“Did your house burn down in Colorado? Instead of rebuilding, consider sending your insurance money to the Obama campaign.”

So as I understand it, poor sick people were dying constantly before Obamacare but then they stopped but will again if it’s repealed?

I don’t even know how our Republic survived those hundreds of years before Obamacare.

I like how Valve went with episodic content for Half Life so they could release new content quicker.

“If the Supreme Court rules the way the majority of the public wants it to, it will lose the public’s trust.” -liberals

Headbutting is kind of hard to practice.

I think liberals’ hysterical reactions to the Supreme Court may cause our country to lose faith in hysterical liberals.

A violin and a fiddle can’t be the same instrument. One takes years of training and the other a toothless hillbilly can play.

“I am altering the Constitution. Pray I don’t alter it any further.” -Darth Bader Ginsburg

Pelosi: “We need to pass it and months later have the Supreme Court rule on it to find out what’s in it.”

What do you get someone for their “my hugely unpopular law is at least Constitutional as a massive tax” celebration?

I have a way to use this new unlimited tax power to stimulate the economy: tax whining.

By the time I retire, Social Security will be a robot that disintegrates you with a laser when you are no longer a tax contributor.

Oh. I can’t play the game I paid $60 for because Battle.net is experience a “high volume of traffic.” Thanks, Blizzard.

So when would be a more convenient time for me to play Diablo III, Blizzard? How can I better fit this around your schedule?

Apple had a good run, but by far the biggest innovator this year is Taco Bell.

If I understand Fast & Furious, Agent Brian Terry being shot was exactly the sort of thing they hoped to happen so they could collect data?

Was that data useful?

“What’s your plan?”
“First, we sell guns to Mexican drug cartels…”
“You’re fired.” -competent DOJ

So, as I understand it, the only unintentional mistake of Fast & Furious is that someone other than Mexicans were killed?

“300 plus people are dead.”
“I know! Think of all the data!” #Fast&Furious

Because of childhood amnesia, people don’t have any real memories until age 4, so I’m okay just ignoring Buttercup until then.

I don’t get why there are so many Telly Monster-centric plots in modern Sesame Street.

Telly Monster existed back when I watched Sesame Street, but I don’t even remember him. Now he’s in every episode.

I never minded when Obama bowed to foreign monarchs, but it did bother me when he curtsied.

Watched some Buster Keaton. That guy is like Jackie Chan with a bunch of WYSIWYG stunts.

“No one can be told what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. Union rules.”

So are we going to be taxed now for not doing stuff, because not doing stuff is one of my favorite things.

I guess Anderson Cooper was waiting to come out until Tom Cruise was single.

“I know I’m fair and balanced because I anger both sides.” -Charles Manson

They finally found the Higgs Boson? How is he doing? Is he okay?

I remember when I last saw the Higgs Boson. It was a bar on a Friday night. We talked about last night’s Seinfeld episode. Long time ago. When the Higgs Boson didn’t show up at work the next Monday, we were concerned. A week later, his wife was inconsolable. But everyone loved the Higgs Boson. “We will find him!” they vowed. “We will put the best scientists on this and we will find him.”

I’m glad they found the Higgs Boson. I wanted scientists to confirm that matter exists before I invested in real estate.

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UPDATE: Linked by Hatless in Hattiesburg