Archive of entries posted on October 2012

Random Thoughts: Disney Star Wars!!!

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Because of global warming, in the future we’ll get hurricanes every other day and squirrels will be the size of trucks.

Was expecting a new How I Met Your Mother Monday night, but it was switched to a rerun. So we’re not unaffected by the storm in Idaho.

If lots of people were talking about President Bloomberg, ever more people would be talking about a military coup.

With polling suspended, how are we going to know who will win one week from now?

“We have angered the climate and it is now punishing us for our sins of fossil fuel burning and gay marriage!”

New genius idea: Set it up that if someone calls your phone, it just makes them dictate a text to you.

We must make a sacrifice of our economy to appease Mother Earth so she doesn’t punish us with global warming and its hurricanes.

The anti-science people are a bunch of idiots spouting off about what they don’t understand. The pro-science people even more so.

If being pro-science means I get lectured by pea-brains how one hurricane is definitive proof of global warming, count me as anti-science.

New genius idea: A gun that shoots and kills hurricanes.

Chris Christie: “I’m postponing Halloween. And since you don’t want your candy to spoil, just give it all to me. NOW!”

They barely even noticed hurricanes in the olden days since there was no electricity to knock out.

Anyone want to speculate on what the polls would be if they released them?

Hey, journalists, we’ll lay off you if you just speak the obvious truth, “We’re very liberal and of course it affects our coverage.”

Presidential ticket idea: Bloomberg riding Chris Christie like Master Blaster.

A new Star Wars film from Disney? Tell me George Lucas will barely be involved and I might be excited.

So a Marvel/Star Wars/Donald Duck crossover is theoretically possible now, right?

Star Wars is a great property and some really good movies could be made from it — as long as George Lucas can just let it go.

Buttercup will turn 5 in 2015; don’t know if she’ll be old enough for Star Wars yet.

I wonder how they got to the $4.05 billion figure to buy Lucasfilm.
“We’ll offer you $4 billion.”
“Nah… that’s not enough.”

They’re planning to put out a live action Star Wars film every few years. That’s actually what I was hoping would eventually happen.

It looks like George Lucas is finally handing off Star Wars movies. This is a good thing.

Oh yeah. There were some other live action Star Wars movies: The Ewok movies. AND THEY WERE AWESOME!!!

My hope is Star Wars will be like the James Bond franchise. Some will be good; some bad. But they’ll keep it coming.

At least this Star Wars news has reminded us once again that there are things much more important than elections.

I just don’t see much possibility Disney could do worse than the prequels. Have Nate Silver run the numbers on that.

Know who might direct a good Star Wars film? Brad Bird.

Little late, but first tweet on the Disney acquisition of Star Wars should have been, “I have a bad feeling about this…”

LUCAS: “$4 billion if you want me to do another Star Wars movie.”
DISNEY: “How much for you not to do one?”
LUCAS: “You couldn’t afford it.”

I asked Twitter if I could get a blue check mark, but they told me no one cares if I’m really me. Hurts because it’s true.

If GOP doesn’t take the Senate this year, do they have another good shot in 2014 (6 years after Dem gains in 2008)?

Hot Air is my favorite political blog, but the video ads that start playing a few minutes after you’ve been to the site make me want to murder it.

Polls prove it pretty well that Obama is a shoe in for reelection if only Democrats show up on Nov. 6th to vote.

Maybe Disney will surprise us and make a Star Wars that is a hard R that would make even the producers of Game of Thrones blush.

Link of the Day: Obama Is the New N’Sync

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[High Praise! to Monster Hunter Nation]

See, I told you so time.

Excerpt:

What we are seeing currently is what happens to all boy bands. Eventually enough people realize that they lack talent and they actually kind of suck. The media will still push them, but then the cracks will start to show. More and more people will see past the glossy media hullabaloo to discover that the boy band is just meh. Then it is inevitable. Once it becomes cool to hate the boy band, their career is over, and they will fade away into obscurity.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

A Moment With Joe Biden: Obama Will Help

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[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …and I want to take a moment here to speak directly to the folks who were in the path of this devastating hurricane… Hurricane Sandy. I want to speak directly to all of you who are sitting in your homes right now, without power or any other utilities, listening on the Internet. Barack is working with state and local authorities to help you. Just keep watching your local television stations and go to our website, and they’ll keep you updated as to when you can expect to get your power back working again…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

Wisdom of the Day: Moon Christie Burns Hack

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I’m in Charge Now

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The massive storm Sandy has hit the east coast. So far, no word from there. It’s possible then it’s been completely wiped out. That would mean Idaho is now in charge of America and I’m probably acting president. I’ve anticipated this happening and already have a kill list ready. Here it is so far:

MY KILL LIST
* Foreginers
* Hippies
* The inventor of clamshell packaging

Anyway, I would just like to instruct the citizens of this great nation to remain calm. I am in charge now. And I have declared martial law. Anyone who now whines will be packed into a crate and shipped to Canada or Mexico — whichever has less shipping costs. As a measure to get spending under control, California has been kicked out of the nation and a border fence will now be constructed around it. Also, taxation is being suspended; the government doesn’t need more money until we use up all the bombs we have.

So don’t worry, America; we will continue into a bright, east coast-less future. And if we have any problems, don’t bother we with them. I’m the president; I’m in charge of the government and don’t care about your silly, individual problems. Wake me if another country is invading.

That is all.

Job training

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Sunday night, the president flew to Florida for a Monday campaign appearance. Then, he flew back to Washington and Bill Clinton took his place at the campaign event.

The question that some asked was why would Obama make the trip to Florida in the first place. Well, lost in the story is the fact that he did appear at a campaign office:

Yesterday, as he delivered pizzas to campaign workers in Orlando, Florida, Obama said he realized that the storm would impede his ability to make the final push for a second term in person.

See? He delivered pizzas.

That skill could come in real handy come January 21st.

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