They’re is a lot of navel gazing about guns right now, but I liked the question asked at the beginning of this CNN article: “What is it about American and guns?”
I figured we might as well try and answer it.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT AMERICANS AND GUN?
* We’re awesome.
* We’re not a bunch of cravens.
* There are a lot of things we need to put holes in and sometimes they’re at a distance.
* We don’t immediately surrender all our liberty every time there is a loud noise.
* They’re shiny (we like shiny things).
* It is the weapon of civilized man.
* Just kind of like the way the weight feels in your hand.
* They’re a hedge investment again zombie apocalypse.
* They make fun loud noises.
* Diving for cover while waving two daggers just looks stupid.
* We feel safer having freedom than politicians’ empty promises.
What is it with you and guns?
* I like how they make liberals heads explode with a shot being fired.
* Two words: sonic boom!
* Action at a distance is intriguing – just like quantum mechanics. It’s Science!
* They make good neighbors: they’re like a fence in your hand.
Guns are a multi-billion dollar industry.
Guns employ about a million people in the US alone.
Oh, and that whole Constitution and 2nd Amendment thing….
No wonder so many lefties hate guns….. They make jobs that aren’t built by government.
*without a shot being fired, obviously. Hehehe.
* I’m confident that I can hit what I aim at, even headshots at 500 meters with open sights.
* Owning and using firearms implies an acceptance of responsibility.
* It requires confidence, maturity and patience to become proficient…so that weeds out OWS and anarchist posers.
* They’re good for shooting things dead, like terrorists, foreigners who hate us, and redcoats
* In a pinch, you can pistol whip someone. Mmm…pistol whip
* What else are you gonna shoot at the gun range?
* You don’t bring a knife to a gun fight…unless it’s between two monkeys
* Orthodox Jews can’t turn on the light, drive, or cook on Friday nights, but they can shoot things
* A kosher firearm produces tight shot grouping and can’t be cleaned with bacon grease
* The only thing better than one gun is a higher caliber gun
* Armed people don’t generally become “victims”.
* Bows and arrows just don’t pack the same punch.
* Unless you’re Rambo and you can blow up a helocopter with a bow and arrow.
* When someone threatens to shoot you, it sounds better to say “not if I shoot you first”.
* Or better yet, don’t say anything and just shirt first. Even if your name is Han Solo.
* They come in so many sizes and colors. Very fashionable!
* Throwing a bullet at someone doesn’t have the same effect, and people generally duck when you throw something at them. And then they punch you.
* We settle for guns because lightsabers haven’t been invented yet.
* You can’t conceal-carry a rocket launcher…or legally own one.
* Bringing a gun to a knife-fight is wicked smart.
Poor CNN is always so confused. Their favorite religion drags people (enemies, family members that have disgraced their “honor”) into a public forum and kills them by pelting them with stones or slits their throat with a knife…often in front of a video camera or a gathered crowd. Yet, we’re supposedly uncivilized for wanting to carry a sidearm used only for self-defense of ourselves and others.
You can’t do an Elvis on your TV while watching CNN with a blow-dryer, you know.
Guns are useful for securing borders and reducing organized crime. Oh, wait…
Husbands in horror movies look stupid grabbing fire pokers before looking for the intruder. They look even more so after they find him.
Because we can’t all afford tranquilizing Batarangs and flying tanks.
Have you ever tried throwing a bullet at someone? It’s not very effective.
Ditto for bean bags.
Flamethrowers are awesome, and it’s great to see burning wreckage, but sometimes you just need to see something blow apart on impact and flamethrowers just aren’t very good at that.
It’s fun to bullseye womp rats back home with a slugthrower from your T-16 skyhopper.
Plausible deny ability for those awkward moments you’re really glad to see someone.
Some s rather valuable, its a way for people to invest in something that you can use.
They’re almost as much fun as elephants with mounted laser weapons, but far easier to keep and maintain.
The mere thought of them creates an instant panty wad for most liberals, good stuff that there is.
They keep the dream alive in all of us that one day we could, as individuals, have one built capable of shooting a nuclear projectile at that pesky smart-azz moon
God made men (and women). Guns make them equal.
Because when seconds matter the police are minutes away.
They make liberals cry.
They are the last defence from tyranny.
Thay are what I own a lot of until I can buy a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range.
I need guns. Long guns. Otherwise, what would my name be? (Don’t go there, please.)
they ensure that I’ll be around to file a police report when the police show up.
they keep the government from just deciding that it can take all my stuff and tell me what to do.
1 gun can keep my family fed, secure, and free; nothing else offers that kind of efficiency.
What is it with me and guns? My hands are neither cold, nor dead.
It’s my bear insurance, and I don’t know if the goverment will force me to buy that one day.
You can only overthrow tyrants with a bow and arrows in ‘Robin Hood’ and the ‘Hunger Games’.