I think that I have successfully cut everyone out of my life who likes raisins in their cinnamon roll.
— Fun_Beard (@Fun_Beard) March 13, 2013
Sadly, most alcoholic drinks refuse to admit they have a problem.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) March 13, 2013
The new pope named himself after St Francis of Assisi, because he too had mastered Angry Birds.
— Konstantine Simakis (@MensHumidor) March 13, 2013
Has Obama congratulated the new Pope yet with a picture of himself?
— S.M (@redsteeze) March 13, 2013
THIS JUST IN: Black smoke was seen coming out of the White House chimney today…still no budget!!!
— Sheriff Jim Wilson (@sheriffjim) March 13, 2013
See I thought obama fixed it so that he’d be Pope. Wonder why that didn’t work for him? I’d say it was because he wasn’t Catholic, but he’s not American and he’s president. I guess the Vatican wouldn’t let him be Pope without showing his birth certificates. Oh well there’s always Holy Roman Emperor or President of the Intergalactic Council.
Or President of the United States.