* So the winner of Iowa caucus is… Romney, by eight votes. He narrowly beat out Rick Santorum who one might think would have a boost from this, but pretty much no one thinks he has a chance to carry on his momentum to other states. Plus, I don’t really get what his qualifications are supposed to be. He was a Senator and while ago and…
Anyway, now Romney is expected to sew up his inevitability soon. Intrade has him at over 90% chance to win New Hampshire, and that will probably be about it already.
So do you guys like Romney? Okay, but can you tolerate him? Sure you can.
* Iowa was supposed to be Ron Paul’s big day, but he ended up taking third by winning hugely among the non-Republicans voting in a Republican primary. He also did well in the youth vote, also known as morons.
Still, third is a respectful finish… which makes Iowa less respectful for giving it to him. So will Ron Paul be able to build off his momentum and attract more crazy to propel him to the win? Probably not. If only real life were an online poll that nuts with lots of time on their hands could game.
* As for the other candidates, Gingrich seems angry he came fourth, Rick Perry came fifth and his “reassessing” his campaign, and Michelle Bachman came in last — after having won the Iowa straw poll — but claims she’s going to continue her campaign (though it’s starting to look otherwise). Oh, and I guess Huntsman is still around who has been concentrating all his time on New Hampshire. He’s the one not-Romney who hasn’t had his time in the sun yet. Will he surprise everyone in New Hampshire and get the desperate votes of everyone still hoping to stop Mitt? Probably not. We tried to stop Romney and failed, people. We can just hope Obama does no better.
* John McCain has endorsed Mitt Romney. So if you were worried that Romney is some sort of RINO squish, that should allay your fears.
* Obama is putting his campaign theme together that he hopes will propel him to victory. Here’s one that might work for him: “Know what’s annoying? Jobs.”
* The Pentagon is abandoning the idea they should be able to wage two wars at once. So if we’re already in one war and you try to war against us, you’re going to be put on hold.
* Things have seemed pretty bad in the world lately, but there is still innovation. For instance, we now have Scotch in a can! Just what a desperate people were waiting for: 12 ounces of Scotch in a non-resealable container. You get the alcohol content of eight beers in a single can, so less waste to hurt the environment.
Seems kind of low class though. It’s certainly not sophisticated as cognac in a can.
* A Marine, going off faulty information on the internet, thought he could legally carry in New York City, and when he tried to check his gun at the Empire State Building in an attempt to comply with laws, he wound up arrested and may face fifteen years in prison. Good job gun laws protecting us from law abiding citizens who will volunteer they have a firearm when asked.
We’re now past forty states with right to carry, so shouldn’t we be shaming these last few holdouts the way we would places that still support segregation? This is America; we should have no tolerance for being backwards on the concept of liberty.
* Wisdom of the Day from Sarah:
I didn’t realize Ron Paul had a wife. I kind of thought he was like Papa Smurf.
If RON PAUL!!1!1! attracted any more crazy, wouldn’t he become a singularity at this point?
“thought he could legally carry in New York City”
So did I because I read the consitution.
Naw….Papa Smurf is a well known commie. Ron Paul may be a lot of things but he’s no commie. http://www.angelfire.com/mo/potatofarm/smurf.html
In fetid flophouses all over Iowa, dope-addled leftist youth are waking up and going, “Dude, you mean the caucus was yesterday???”
“* John McCain has endorsed Mitt Romney. So if you were worried that Romney is some sort of RINO squish, that should allay your fears.”
Thanks, Frank. My fears have been allayed – and replaced with dread.
McRomney for President!!!!111!!
You know what’s crazy? I got so sick of the regular crop of R nominees, that I decided to listen to the Ron Paul campaign instead of high-fiving all my sane friends about how sane we are about voting for some not-Romney that was not-Paul. I kinda realized that when I was talking about Ron Paul, I was starting to sound just as much of an asshole as all my D friends do when they talk about the Tea Party.
So fuck it. I’ll go full moonbat as long as I get to vote on principal. Good job internet nuts, you got one more voter. Looking forward to casting my NH vote this Tuesday for Ron Paul.
Oh, and Skyward Sword was okay, but how many goddamn times to I have to prove my worth to fight Demise? Did someone say “padding”?
No, I can’t f**king tolerate a man who can only pretend to be a conservative.
