DamnCat [High Praise!] on Obamacare:
Archive of entries posted on June 2012
Moon Nuker Theater: Abraham Lincoln Reacts to the Supreme Court’s Health Care Decision
[High Praise! to Chris]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #16)
You can take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (“If you can type, you can make movies”). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.
A Public Service Message for Those Disappointed by the SCOTUS Obamacare Decision
Satire: Obama to Skip Convention
Reader Arik getting his shot at fame & glory at Nuking Politics.
Excerpt:
In a surprise move, President Obama today announced that he will not attend the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, in August. This would mark the first time a presidential candidate has missed the convention at which he was to be nominated.
This move, described as “the Nuclear Option,” comes as a number of other prominent Democrats, including West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill, have also chosen to skip the convention in order to focus on what promise to be difficult reelection campaigns.
Said the President: “I have a lot of work to do for the people, and they need me to do it. It’s important that I so what they need me to do and I won’t let them down. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make this putt to save par.”
More at the link above.
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “How can you tell if Obama’s been in your house?“.
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Caption This: Young Obama and His Dog
Romney’s Cruelest Way of Getting Under Obama’s Skin
Outside an Obama fundraiser at Boston Symphony Hall, the Romney campaign bus drove by twice, honking its horn.
If Romney REALLY wanted to be mean, the bus’s horn would play the Beatles’ “Taxman”
10 Things Besides the Health Care Law We Should Name After Obama
SCOTUS ruled that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is constitutional. It’s a terrible law, and everyone, including the President, calls it “Obamacare.”
So… what else should be named after him?
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1) The next dinosaur to be discovered in a communist country.
2) That one part of the toilet that never seems to work right and is a huge, messy pain in the ass to fix? I call it the “Obama valve”
3) Any sewage treatment plant that received stimulus funds.
4) Remember how they powered Thunderdome? That fuel should be called “Obamanol”.
5) That little piece of wood the Speaker of the House whacks his gavel on.
6) The next ship taken out of mothballs to be used as a target during wargames. [High Praise! to Ogrrre]
7) When the House re-introduces and re-passes the “Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act“, just call it the “Obamacare Sucks Act” this time.
8) Any spot on your back that really itches that you just can’t reach that eventually turns into a malignant melanoma.
9) A generic term that encompasses both the liquid and solid contents of a litter box.
10) The act of walking barefoot to the bathroom in the middle of the night without turning on the light and stepping on a stray Lego piece.
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Regardless of what gets named after Obama in the future, rest assured that from now own, every time I say his name, it will be with that distinctive Samuel-L-Jacksonian tone and emphasis that would make a call-screener scramble desperately for the bleep-button out of sheer reflex, subconsciously convinced that I’d just uttered a particularly foul obscenity on the air.
Link of the Day: Modern Movies Envisioned As Pulp Science Fiction Book Covers
Welcome to Timothy Anderson Illustration
I compliment Tim Anderson on both his artistic ability and creativity.
Be sure not to miss the salacious yet work-safe “Blade Runner” and “Alien” covers at the link above
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Just One Quick Question
Finally! Something NOT About Obamacare: Proof the Moon Landing Was Real
SCOTUS Decision Wasn’t Roberts, It Was Bobby aka Obamacare’s Julia
The 10 Best Ways to Respond to SCOTUS Upholding Obamacare
Ok, take 5 seconds to lick your wounds.
Good. Now are you an AmeriCAN or an AmeriCAN’T?
If you’re the former, it’s time to jump into action. This is how I think we should respond.
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1) Activate the Omega-13
2) Do whatever it is that America did after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.
3) Paint our faces blue and choreograph a well-timed kilt-lift.
4) Quick! While Obama’s distractedly cackling and torturing our offspring by shooting lightning out of his fingertips, pick him up and throw him down the shaft!
5) Send a one-word telegram to the White House: “NUTS!” [High Praise! to Burmashave]
6) Who ya gonna call? (I looked it up, the number’s 555-2368)
7) This is not a catastrophe. This is, as J.R.R. Tolkien would say, a eucatastrophe. Roberts may have decided to keep “The Precious,” but we haven’t left Mt. Doom yet.
8) Hey President Jafar – you should wish to be a genie!
9) Screw the Force. Turn the targeting computer back on.
10) Aim to misbehave.
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And for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, don’t start freaking out like some sort of green lieutenant fresh out of the academy:
UPDATE: If you’re feeling short on inspirational role models for what lies ahead: Legless Man Climbs Mt. Kilimanjaro on Hands
