Today is July 5th, the day we celebrate the day after signing the Declaration of Independence. That’s when the Founding Fathers were all like, “What did we just do? What did we just do? How drunk were we? The British are so going to kill all of us. They are going to come over here in red coats and shoot us with muskets!”
And another was like, “Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe we can take it back and… Oh no! The mailman already came! That letter is going to King George, and he is going to capture us all and throw us in a pit filled with angry baboons. I just know it!”
And John Hancock was like, “Why did I have to sign it so big? I just wanted to show my wife I’m a big man. They’re going to hang me while shooting me with muskets. I’m going to go dig a hole and hide in it.”
And George Washington was like, “You idiots! Another fine mess you’ve gotten me into. Guess there’s nothing left to do except beat the British militarily and form our own country. Anyone have like a For Dummies book on military tactics or something?”
And that’s the story of our country.
So them say you are good blogger if you grow your traffic over time. If you has only flat being traffic as you has then you no good as blogger. Ha ha you no good as blogger. You has not grown traffic of imao.us in years. Is only same as was years ago. Ha ha ha. Pathetic is you.
On July 5th Thomas Jefferson was quoted as saying “Dude, I totally forgot to add the /sarc tag.My bad.”
Haha what kind of comment is that, mybottomissexy? I can’t tell if that’s a spambot or a human, but either way I’m pretty sure he/she/it has the same level of intelligence as as relatively stupid computer program. And regardless, mybottomissexy, pathetic is you. Keep up the good work, Frank. Ha ha you good as blogger, them say you are good blogger.
One addition – Ben Franklin was probably sitting in a corner somewhere in Philadelphia smoking a joint and telling everyone “Chill out, man, it’s alllllll good.”
Hummmm, mybottomissexy must be another of your Kazakhstan fans.
Where were the Brits gonna get the baboons in 1776? A pit full of angry baboons is a bit of a stretch.
Now, a pit full of angry pit bulls might have worked.
Or a pit full of angry lap dogs.
Yeah, it should have been a pit full of angry pit bulls.
*snort*
We need to sign the Declaration to find out what’s in it.
It is my civvy conclusion that Admiral Halsey could have used a “for dummies” book.
A bit off topic, but have you seen this?
Someone is stealing your ideas.
i am really suprised this post did not contain the phrase “the junk”.
Don’t you see? Frank ticked off evil angry monkey’s playmate when he mentioned “a pit of angry baboons”.
@Schlega: It does seem to be theft; however, they do such a lame job of it and everything else that it’d almost be embarrassing to claim it, dontcha think?
Props to Burmashave.
In no way can I top Burma’s comment. No way.
“Blow up the moon.” sheesh lame. Not even worth a hippie face punch.
I find that link depressing. I suppose we are not supposed to nuke the oil spill. No, we’ll “blow it up”. Such lack of specificity is killing America.
Given the obvious chinese origin of that shirt, I’m rather surprised they managed to insert the word “up” in the sentence.
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And, Obama was like, “Man, I wish I had been alive back then so that I could have turned in those founding fathers and helped them lose the war.”
@DamnCat — thanks! my monitor needed more stuff on it anyway!
John Hancock was all like, I signed what? I thought that was a get well card!
So the left was around then too?