I would much rather Romney just stop with his phony politician BS and just start acting like the liberal his record proves him to be.
The Pentagon is abandoning the idea they should be able to wage two wars at once. So if we’re already in one war and you try to war against us, you’re going to be put on hold.
So how many small wars equal one big one? If that number is 2 or more, I guess we’re also screwed if just one big one breaks out.
So, after the Iowa caucuses held last night, Romney has already captured 0 of the 1,144 delegates he needs to secure the Republican nomination. Now the entirety of the conservative blogoshpere is ready to give up and just have Romney be the nominee.
So, if I understand this right, 30,000 people in Iowa voted for Romney last night, out of an Iowa population of 3,046,000, and a U.S. population of 312,799,000. That means that so far, less than 1% of the Iowa population and less than 0.01% of the U.S. population have voted for Romney, giving him a total of 0 delegates. And everyone is ready to crown him the nominee?
No wonder they call Republicans the stupid party.
On a related note, if Romeny were to somehow win every vote in the New Hampshire primary in one week, he would then have secured a whopping 12 delegates (again, out of a total of 1,144 needed), or 1% of the number he needs to secure the nomination.
If, however, he only gets 41% of the vote like he’s been polling lately, that would give him 5 delegates, or 0.43% of the number he needs.
So, where does that leave us? No one likes Romney. Bachmann is out. Ron Paul is nutjob who gets more democrats to vote for him than Republicans. That leaves Perry, Gingrich and Santorum. So, everyone ought to quit their b***hing about Romney, and start making the case for their preferred Not-Romney. There’s plenty of time to chose one we can support.
Please: take a deep breath, swallow the flavor the horse manure in your mouth, relax, and accept Romney. Now. Resistance is futile.
Now that Herman Cain is gone, I can say “Romney’s the guy” without projectile vomiting
But, truly, deep down in the rectum of my heart: blah. Just plain, friggin’ blah.
However, here’s how it is:
– Bachman: out
– Perry: ain’t gonna happen
– Santorum: ain’t gonna happen
– Huntsman: let his name never be spoken again in relation to the 2012 election
– Paul: Bats**t crazy – ain’t gonna happen
– Newt: slightly less bats**t crazy – ain’t gonna happen
– Romney: the only one left who will BOTH repeal Obamacare and not support amnesty.
So, unless T.V. and movies have lied to me about a politician’s sticking to his campaign promises, Romney is the only
reasonable (logical) game in town now. Gawd — that’s depressing.
A true conservative? no
A true moderate conservative? hell, no
The Republicans’ version of the John “Breck Girl” Edwards? yes
Good-looking? Hell, yes – I just wanna hug and squeeze the little f***er, he’s so cute.
Ron Paul 2012: Because there’s nothing in the Constitution that says people can’t have their heads up their asses when they vote.
But make no mistake: inside, not very deep down, I am wailing uncontrollably like an abandoned little kitten.
The Pentagon is abandoning the idea they should be able to wage two wars at once. So if we’re already in one war and you try to war against us, you’re going to be put on hold.
To be fair, Congress has been denying our brave service men and women the means to prosecute multiple wars at once. In the future, Congress will only deny our military the ability to fight a single war.
It’s nothing new. Kipling had it figured out:
Arresting the marine for trying to safely check a gun is sort of like arresting a person for kidnapping when he finds a lost child and brings said child to the police to be safe.
It’s a sad day for NYC when they make a move that even some Californians would look at and say, “Wow, that’s dumb.”
“So do you guys like Romney? Okay, but can you tolerate him? Sure you can.”
Yeah, with John McCain’s endorsement, what’s not to like?
I keep saying to myself “Any of our guys are better than any of their guys….”, and if iIkeep saying it long enough I might believe it.
The left has some nasty vitriol for Santorum, on a Palin hating level. He must have done something right.
I find it interesting that Romney is a RHINO squish (which I agree that he is) because most Mormons (myself included) are borderline right-wing gun-clinging extremists on par with evangelicals (politically speaking). Huntsman confuses me even more since he grew up in the intermountain west (Utah) and surely should be anything but a RHINO. I guess they weren’t raised right.
The problem, Ernie, is a thing called media narratives.
NO ANYONE BUT ROMNEY!!!
