Earlier this month, Wayne State University decided to stop awarding the “Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media” award.
What does that mean? Well, it means that they actually gave a “Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media” award. Which, to me, is a bigger story than stopping the giving of a “Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media” award.
Earlier this year, she finally retired after catching flack for saying that Israelis should “get the hell out of Palestine” and “go home.” To which Konzentrationslager, she didn’t say.
Anyway, she recently defended her comments, then said the Jews were out to get her.
That was finally too much for Wayne State University, which had given the “Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media” award.
What should they replace it with?
Well, how about something that makes just as much sense as a “Helen Thomas Spirit of Diversity in the Media” award? How about:
- Barack Obama Leadership Award
- Markos Moulitsas Humanitarian Award
- Julian Assange Safe Sex Award
- Keith Olbermann Journalism Award
- Al Gore Science Award
There must be plenty of examples of awards that some liberal institute of higher learning could give. Any other ideas?
The Teddy Kennedy Safe Driving Award
The Bill Clinton Respect for Women Award
☺ The Ahmedinejad Religious Tolerance Award
☺ The Kim Jong Il Nuclear Disarmament Award
☺ The Pelosi Constitutional Government Commemorative Plaque
☺ The George Soros Economic Freedom Medal
☺ The Mitt Romney Inspirational State Health Care Award
The Alan Grayson Civility Award
The Hugo Chavez Democracy Prize
The Osama Bin Ladin Tolerance Award
DOH – Jimmy beat me on tolerance.
Why stop with just a single award? You could have an entire program that allows multiple people to compete for awards. That’s right, I’m talking about the 1st Annual Nancy Pelosi Beauty Contest!
The Nancy Pelosi Pennypincher Award
The Joy Behar Smart AND Beautiful Award
The Harry Reid “I’m Too Sexy For My Shorts” Award
* The Al Gore Nobel Peace Prize
* The Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize
What? That actually happened? You have got to be *^$#ing kidding me…
* The United States Senate Diversity Award
* The Rational Decisions and Logic Award presented by the BCS
* The Ace of Spades Politaclly Correct Commentator Award
* The FOX Television Award for Continuing to Air Popular Shows
* The GLAAD “Don’t Force Your Values on Me” Annual Irony Award
The East Anglia University prize for environmental studies.
The Robert Mugabe Congeniality Award
The Brian David Mitchell award for outstanding scholarship in theological studies
The Big Sis Junk Touching Award
Catie Couric Perky and Smart Award
Obama female appointees look gender neutral award
Obama “I won” award
Bill Clinton’s Third Term Award
Sarah Palin Moose Slaughtering Award
Eric Holder’s Everyone is Mandated to Have Car Insurance Award
Islam Religion of Peace Award
Jooooooooos are Bad Award
As It Turns Out Freedom Is Free Award
* The USMC Inert Metal for Islamist Leadership (both .50 and 5.56 versions)
* The Michelle Obama Fashion Award
* The Eric Holder Equality in Justice Medal
* The Barbra Boxer Major Achievment Medal (MAM)
OK, I can tell from #10 that my awards were just too ‘high class.’ My revised list is:
The Harry Reid My Sh!t Stinks Award
The Barney Frank Greatest American Wieners & Buns Eating Contest
The Michael Moore My Penis Is Lost In Hidden Rolls of Fat Award
The International Helen Thomas Most Horrendous Face Mask Competition
The Annual Rosie O’Donnell I’m A Wannabe Fat B!tchass Invitational Winner
The Albert Gore Cap ‘n Trade My Ass Cranial-Rectal Inversion With Carbon Credits From Green Energy And Crap In Your Septic Tank Award
– The Nancy Pelosi Beauty Award
– The Charlie Rangle Congressional Ethics Award
– The Yasser Arafat Nation Building Award
– The Barney Frank Escort Service Award
– The Michelle Obama McRibb Eating Award
– The IMAO Award For Best Attempt To Nuke The Moon
– The Helen Thonas Gargoyle Award
The Anthony Weiner Respect for Others and One’s Own Sanity Award
The Barney Frank Speaking Without Spitting Award
The Jimmy Carter Knowing When It’s Done and You Need to Stop Award (Current Lead for this one: Brett Favre)
The Chris Matthews Award for Chic Hair Styling
The Obama Blame Bush Leadership Award
The Barbara Boxer How Not to Be a Heinous Biatch Award
The Congressional Value of a Dollar Award
The Kennedy Clean & Clear Award
The Kennedy Driver Safety Award
The Bill Clinton Fidelity Award
The Michael Moore Fitness Award
Rosie O’Donnel Critical Thinkers Award
The Coffee Party Relevance Award
* The Bob Etheridge “Who’s Who in Student Journalism” Award (aka the “Chokey)
* The TSA “Frequent Fondler” Award (aka the “Gropey”)
* The Peggy West US Border Geography Award
The award for the IMAO poster who comes up with the best award…award.
The John Edwards Machoness Award
The John Edwards Marital Fidelity Award
The Fred Phelps Award for the Advancement of GLBT Rights
Dick Cheney Hunting Safety Award
Joe Biden Excellence in Verbal Communication Award
The Chris Hays / Rachael Maddow Androngynus Host Award
The Clinton/ Kennedy Respect for Women Award
The Rosie O’Donnell Metallurgy Knowledge Award
The Manning / Moore Patriot Award for Defending National Security
Nancy Pelosi Award For Not Being Creepy
Barack Obama Lifetime Achievement Award
Barack Obama Citizenship Award
Barack Obama Standing-Tall-And-Proud-And-Also-Not-Bowing-To-Foreigners Award
Joe Biden Public Speaking Award
Sarah Palin Vegetarianism Award
Michael Moore Weightloss Award (Slightly less prestigious than the Rosie O’Donnell Weightloss Award)
Ted Kennedy Driving Award
Kanye West Politeness Award (Sorry, I just really love country music)
The Richard Dawkins “Promise Keepers” Award
The Charlie Crist Award for Steadfastness of Principles
The Justin Bieber Musical Talent Award
The Madonna Politically Informed Award
The Whoopie Goldberg Hot & Sexy Award
The Richard Gere Appropriate Comment Award