I'm like a wild animal, girl… I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

— The Natewolf (@thenatewolf) January 30, 2013

No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries

— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) February 27, 2014

When I heard them say "John Mayer Trio," I got scared for a second that there was more than one of him.

— Greenfield-Sanders (@Liliana) February 28, 2014

All you really need to understand about the 90′s is that there were two super popular bands with the word “verve” in them.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 1, 2014

gravity won…but enough about my wife

— Horton Atonto (@crushingbort) March 3, 2014

without the hard work of editors, every movie would be wolf of wall street #oscars

— Andy Levy (@andylevy) March 3, 2014

Between "Django" last year and "12 Years" this year, slavery has never been hotter!!!

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 3, 2014