Let us all TOTALLY stick to EVERY conservative principle, screw the middle, pick up our 20% of the voters, nominate someone who is a TRUE BLUE ALL THE WAY conservative, and watch that f-in Keyan socialist bastard manage to grab the middle and win another 4 years, ensuring the end of this country as we know it.
Yah, anyone but Romney. Go ahead. Keep saying that. Pick someone who can not beat Ears for dogcatcher much less President of the United States. Remain unbending. Remember, Even Ronald Reagan did not run as a hard-core conservative and picked up MILLIONS of middle-of-the-road voters.
“So will Ron Paul be able to build off his momentum and attract more crazy to propel him to the win?”
In his Iowa non-victory speech, RONPAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!eleventy!!! gave a hat tip to his “volunteers“.
Does anyone else remember another presidential candidate, a few years back, using the exact same term?
That’s right, sportsfans…RONPAUL!!!eleventy! has channeled the ghost of ROSSPEROT!?!?!?!non-eleventy!?!
The VOLUNTEERS are back!
This should be more than enough crazy riding hell-bent-for-leather on political stick-ponies to propel PAUL!!! to his own padded cell in the nearest asylum if not to the White House.
Greg, I disagree. See, Scotch in a can is like…
Fillet Mignon on a paper plate
Chateaubriand with your fingers
Foie Gras on a plastic spoon
Bouillabaisse in a paper cup
Escargot on a stick
Are you saying that Romney is like Scotch in a can?
[citation needed]
MILLIONS, Marko, MILLIONS.
And as Mittch McRomney says, we don’t want to end up like Greece.
But unless you’re willing to cut about $1.5T out of the Federal Budget, Mittch, we’re gonna end up like Grease (in the drip pan of history).
Now, where’s my Scotch in a can?
As a matter of principle, I refuse to purchase scotch from any company whose VP thinks it is OK to mix scotch with CocaCola. Rocks–OK, Water–OK, Soda–OK, Heck even milk is OK, But never CocaCola.
Ron Paul is married but it’s not his fault. A member of his staff said “I do” on his behalf without his knowledge.
Oops. I left out Drambuie. I do occasionally like me a Rusty Nail.
As a 7-month pregnant mom of a little girl entering her terrible twos, I can say that right now I would love some scotch in a can. Or in a bucket. Or in a shot glass. Or with green eggs and ham.
But will you drink it on a boat? Or will you drink it with a goat? Will you drink it here, or there? Will you drink it anywhere? Will you explain to little Sydney, “Mom just needs to pickle her kidneys”? Will you drink it during labor, shocking doctors, friends and neighbors? Will you drink it while you nurse, hiding cans inside your purse? Or will your drinks be all pretend, as obstetricians recommend?
Is it true Mormons don’t drink?
Then Romney couldn’t be like ‘Scotch in a can.’
He’s more like a can of pop with no fizz.
Am I the only one who drinks my scotch out of a can? A six pack of scotch is really a good deal when a six of beer just isn’t enough. The only prob is that it only works if you like your scotch neat. I like my scotch on the rocks, but I can’t figgur out how to pound ice cubes into the little opening.
In an effort to dissociate himself from the self-indulgent reputation of his father, and as a token of solidarity with his impoverished countrymen, Kim Jong Un says he’ll only drink Hennessy cognac from a can.
Another fine example of how horribly stupid our law is today.
It’s my fault Rick Santorum didn’t win in Iowa.
I heard today that Rick spent about 73 cents for every vote he got in Iowa.
If I’d sent him 20 bucks last week like I meant to, he’d have been able buy another 27 votes and still had 29 cents change left over.
This is me, wracked – wracked I tell ya – with guilt.
🙁
Why didn’t the marine take out his gun and shoot the person who tried to arrest him in the face? Or at least punch him out! I hate NY City and California! Can’t we like Jack Hammer them loose and then let them float out to sea or something…oh yea, they will tip over – hmm…
Hmmm, Huntsman said “In Iowa they pick corn, in New Hampshire they pick presidents and I pick my nose with my fingers.” Or maybe he didn’t say that, he’s not that interesting that I feel like paying attention.
Romney’s OK, I voted for him last time.
I have heard it said: “you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose” I have accepted that as true, even though I have never tried to disprove it.
Ok, this may be late, but that is a spectacular Dr. Suess-esque poem there, Crabby Old Bat. My hat is off to you for that one.
Ok, I sent Santorum 20 bucks, so my guilt is assuaged.