes…well, they’ve always been a joke, and a damn pathetic one at that.
We’re not monkeys for you tell us to dance!
Un-be-lieve-a-bile! I’m totally insulted.
So here’s mine.
IAEA warns world North Korean Supreme Leader, Kim Jong Il, likes poofy hair.
Film at eleven.
UN channels JFK to warn him about Dallas motorcade.
UN jealous of Woodrow Wilsons’ cool new tan.
Proven a sure fire hit, UN invests heavily in White Star Line.
“That joke was so funny, I forgot to laugh.”—Lisa Loopner
The U.N has confirmed, after decades of expensive research, that a yellow ball, known as “the sun”, does in fact rise each day. Further research will determine if the movement is due to the sun rotating around the earth, the earth rotating around the sun, or the movements of a giant turtle. Most climate Science!tists take the latter position.
# 9 zzyzx says:
“No matter how hard I try I can find absolutely nothing funny, humorous, or amusing about Iran now having Nuclear weapons…sorry. As far as the UN goes…well, they’ve always been a joke, and a damn pathetic one at that.”
I find myself in complete agreement, however I think he should be nicer the the people of Zephrhills.
The UN announced today that it is completely broke, having lost it’s entire operating budget in a game of three-card Monty.
It’s called gallows humor, zzyzx. Nonetheless, I can understand your opinion.
It would, of course, be funnier if our “leaders” cared about lives being wiped out in a flash. It rather reminds me of Paths of Glory.
Hmmm… Why can’t I see the comments?
I say nuclear weapons and long range missiles are no problem as long as they don’t acquire any of those dreaded weapons of mass destruction, cause if they do that then the UN is gonna be on their case! … and yes, that could involve meetings, speeches and possibly charts!
The UN has concluded that coming up with their motto,”We bring the stench and the stupid if you build the stalags” has been their main accomplishment. A close second was once hiding the comments from Frye.
The UN announced today that it supports these forthcoming events:
The transfer of Hong Kong to China & the transfer of the Panama Canal to Panama
The UN today sent it’s congratulations to the UK on their new monarch, Queen Elizabeth
The UN today realized that a really big chunk of their budget comes from the US – and that lots of folks in the US are pissed. Having weathered the previous crisis about this during the Reagan years, they are confident that it is of no real consequence.
In related news, the UN travel guide describes the USA as “mostly harmless”.
Headline: UN Commission determines Most of the Earth’s Water is Wet. Findings preliminary: and more funding needed.
Frye, do you use Internet Explorer? There have been some, ah, issues as of late.
The UN has finished an investigation about the possible sightings of a snake near an apple tree, and ruled that the snake is no threat to humans.
UN warns there may be an attempt on Abe Lincoln’s life.
Hmmmmmmm ……… no sign of Bender either. Something weird going on.
UN Voices concern over tne destruction of the library in Alexandria, blames Israel.
UN Security Council Subcomitte Concludes Statism is Cool. China and Russia Veto Resolution Like the Dorks They Are.
The UN Secretary General was severely injured today while attempting to lick a frost covered signpost. Several other UN employees attempted to help the Secretary, all of whom ended up with their tongues stuck to the post as well. There were no survivors.
The newly sworn in UN Secretary General was severely injured today while attempting to demonstrate how the previous Secretary had lost his life by licking a frozen sign post. Several other UN employees attempted to help the Secretary, all of whom ended up with their tongues stuck to the post as well. There were no survivors.
In what has become an annual ritual, the newly sworn in UN Secretary General was severely injured today while attempting to demonstrate how the previous two Secretaries had lost their lives by licking a frozen sign post. Several other UN employees attempted to help the Secretary, all of whom ended up with their tongues stuck to the post as well. There were no survivors.
#30 – Rick, LOL!
We need more lamp posts in front of the UN, preferably chilled with liquid nitrogen.
This is just taking too long.
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